


It's Just Experimenting

by TheUltimateUndesirable



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Auror Ron Weasley, Barebacking, Battle of Hogwarts, Best Friends, Bisexual Ron Weasley, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry Potter, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Complete, Confessions, Consensual Underage Sex, Cowgirl Position, Drunk Sex, During Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional Sex, Eventual Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Blow Jobs, Gay Harry Potter, Gay Panic, Gay Seamus Finnigan, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Era, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Horcrux Hunting, Horny Teenagers, Infidelity, Is it really underage though?, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Minor Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Mutual Masturbation, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Ron Weasley, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Pre-Battle of Hogwarts, Rarry, Rimming, Room of Requirement, Rough Sex, Self-Discovery, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Experimentation, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Shameless Smut, Smut, Snogging, Teenagers, Top Ron Weasley, Under the Influence of Horcruxes, Underage Sex, Virgin Harry Potter, Wand Maker Harry Potter, for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25358983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateUndesirable/pseuds/TheUltimateUndesirable
Summary: Sixth year is a hard year for Harry. Especially with trying to figure out if he is gay on top of everything else happening. Who else would you confide in besides your best mate, and best mates try to help you don't they?Age of consent is 16 but marked underage to be safe.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Comments: 168
Kudos: 574





	1. Will You Kiss Me?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So this was just an unexpected idea that popped into my head I was hoping to use as a drabble. Well as you can see the drabble went wild even if it is just pure smut. Which then has now led to what WILL be a multi chapter fic because I'm hopeless and one shots are just bloody teasers and prologues for more….. I mean at one point I’m sure most people have fooled around with their good or even best friend at least once with a kiss to see what it is like. I know I have so that's where this idea came from regarding Rarry for me. 
> 
> Will this lead to a long term relationship or just something more casual? To hell if I actually know….oh wait I do now! HUGE HUGE thanks goes to KoraKwidditch for already helping develop the rest of this story not even 2 hours after the "one shot" is posted! <3
> 
> Yes I have this taking place during 6th year canon. I'm marking it as underage, but they are both 16 now. Legal age of consent in the UK so I feel perfectly comfortable writing it, enjoying it, and sharing it. 
> 
> All rights belong to JK blah blah.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/189190041@N05/50133354737/in/dateposted-public/)

October 4, 1996

Ron simply watched as Harry paced in front of him. He was slightly concerned since his friend had said he wanted to talk privately away from the dorms, and also appeared so distressed. The year was proving to be an extra stressful one for him with all the random meetings he was having with Dumbledore on top of homework, quidditch, and stalking Malfoy. Maybe this was his snapping point and he would want him to help kill the stupid git. 

  
“I know you're dating Lavender…..” Harry finally started with. It caused Ron to furrow his brows wondering what that mattered. “...and it's kind of….weird,” he continued as he started rubbing the back of his neck as if working out some tension. “Okay a lot weird. But you're my best mate and the only man I trust…” 

  
“Thanks?” Ron said when Harry didn't say anything more. The man kicked the foot of the sofa though and made a frustrated noise taking him slightly aback. It was one of the only things the Room of Requirement had conjured for them along with a standard four poster bed, and a table with tea already on it. 

  
Ron didn't have any idea why they would need these items considering all Harry could do was keep moving. Then again Harry had opened the room so apparently he needed them for some reason, or at least the room thought he did. When Harry pulled at his hair and came to an abrupt halt facing him he got slightly concerned. His face was wild, stressed, and he looked desperate like he had made the mistake of hexing Mrs.Norris in front of Filch. He couldn’t have been more wrong as he considered the reasoning for his friend’s state though. 

  
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. “Can you kiss me?” Harry asked in a rush. 

  
“Umm. Come again?” Ron requested. He couldn't have heard that right. The bloke was talking pretty fast, and it had been a long ass day. It was even past curfew but Harry had of course broken out his invisibility cloak that at this point they had to crouch under when they needed to make sure they weren’t seen.

  
Hard pulled at his hair again before opening his eyes. They looked troubled. “Will you kiss me?” he asked again.

  
Ron laughed outright but it quickly died when Harry's expression, if anything, took on a graver look. “Are you serious?” the redhead questioned in disbelief. Surely he couldn't be serious. It had to be a good joke. Why in the hell would he want him to kiss him?

  
“I think I'm really gay Ron,” Harry exclaimed as he began his pacing again. “I'm fucking confused about it and with everything going on it's only making me bloody mental. I've thought about it before but now it's like eating at me. I'm thinking about things all the bloody time because I thought I was into….” his didn't finish the sentence and instead began ruffling his already messy hair. “...then when I tried thinking about doing things with her I almost cringed. That isn’t normal. I’m a fucking hormonal teenager. I should be jumping down her knickers by now but no. I’m getting hard ons at times I shouldn’t. I need to know but I don't know any other way to figure it out other than actually snogging some bloke. You're the only one I trust.” 

  
“Uhhh…..” Ron dragged out trying to process what his friend was saying. He wasn't exactly surprised his friend could be gay. Harry had always had trouble with witches, and he never seemed to show much interest in them. Each time he had it had been a horrible scenario and ended quickly. Wouldn't he just know though?

  
“It's fine if it's too weird,” his friend interjected quickly. “... but I had to ask and at least try to figure it out. Not like I’m going to walk up to fucking Seamus and be like hey want to snog? Make sure you don’t go running your mouth though,” Harry said in a defeated sigh, throwing himself down onto the bed the room had provided. Apparently he had finally exhausted his remaining energy by pacing, or maybe it was just relief from having said it all. 

  
The question rang back through Ron’s ears again. “You want me…..to kiss you?” he repeated for clarification. Perhaps he had gone completely mental. He couldn’t want his best mate to kiss him.

  
“Just forget about it. I just don't know what to do and it's driving me absolutely batty. I can hardly focus,” Harry admitted throwing an arm over his eyes. “I feel like my brain is being split into a bunch of different pieces with everything going on.” 

  
Looking around the room Ron felt slightly uncomfortable. What the bloody hell was he supposed to do? He wanted to help but he wasn’t sure that was the way to go about it. What if it made this weird between them? Plus he did have a girlfriend. How could he just kiss his best mate?

  
It wasn’t a lie that Harry had been acting strange for months. Basically since the start of term he had been a bit off but Ron had chalked it up to Sirius's death, issues with his scar, and reading the half blood princes book every waking second he wasn’t obsessing over Malfoy. He didn’t doubt his friend was having trouble focusing on any one thing. Hell he was doing lucky enough just juggling classes, quidditch, and Lavender while avoiding Hermione and still being there for his best mate. 

  
Ron had to admit he loathed a worked up Harry, always on the edge. Trouble like a treacle tart dangling in front of him. The bloke could be a loose cannon sometimes nowadays, and while it was normal for him it didn't sit right with the more low key personality Harry had. 

  
With a serious sense of lingering doubt for his actions, especially considering he was in a relationship, Ron slowly walked over and sat down beside his friend on the bed. Best mates were always there for each other right? They helped each other when they needed it? That was what they had proven time and time again over the years of their friendship.

  
“Alright,” Ron said, not looking at him. “...if you uh….if you really want to? If you think it's going to help…..” 

  
The bed moved and he looked out of the corner of his eye trying not to feel weird. Harry had sat up, his face seemed relieved and eager. “Yea,” his voice no longer sounded stressed. “Yea I think it really will. You sure it’s okay?” he asked. 

  
Ron nodded his head before he could change his mind, trying not to overthink the situation. His best mate just wanted to try something out and if it was that important he would help him. It was just a kiss anyways. It wasn't like it was a big deal or would hurt either of them. 

  
For a minute they just sat there in silence until Ron couldn't take it anymore. The air was growing stagnant and he started to feel like he was suffocating. “Uh….do you want me to….” 

  
“No I can. I want to,” Harry interrupted him, seeming to ready himself finally. He shifted on the bed and Ron copied him bit by bit until they were fully facing each other. 

  
The redhead felt a blush forming high on his cheek bones as Harry hesitantly studied his face and then closed the space between them. When he laid his lips on his they didn’t really move at first. Ron couldn't breathe at all. It was awkward. Probably the most awkward moment that had ever occurred between them. Maybe in his entire life. 

  
Then slowly Harry began experimenting by opening his mouth a little and sliding their lips together. Ron felt like his heart was going to jump out of his throat with how hard it was beating from anxiety. He was kissing his best mate, or well his best mate was kissing him. 

  
Harry placed a hand against his neck to hold him in place, even though he didn’t need to, as he began to kiss him with a tad more liveliness. Ron didn't mind, but it made it feel more intense than it should have. Apparently he was starting to really get a feel of what he wanted, or thought he wanted or whatever. 

  
When Harry’s tongue slid across the crease of his unmoving lips he supposed if the bloke wanted to know if he liked men it wouldn’t do any good for him to snog a wall. Forcing himself past the mental barrier to do it Ron parted his lips. The second Harry’s soft wet flesh touched him, he gasped slightly. It felt surprisingly normal. Just like all the times he had snogged Lavender. He opened his mouth a little wider, curious himself, allowing Harry to do whatever he wanted and guide the moment. 

  
Soon Ron found himself matching his friend with a growing intensity that had started to build. When Harry’s tongue dipped into his mouth on instinct he sucked it in further. Flicking it with his own tongue before thrusting it into Harry's mouth. The raven haired man moved backwards a little from the force, probably surprised by the action, but Ron grabbed his neck to bring him back. He loved snogging after all. It was fun, fueling, and always sent blood rushing to his cock. 

  
Harry began kissing him back again with much more enthusiasm after that. Almost like he was challenging him for dominance which was something Lavender never did. It was exhilarating to be experiencing, and he brought his other hand up to hold onto Harry’s neck. If he wanted a fight for control he would have it. So far when it came to anything sexual in his life he was proving the dominating one, at least once he got in the mood. 

  
The redhead knew he had snogged alot more witches than his friend. Harry was reserved romantically, and really he had shown no interest in anyone. Apparently it wasn't just him being worried about the Prophet like Ron had mostly thought, but also because he was debating if he liked blokes or not. Rita Skeeter would have a field day when she got that bit of information. 

Before he even knew it Ron was pulling Harry closer. Breathing was becoming difficult again but for a different reason now. He could feel the hot puffs of air against each other’s faces and Merlin he loved it. Ron massaged and gripped Harry's neck, keeping him firmer in place so he could devour him. His friend seemed to like the activity as much as he did. Letting him nip on his lower lip to take a deep breath of fresh air before locking their mouths together again.

  
Out of nowhere a moan vibrated through his skin as Harry gave up a little control finally. Ron felt a surge of excitement in his belly. His cock that had apparently been hardening quickly without him knowing, made itself known by beginning to strain against the zipper of his trousers. 

  
It caused his eyes to flash open as he remembered exactly what he was doing. He was snogging Harry and apparently he was enjoying it far too much. Pulling away a brief panic set into him, but Harry just stared at him with swollen parted lips. Eyes wide and intense. He looked as surprised as he felt. 

  
Licking his own puffy lips he couldn’t do anything but stare at his friend in return. His eyes were always that vibrant green, but now they felt like they were pinning him in place. It was weird for them to be focused on him like that. Six years of friendship and that look was one he had never seen. There were suddenly questions running through his mind considering. He hadn’t expected to have a full on snog session with his best mate, and the fact he had enjoyed it had his head spinning.

  
“That uh...did…” Ron was having trouble properly forming a sentence due to shock. Did he like blokes too? “Figure it out?” he managed not to stutter. When Harry swallowed he realized his hands were still gripping his friend's neck. Harry’s one that was laxed on him suddenly felt hot on his shoulder where it had slid down at some point without him noticing. 

  
“I…..I think I'm more confused,” Harry said weakly, still not breaking their eye contact.

  
Something inside Ron urged him forward slowly….cautiously. “Okay?” he said softly with a slight quaver in his voice. 

  
Placing a small chaste kiss on Harry’s dark pink wet lips again he let him, or maybe himself, test the water again to see if it helped anything. Or anyone at this point. He found their lips lingering together, probably a bit longer than a chaste kiss should have been, but he did pull away. Granted it was not nearly as far as he had pulled away the first time. 

  
There was a weird moment of pause between them where Ron was acutely aware of everything. The air seemed to be sparking and he could see, no feel, both of their breathing starting to increase again. He had a sense of dread, worry, and anticipation wash over him. 

  
Then Harry was smashing their mouths together like he was absolutely famish. Attacking him with even more intensity than where they had left off. It took him by surprise and he was thankful he was still holding the man’s neck. However he didn’t actually try to resist it and let himself be pushed down onto his back against the bed. For some reason allowing their lips to stay connected as Harry climbed on top of him. Returning his kisses without really meaning to, if that was even possible, until they were snogging full force again. 

  
When he felt his friend's body weight lay against his cock it throbbed painfully. Ron slid his hands from Harry’s neck and into his hair to hold him closer. Getting lost in the moment and lifting his hips up to rub their pelvises together searching for more of that glorious friction. He felt Harry’s hardened bulge brush against his as he did it, and feeling the definition of the man’s cock was enough to stop his hormone driven mind again. Of all people he couldn’t be snogging and getting hot and heavy with his best mate. However Harry had different ideas and kissed the side of his mouth, continuing onto his jaw as he turned his head to the side. 

  
“Bloody hell Harry,” Ron breathed trying not to enjoy what the man was doing to his neck. It took restraint to keep from pulling him even closer. “What are we doing?”   
A noise rumbled from deep in Harry’s throat and Ron shivered from the sound from both excitement and perhaps even fear. “Figuring out that I really really REALLY like blokes,” Harry answered against his skin. “Good Godric I do.” 

  
Slowly Harry rubbed their cloth covered erections against each other again. The action caused Ron to whimper pitifully. He tried to move away from the feeling, but no sooner had he thought about it did he find himself repeating the action in natural response. Harry mouthed just below his ear as it did and the redhead bit his own lip at the stimulation, but it didn’t help.

  
“No…no. I mean….ohhh,” Ron moaned, unable to stop himself. He found his hands sliding to Harry’s shoulders. “I mean what are we doing. We.….we’re best mates. Best mates don’t snog the living daylights out of each other and want to shag each other,” he clarified squeezing his eyes shut trying not to get lost in the wonderful sensations again.

  
Harry stopped instantly which saved him the trouble, and his head popped up at his words. It allowed him a breather from his skin prickling happily. Perhaps he was finally realizing how carried away they had gotten. The raven haired man stayed propped up on his hands hovering above him though, and he blinked rapidly, maybe processing what was going on. But then he noticed Harry’s green eyes were boring into him again. 

  
“You want to shag me?” Harry asked in disbelief. Ron could hear the excitement and lust behind it though. 

  
The redhead flushed scarlet. Opening and closing his mouth a few times not having any idea what to say. Did he say that? Did he want to shag him?

  
“I…” he started but it didn’t fit. “Uh...Snogging kind of….makes me hard….” he trailed off sheepishly not giving him an actual answer. His body wanted it but mentally it had to be a bad idea didn’t it?

  
Harry surprisingly kissed him again. “Will….will you shag me?” he asked quietly. It wasn’t a plea but it was hopeful. “Please? I just want to try it.” 

  
Ron couldn’t think as his head was starting to swim with an amount of desire he shouldn’t want. Harry wanted to have sex with him? He wanted him to put his cock in his arse. He felt his erection ache at the prospect. It had him nodding his approval subconsciously as they continued to intertwine their tongues. When had they started snogging again? 

  
As soon as he did Harry rolled off of him.. Quickly undoing his trousers and starting to shove them down his legs along with his pants. Trying not to think about what he was about to do Ron stared up at the maroon canopy. His hands unfastening his own trousers in a hurry, going with the moment without thought, and pulling his cock and balls free of the confines they had been trapped in. He allowed himself to sigh in relief as the fresh air hit him. 

  
Without hesitance he started stroking himself, his manhood demanding attention. It was actually quite unbelievable how much his cock ached and the amount of precum that had already gathered at the tip. He hadn’t ever even considered kissing another bloke, let alone having sex with one. Yet here he was hard as a rock. 

  
His shirt moved and Ron looked down to see a naked Harry pushing it up his chest. He allowed his hand to fall away and help rid himself of the clothing. It was far too hot in the bloody room anyways and Harry had seen him without a shirt for years so it wasn’t a big deal. Harry had even seen his cock a number of times in the quidditch showers. Now he wondered if his friend had actually paid any mind to it, and he was horrified when his cock jumped at the possibility of having been checked out by him. 

  
“I’ve never done it before,” Harry admitted under his breath and Ron gulped as he slowly threw a leg over him and straddled his body. Seeing his friend completely naked sitting on top of him, cock bobbing in between them was doing something to him. His blood was pounding in his ears. 

  
Harry’s skin was tan just as it always was. He was all lean muscle like himself, and from the angle he seemed even taller. He was glad for the position with how unsure he still was and how frozen he felt. 

  
“I’ve….” Harry started but groaned like whatever he was going to say was painful. “I’ve tried things on myself but I’ve never had sex.,” he mumbled looking down at his chest.

  
Ron’s eyes widened and he couldn’t tell if he was excited or shocked. He had only thought he meant he had never had gay sex which hardly mattered cause he hadn’t either, but this was different. “You’ve never…” and Harry was shaking his head with a fierce blush of his own before he could finish. 

  
“No….I know spells though,” he added quickly. “...and if I’m going to lose my virginity….I want...I Think I would want it to be you.” Harry worried his lip and Ron grabbed his own cock again at his words stroking himself, brushing the other man’s erection in the process. He had only had sex with Lavender three times and she already had before. The prospect of Harry never having done it. Wanting him. Giving him his virginity. It was too much.

  
His thoughts were interrupted when Harry’s already slick hand wrapped around his cock. It was a firm but still uncertain grip. He could feel the light shake in his friend’s hand as he started wanking him. 

  
“Is this….okay?” Harry asked him. 

  
Ron didn’t trust himself to speak but he watched Harry scoot up, guiding his cock between his legs. His ball sack bumping against him as he did it and Ron had to let out a deep breath. He was getting ready to have sex with a bloke. Not just any bloke. He was going to have sex with Harry.

  
His breathing only intensified when he felt the of his cock being pushed through Harry’s fleshy ass cheeks and the head pressed against taunt skin. It was wet and Ron could feel the man’s puckered hole winking against him, probably from nerves. Harry obviously knew a lubrication spell, something he had never learned. When had he even cast it anyways? 

  
Ron kept his eyes closed. It was all too surreal and he was frankly afraid to look anymore. Even more so when hot heat surrounded the knob of his cock as Harry inserted him into his body and past the tight ring of muscles with his hand. Then Harry began the painful, at least for him, journey of sinking down onto his incredibly hard shaft.

  
Ron arched up at the feeling, the air leaving his lungs. Sex with his girlfriend hadn’t been like this at all. Harry’s arse was unbelievably tight and hot. It had to have been stretched though because it was painfully gripping him. How was the man able to get it so far in something so tiny? Maybe there was some kind of stretching spell Harry knew because surely he hadn’t brought him here already having fingered himself just in case. 

  
After what felt like ages, or maybe it was seconds, Harry had fully engulfed his cock with his ass. His bum and body weight rested against his exposed bush as the man sat on him with his hardness buried inside him. He didn’t know if he was personally going to be able to survive the experience since he was already panting slightly. 

  
Ron’s eyes fluttered open in curiosity though. Harry’s eyes were closed and his mouth was hanging open. The man was squeezing his own cock tightly from the looks of it, and had a hand on his own thigh seeming to steady himself. Experimentally Harry moved a little, and when he did Ron watched him bite his lip and his eyes pinch. Did it not feel good? He sure hoped it was good because it felt bloody brilliant on his end. 

  
Seeing his friend’s face contorted though had him his hands on Harry’s hips, rubbing them soothingly. Trying to ease him. He was right in assuming it had to be painful but apparently his hands must have been encouraging because he moved some more., and then a little more until he was slowly rocking back and forth on him. 

  
The sight of Harry sitting naked on top of was unsettling attractive. It had to be because Lavender had never rode him, or at least that was what he tried telling himself. He had been on top of her twice and the last time they were together they had been standing in a broom closet. 

  
Ron noticed how Harry’s face started to soften, and only a second later he lifted his bum a little before sinking himself back down. It caused him to choke on a moan when he did it and Harry’s eyes opened, his glasses creating a shine from the angle. His chest hurt from the lack of air, and all the mental and physical pressure he was feeling, as his best mate looked down at him. Watching as he did it again, apparently wanting to see his reaction. 

  
He definitely got to see one because even though he tried not to, his face winced with pleasure causing him to grip the man’s hips tighter and his lips to part. Why were they still looking at each other? Shouldn’t they be looking away? 

  
It must have been encouraging seeing him like that because Harry started a repetitive motion of sliding up and down his hardness. Ron’s eyes caught the movement of the man’s leaking cock bobbing up and down along with him. With more curiosity he found his hand itching to touch it. Wondering what it would feel like, but instead he flexed against his hip bone again with restraint. 

  
In only a matter of minutes Harry was full out bouncing on his cock. Ron’s own hands helping guide him as he slid in and out of him. It was absolutely glorious, and his heart raced with excitement. 

  
Harry’s hands suddenly rested on his chest, maybe because he was getting tired but it allowed him to thrust down with more power. His eyes were fixated on him and Ron felt licked his lips. He wanted to kiss him again. That thought paired with the feeling of his cock smacking against his stomach sent Ron thrusting up to meet him. 

  
As soon as he did Harry gasped. “Oh...oh…

  
Ron growled lowly at his response. It felt empowering so he did it again and sent his best mate upwards, but Ron made sure he kept his cock buried in his best mate for both of their sakes. All confusion and concern was gone. At this point he never wanted it to end.

  
“Oh sweet mother of Merlin,” Harry panted, and he started slowing down more to grind against him. Perhaps finding that sweet spot since his friend's erection was an angry red dripping with precum. 

  
Ron dug his nails into his ass cheeks and lifted him himself though so he could slam up into him. Harry cried out and Ron made his own noise of pleasure when his hole clenched his cock. It was so tight he thought he would come on the spot, but somehow he managed to stave it off. Which wasn’t easy.

  
“FUCK Harry!” he exclaimed loudly, throwing his head back hard against the mattress and feeling nearly over the edge. His belly was full of coils that were warning him he was going to snap soon. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. It was so intense.

  
Looking back up to see if Harrywas close his mouth stayed open seeing his friend fisting himself desperately. It had him thrusting into him faster and faster naturally mimicking his friend’s hand. Then Ron watched as long ropes of cum started spurting out of his cock and across his own stomach as Harry came with a mewling cry. 

  
“Harder Ron! Harder!” he pleaded with a high pitched voice as his hand kept moving, continuing to milk himself and Ron found himself abiding by his plea. He pushed Harry down onto him and he bent his knees up to dig his heels into the bed for more power. Holding him in place as he found his full strength. It was brutal and Harry never once quit mewling as Ron fucked his clenched ass harder. 

  
It was wonderful unleashing everything. Pushing his stiffness past the unyielding barrier of muscles. Forcing himself in again and again with grunts until he felt Harry opening up. Relaxed for him to use. It was overwhelming. His balls tightened and his body starting to feel like it was going numb as waves started crashing into him. 

  
“Merlin Harry…...I’m... I’m….ohhhh ughhhh oh I’m coming Harry. I'm coming!” he grunted shamelessly as his orgasm flooded him. His cock pulsing and he could feel his seed leaving him. Ron ground Harry down against him as he rocked his cock around to feel all him. Keeping himself balls deep in his arse. As far as his long cock could reach. He wanted to feel it all. “Oh fuck me Harry….” he moaned happily.

  
Slowly Ron began to still their movement. His body started feeling weak from such a powerful orgasm that his skin tingled and he felt light. Feeling dizzy all he could do was bask in the afterglow and focus on breathing and the feel of a body on him. Like it was the only thing keeping him from floating away. 

  
Ron hiss in disappointment when Harry lifted himself off of him, causing his spent cock to slip out of the nice warm body he had been occupying. The wetness of lube and cum cold against the room’s air. He hardly registered his friend laying down beside him though equally as exhausted. 

  
Uncertain how long they laid there, Ron didn’t even care and had no desire to move. Maybe a hot cup of tea when he could and a bloody towel to clean his cock off. He felt no hurry though they were already past curfew anyways. His brain was still absorbing the last of the feeling and trying to commit it to memory. 

  
“Ron?” Harry finally said, and all the redhead could do was hum his acknowledgement. “I’m gay,” he said simply. 

  
Ron almost managed a laugh but it only came out as a heavy puff. He wanted to say no shit due to how hard he had slammed himself down on his cock and how much cum he was currently wearing on his stomach. 

  
Opening his eyes, blinking away the lingering stars, Ron looked down to see the evidence of what they had done all over him. He expected to find it disgusting, some other man’s cum splattered on his body, but instead his tired cock gave it’s approval. When the thought of tasting it crossed his mind he inhaled sharply. 

  
Instead he just looked at it though. Looked at the place Harry had been sitting on him and wanking himself on with his cock up ass like he couldn’t get enough of it. Merlin it had been so good. Better than he could have ever expected or even thought of. Then again he hadn’t thought of shagging any bloke. He tried to imagine someone else there, anyone else. Maybe the Gryffindor seventh year that had a good body, but all he could see was Harry’s jaw dropped face coming in ecstasy as his glasses slid down his nose.  
“We….we’re going to pretend that didn’t happen right?” Harry asked somewhere far off in the distance to his ears.

  
Ron tried swallowing, but his throat was to dry from all the panting. How was he possibly suppose to forget the best sex he had had so far in his life. “Yea….yea….didn’t happen,” he agreed, but he knew he was never going to be able to look at his best mate the same ever again. 

  
Even worse Ron feared that he would want to snog the man again…..shag him again. Visuals of himself fucking Harry from behind into his dorm bed flew into his mind. Smacking his ass as his friend rode him again. The man’s mouth wrapped around his cock while he fisted his hair and them simply snogging as Ron drove into him over and over…..and….

  
“Yea….didn’t happen,” Ron swallowed dryly. 


	2. Curious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So Harry and Ron both wanted to be awkward uncomfortable twats which caused this chapter to be a bit difficult. Also rescuing a 4 week old kitten had me a little preoccupied. Took forever it seems, but here you go! Basically 6k words….of horrible shameless smutty smut smut. Next chapter I promise we get somewhere though. Outside of smut....probably....maybe....don't hold me to that.

XXXXXX

October 10, 1996

It had actually been a peaceful study for the most part. Hermione wasn't doing her typical nagging. Actually outside of asking her the occasional question, and a brief discussion between her and Harry, she hadn't spoken much. Then again neither had he. 

  
All week Ron’s mind had been too preoccupied to really talk much. Even with Lavender in his lap, quidditch practice and his two friends bickering over the status of Malfoy he was otherwise distracted. Just like he had feared he would be. 

  
While things seemed normal between Harry and him, just as if nothing happened like they agreed, Ron didn't exactly feel like that. Clearly Harry did though, or appeared to, but he didn't. He couldn’t shake the thoughts and still found himself thinking about it a lot. Thinking about what they had done together that night and how it had gotten to that point. What it meant for both of them, and worrying when the negative consequences of it were going to happen.

  
“Ohhh!! There's my won won!” Ron heard being whispered quite loudly much to his displeasure. He cringed internally looking over towards the noise to see Lavender hurrying his way. Last week he might have felt a little more cheerful for the attention, and a witch throwing herself at him, now though it had lost a bit of its appeal. 

  
Lavender kissed him happily on the cheek, and hugged him around the shoulders when she reached him. “I wondered where you had headed off to,” she said and Ron noticed her Hufflepuff friend coming up behind her. 

  
He forced a smile when he was feeling anything but happy. “I just want to get this bloody potions essay out of my way,” he told her. “Harry’s turned into a potions master so I figured I might as well work on it with him while I got the chance. Sorry Lav,” he apologized without real guilt.

  
“Okay that's fine,” the witch said with a dismissive gesture. “Parvati wanted us to help Eloise with her divination homework later anyways. We can just get a head start. You know how good I am in that class.” Her smile widened from her own compliment on herself. 

  
Ron nodded in agreement. He didn’t truly know how gifted she was on the subject, but he was absolute rubbish at it. Hermione loathed divination, and Harry was somewhere in the middle just as he was. Sure it was a debatable area of magic however it had proven many times to have occasional validation. Not that he would say that aloud with Hermione near him.

  
“We'll just have to spend tomorrow evening together,” Lavender continued leaning in to kiss him on the lips, and he felt himself involuntarily flinch before she did. After a brief moment she pulled away even if it was just enough to mumble against his mouth. “We will make up for tonight yea?” she half asked and half told him.

  
The redhead’s stomach twisted with confused emotion at the suggestive tone. It sounded tempting, but it also didn’t. He cursed himself for that feeling. 

  
“Yea. Brilliant,” he laughed lightly. Apparently it passed off good enough as genuine because she kissed him again before turning around with a smile, headed off with her friend. 

  
Ron went straight back to his notes as she disappeared, not wanting to look at either of his friends. For some reason he felt embarrassed instead of proud like he previously would have for being so desired. Hermione confirmed his embarrassment was warranted as she suddenly huffed, and shut her book with a loud snap. Due to the noise he looked around worried that Madam Pince would pop around the corner to give them detention for the wrongful treatment of a book.

  
“I’m finished,” the witch said with far too much attitude for two words. “...and no you can’t borrow it.” Her tone reminded her of an annoying first year Hermione. Especially as she stuffed her parchment into her bag, and grabbed her book as she stomped off down the aisle. Well stomping might have been a bit dramatic, but she seemed pretty irritated as she rounded the far corner. 

  
“What in the hell is her bloody problem?” he asked Harry once he was sure she wasn’t coming back. They weren’t exactly on the best of terms after all.  
Harry shrugged, never having looked up from his parchment. “I think Lavender gets her worked up. They don’t exactly get along in case you hadn’t noticed.” 

  
Ron sighed and rubbed at his forehead trying to prevent a headache before he continued trying to write. He very well knew they didn’t get along and Lavender seemed to enjoy rubbing their relationship in her face. Hermione’s attitude was the least of his problems at the moment though. 

  
He was used to being on the ins and out with the witch at this point anyways. Thinking about it did him no good because he never seemed to properly mend things with her. That was usually Harry’s doing or some form of event that caused them to fall back into old habits. What he needed was a distraction from everything. Perhaps he should have went off with Lavender after all.

  
Somehow Ron managed to get even less writing done without Hermione’s demanding presence by his side. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful for the absence or not. Still even without her demand to finish his homework Ron and Harry sat there a good bit longer working. Thanks mostly to the bloody book, his friend was having no problem completing his work. Unlike himself who wasn’t even actually thinking about what he was writing. 

  
A few times he had gotten an answer off Harry, but that was about it. Otherwise he was getting nothing done. Just like all week and how his mind wandered off to places it shouldn’t. Of course one place being what was bothering him the most.

  
“So uh….how’s the….being gay going?” Ron asked with his head down, scribbling absolutely random words to pretend he was doing something and having an excuse not to look Harry in the eye. The question was one that had been in the forefront of his mind, and maybe if he just out right asked it it would quit bothering him. There was silence for a minute, but Ron noticed Harry’s quill had quit moving so he knew he had heard him. 

  
“Um brilliant?” Harry finally said. “Feels a bit like a weight was lifted off me honestly. One less thing to bloody worry about.” 

  
Ron watched Harry’s quill start moving again, and he allowed his own hand to slow. He really wanted to ask him if he was into anyone, but he was sure the man wouldn’t admit to it even if he was. Or at least he figured he wouldn’t. What if it was someone like Seamus? Or even Malfoy. What could he possibly find attractive in blokes like them?

  
“What do you.....so how did you know? Or well besides the snogging?” Ron asked him a bit more confidently instead as he changed his mind mid sentence. Since the question was broad the other Gryffindor could take it whatever direction he wanted. The redhead could only hope it led to what he really wanted to know. 

  
“What?” Harry asked 

  
Trying not to appear awkward, Ron forced himself to look at the man with an internal groan for being forced to elaborate a bit, leading the conversation like he hadn’t wanted. Over the days he had spent more time than he cared to admit checking other guys out. Much to his concern no one ever came as close to being as arousing as Harry did. 

  
“I just mean….what makes blokes so attractive?” 

  
Harry frowned in thought. “I don’t know. Everything I suppose?” 

  
Ron gave him a confused look and his friend appeared torn to say more, but thankfully he did. 

  
“Girls can be pretty and all that,” Harry confessed as he rubbed his cheek. Ron took as a sign of just plain old tiredness instead of uncomfortableness. “...but there is something about a bloke's broad shoulders and a defined jawline. Sometimes there's just this….this more primal look in their eyes, and the way some hold themselves and walk that make me want to melt. The way it’s easier to connect to them emotionally too is just….” 

  
Harry seemed to bite back a moan the way his voice tampered off, and Ron realized he was sitting on the edge of the chair taking in every word his friend was saying like it was information he needed to store away. Much more important than some stupid potion notes. 

  
“Then,” Harry kept on, which Ron hadn’t expected him to. “..there are some blokes with these long legs and arms. Large hands. They just look… and feel so perfect. To hold me for once instead of them expecting me to take care of them all the bloody time like all these stupid fangirls. It's just right. Then the way their body feels, strong against mine. Their cock feels like it is….” 

  
Harry’s eyes suddenly widened and appeared to refocus, snapping out of the adorable haze Ron had watched grow over his expression. He cleared his throat apparently finally realizing he had gotten lost in thought. “Yea. I don’t know. Everything I guess,” he mumbled looking back down to his parchment.

  
When Harry quit talking Ron felt a surge of disappointment. However part of him was thankful as he registered his increased heart rate. Some of those features he possessed, and if Harry was talking about feeling bodies and cocks it had to mean he was talking about him since he was the only one he had slept with. If that was the truth of course, which Ron didn’t doubt for a second. Did that mean he was attracted to him? Sure they had gotten turned on when they snogged, but did it really mean anything outside of hormonal arousal from grinding against each other in the moment?

  
“That does sound….understandable and all,” Ron managed as he was going over every descriptive feature the man had said again. “There are some good looking blokes out there,” he admitted slowly, thinking about every arse he ogled in class or the hallways. His quill dragged across the parchment mindlessly. “Just never really thought about them like that before. I mean....can’t say I’ve ever played with a cock, besides my own.” 

  
Harry raised a high eyebrow at him and he felt himself flush scarlet. “You know what I mean,” he clarified in a rush. “I’ve never you know….touched one or anything….hard to imagine what it’s like. Someone else's….” 

  
Ron felt like his throat tightened from his confession as Harry just stared at him blankly, darting his eyes away briefly. “I...I understand that. I haven’t exactly well….played with them either you know. Just the eh…” 

  
“Yea…” Ron said quickly, understanding, and actually fearful of him outright saying they had shagged. It was an undertone they were working around, and that suited him just perfectly. “Curious though? Don’t you think?” he asked slowly. 

  
“Curious….” Harry repeated, and he could see a small blush forming on his friends cheeks as he licked his lips subconsciously. Ron hated how he watched the movement, and wondered if his friend had meant to say it aloud. “Yea some things are still…..curious,” Harry said more clearly this time. “Hopefully I can find out….eventually or whatever.” 

  
His friend let out a small laugh, and the redhead raised his own eyebrows wondering why. “Isn’t going to be anytime soon though,” Harry carried on, pulling his beaten up book a little closer as to go back to work. “I’m not doing anything with anyone else until all this shit is over with. Seriously. Imagine it. ‘Gay boy that lived for now’ plastered all over the headlines.” 

  
Ron hardly registestered what his friend was saying. Harry was still curious about things, and he had to admit to himself he was reluctantly curious. Maybe almost as much as his friend, if not more so. Ever since his hand had itched to touch his friend’s cock and his heart stopped at the idea of licking cum off his stomach he had wondered. Harry wanted to try things….he secretly wanted to try things…..

  
“What are you curious about?” Ron asked without really thinking first. Numerous ideas were flying through his mind of what there could possibly be and how things would be different from a witch. How Harry would look and feel again. If it would be different from the first time for better or worst.

  
“Er….” Harry made a noise of slight internal debate, or at least that is what Ron assumed, as he scratched at his temple. Something he often did when trying to think of the right decision. “.....do you really want to know?” 

  
Ron hurried a shrug, playing it off like it was nothing while inside he felt like having a panic attack from his boldness. Luckily Harry believed the carelessness he portrayed on the subject. It was kind of careless, but he actually was caring a great deal about potentially liking blokes and even worse having ideas about his best mate. 

  
“Umm…..I guess now that uhh…..that….has been taken care of,” Harry mumbled avoiding the word. “I’m mostly curious...about…well….” His friend worried his lip and Ron actually wondered if he would finish the sentence. A serious blush was trying to take over his face. “...about… taste.” he finally said quietly. 

  
Merlin did those words do something to his cock because it came to life with interest and Ron had to let out a stuttered breath from the rush of blood. “Yea that….uh I wonder too,” he found himself revealing. 

  
Harry’s lips parted in surprise. “You do?”.

  
Ron tilted his one head to the right side as opposed to a shrug while he slid his left hand off the table, and into his lap. Hopefully unnoticed. He pressed the heel of his hand against his crotch trying to get it to get his cock to behave. It was beginning to strain against his trousers and frankly it scared him.

  
“Yea….I mean Lav’s sucked me off once, and she seemed to enjoy herself quite a bit. She…..she let me come in her mouth after all. So it had to be enjoyable? Right?” He tried to use as a defense for his curiosity. Lavender was actually the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was his best mate's lips wrapped around him, and seeing the bloke’s bouncing up and down again in front of his face. 

  
“Right…” Harry trailed off distantly to his ears.

  
“Are you going to try it?” Ron asked. He hoped his own eagerness was held back under his voice. 

Harry snorted as if the question was absurd. “Obviously,” he drawled out dramatically like it was the stupidest thing he could have asked. “If I like blokes that uh...it...well I uh.... Just….” he began rubbing the back of his neck. Uncomfortableness clearly setting in. 

  
“Bloody hell Ron, why are you putting this in my head?” Harry’s voice seemed defeated finally about trying to remain vague on the subject. 

  
Ron grimaced at his friend's expression. Perhaps he was pushing too far in favor of his own interest. Harry was just starting to accept being gay he supposed. “Sorry,” he apologized. “…..just curious and all that.” 

  
“Well you’re making me want to do it,” Harry half complained, appearing frustrated. “...and I can’t very well go around finding someone’s cock to put in my mouth now can I?” 

  
Ron had to hold his breath so he wouldn’t whimper as his cock throbbed from the man’s words. He couldn’t just flat out say ‘you can suck my cock’, and he was very afraid he would. When he didn’t answer and Harry went back to writing Ron let out a quiet breath hoping to calm and compose himself. Harry actually worked for a few minutes. He however couldn’t seem to do anything other than look at the unruly mop of his best mates hair as he did so. 

  
Repeating to himself over and over that he couldn’t do it Ron’s eye twitched as his personal interest fought him. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t ask his best mate to blow him because nothing had ever seemed to sound so arousing. Oh he wanted to ask him, but he couldn’t. Could he? 

  
“I….” the offer tried to come out but he kept trying to resist it. Merlin was he pushing a line on making things even more awkward between them. For him anyways. With the potential to even ruin their friendship. Thankfully Harry didn’t look back up, he only hummed with acknowledgment. 

  
Then the words came bubbling out of him much more confidently than he felt, alleviating the pressure that had grown in his chest as if he had no other choice if he wanted to breathe. “... you can try. I mean if you really want.” 

  
Harry’s suddenly piercing green eyes instantly caught his own from under his lashes, but he still kept his head down. “Umm….I thought we were pretending something didn’t happen?” 

  
“We are,” Ron assured him. “...we are but….if you still need to...try things I’ll help you….”. 

  
“Are you…” Harry said unsurely sitting all the way up with a look on his face Ron couldn’t place. 

  
The library was suddenly feeling incredibly small and he could basically feel how red his ears had to be. “You...I guess...you can try it out if you want,” and Ron felt his own voice faltering with awkwardness. “I don’t care. I mean you’re my best mate and I’ll help you…..you know. Whatever you want to….” 

  
Harry actually looked around the room appearing confused then he pinched his eyebrows together. Ron figured that was how he had looked back in the Room of Requirement last week. Unable to believe what was being said. 

  
“Isn’t that kind of weird?” Harry asked him under his breath. 

  
Ron couldn’t believe that he could actually have asked that. Wasn’t the weirdest part actually sleeping together? “Wee already...shaaaa…..” he tried to say it, but his brain wouldn’t let the word form. “Just....you’re my best mate you know? Can there really be anything weird between us?” he half asked. Before he would have believed that completely, but now he was uncertain.

  
“You’re sure it’s not going to make things….weird?” Harry asked, genuinely concerned. 

  
He shook his head instantly trying to convince himself of that, while also trying to convince himself it wasn’t cheating. 

  
“You’re sure?” Harry questioned yet again. 

  
“Yea,” Ron said a bit breathlessly, feeling stuck under his friends eyes again. He could see them sparking with interest.

  
“If you’re sure….I’d maybe...want to...” his friend said sheepishly and Ron nodded his head in agreement. Harry’s blush was undeniable now even under his tan skin in the low candle light of the library. 

  
“Do you need time to….think of something?” Harry asked looking at the wall of books to the right.

  
Ron laughed at the thought of thinking about anyone else. “Merlin no. I’m ready.” He already felt like he was going to come in his pants from built up anticipation, and he panicked when Harry looked at him funny. “Just remembering what she did is...it’s enough.” he lied to cover his eagerness. 

  
“Okay so…” Harry glanced around, and Ron was briefly shocked as he saw the man start to slide under the table.

  
“What are you doing? We’re in the library!” Ron pointed out like it was some kind of secret, even though they had been talking about blow jobs quite normally for the last fifteen minutes.

  
Harry stopped and nodded towards his bag. “You know I always pack it around these days.” 

  
“Oh….” Ron didn’t actually manage to vocalize. It did appear that no one else was in the library. Even Madam Pince wasn’t in visual range from where they were sitting. Still the idea of getting sucked off from under a table was a bit worrisome, and would be absolutely humiliating if they were discovered. Yet some rebellious part of him had to admit it sounded thrilling. “Alright,” he hesitantly agreed. 

  
Ron could have sworn he saw Harry smirk as he disappeared beneath the table. Hearing the rustle of fabric that was probably the invisibility cloak he gulped, and hoped his cock didn’t give off how excited he was. The fact one of his recent fantasies seemed like it was going to happen had his heart hammering again. 

  
When Harry tapped on his thigh Ron inhaled sharply. “Got to...you know…” he heard Harry say, and Ron realized he wanted him to undo himself. He had hoped his best mate would do it because he knew his hands were going to be shaking. 

  
He wasn’t wrong either as they moved to unbutton and unzip his trousers. They shook knowing Harry was watching him, but it only caused his cock to throb more. He could feel the precum leaking from him as it brushed the fabric. If there was one thing he was confident in about himself was the size of his manhood, and he hoped it didn’t intimidate him from the task. Then he remembered how his friend had rode it like a broomstick and the worry evaporated. 

  
Pulling his erection out of his pants he quickly removed his hands so Harry could do what he wanted. Wanting to appear normal, except for the fact there was no one else visibly at the table, he tried to look like he was working. So he turned the old tattered book to face him and picked his quill back up. 

  
No sooner had he picked it up did Harry wrap a hand around his hardness and start stroking him. It caused him to grip his quill tighter. The fact his best mate was on his knees touching him so privately again was unbelievable. 

  
When Harry licked the head of his cock without warning Ron realized that a blow job in the library was a horrible idea. If just the slow wide licks the man was repeating back and forth across the tip had him biting his lip he didn’t know how he was going to survive the rest. Maybe Harry had never received a blow job and didn’t know the torture he was putting him through.

  
Feeling his stomach muscles tightening Ron was grateful when the warm wetness started engulfing his cock without further teasing him. Slowly his tongue circled around his full length as he gripped the base, moving his hand slowly. Dragging his tongue up the underside as if trying to get a feel of all of him before tracing the crown with his tongue again causing his cock to twitch. 

  
Harry must have taken that as a sign of approval because that’s when he actually attached his lips to his cock and sucked on him. Hard. A tight pull that caused his hips to move forward to follow the suction before he could stop himself. He held onto the edge of the table to try to keep from moving anymore.

  
To his complete shock the bloke took to the task like a natural. So much so it caused Ron’s jaw to drop in a way Lavender never had. He could hardly believe it was the first blow job Harry was giving with the way he sucked him down. Bobbing back and forth, working his tongue, and stroking him all at the same time despite his length and girth. It was magnificent and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to last that long.

  
His left hand went down to cup the back of Harry’s head, flexing his fingers against his scalp hoping to control the man’s enthusiasm. It was taking everything not to thrust into his mouth since he couldn’t move like that in the bloody library. So he gripped his quill and Harry’s head as tightly as he could. To the point the tip of the quill began digging into the table due to the strength to restrain himself. 

  
Harry tongued at his slit as if he wanted to get more of his taste which was sure to happen if he kept it up. He went back to teasing the sensitive hard head with rough hard licks. Then the man took him back fully into his mouth and repeated his earlier actions more vigorously.

  
“Harry,” he hissed trying to get him to slow down as his balls started to draw upwards with the threat of release. If he didn’t stop he was going to come any second and the bloke’s mouth would end up filled with fluid. 

  
“Harry you got to...I’m...I’m going….” Ron tried again to warn his friend, but he had to force himself to quit talking or he was going to groan loudly enough he was sure to alert the whole library to what was happening. 

  
To his shock though he felt a vibration around his cock, and Harry kept on sucking him. It sent shivers up his spine and he started coming trying to quietly gasp for air as his entire body surged with an overwhelming orgasm. Ron pulled him forward by the back of the head, shoving his cock down the other man’s mouth. When he felt his nose being buried into his bush he sighed in relief as his cock continued to pulse. 

  
Harry’s throat started clenching around him as he started making a sputtering sound and Ron instantly let go of him despite still dripping his seed. Both because his friend was choking on his cock and because it was loud. Harry pulled off of him as he released him and he heard him trying to clear his throat, but the man’s mouth was back around him in seconds. Sucking just the tip perhaps making sure to get the remaining taste that he wanted out of him. 

  
Harry continued lapping at his cock as he began to deflate and Ron didn’t know how he could possibly be getting more cum off of him. If he wanted he could get more later, but it was way too sensitive for him to let him continue even though he seemed to be having a good time. Reaching between his legs he pushed Harry’s face away. “Sensitive mate. Sensitive,” he said tightly and he let out of breath of relief when the man quit. 

  
After a few seconds though Harry didn’t appear back in his chair and Ron felt concern take over. Had he been too rough? Had he not actually enjoyed it?   
“What are you doing?” he asked softly. “You okay?”

  
“Kind of..mmm.. Kind of taking care of...of something,” Harry answered huskily and he could instantly tell his best mate was wanking.   
“Was it good?” he asked with genuine interest for his best mate’s feelings.

  
“You have no idea Ron...oh no…..idea…” Harry mumbled probably trying not to be loud about his enjoyment.

  
Ron felt a surge of exhilaration. The words left his mouth in a hurry before he could change his mind and let doubt take over. “Can I try?” 

  
There was no answer right away, but then he felt Harry’s shoulder brushing back in between his legs, pushing them apart. Looking down he saw his friend’s face suddenly peak out from beneath the cloak. The sight of seeing the man’s face, wet lips and all, above his spent and exposed glistening cock caused him to swallow down the sudden urge to kiss him.

  
“What’d you say?” Harry asked.

With what little courage he had thanks to endorphins he repeated his words what he hoped was nonchalantly. “Can I try? Clearly you, or uh….you and Lavender like it, so there has to be something good about it? Yea?” 

  
Harry actually huffed a laugh, but then the small smile disappeared for some reason and he no longer made eye contact “If you really want to, I suppose….”

  
“Switch positions yea?” Ron suggested, having the strange desire to stroke his hair reassuringly…..but he didn’t.

  
‘Okay,” Harry said and Ron watched as Harry disappeared beneath the table again, only to reappear on the other side. 

  
Before the bloke could get a good look at his sweaty face Ron chanced a half arsed glance around again as he scooted his chair back and ducked under the table. Getting down onto his hands and knees he quickly snatched the invisibility cloak from Harry’s hand to throw over himself. The silky fabric was comforting as he took a deep breath at the relief of being hidden from everyone. Even from Harry. It was like he could breathe and think without worry. 

  
Harry’s cock was already revealed and standing tall causing Ron to just stare at it. It was the same one he had gotten to watch spilling it’s pleasure due to him only a week before. He wondered if it had the same angry purplish red tone it had worn then, but it was impossible to tell in the shadows. Why was the idea of sucking his best mate off so exciting to him all of a sudden? He had done nothing but envision what Harry was capable of doing to him, not what he could do. 

  
Shuddering the question of if he was gay himself entered his mind again. He would be pretty gay if he put a cock in his mouth wouldn’t he? Even worse, what if he liked it? No doubt he liked shagging him and getting blown by him but was it going to be the same if he was the one doing it. Did he care about that or the fact it was Harry?

  
Suddenly Harry went to stroke himself, but Ron quickly batted his hand away. He didn’t realize how much he wanted to do it until the possibility he wasn’t going to get to presented itself. It would probably drive him as mental as Harry had been before their first kiss if he didn’t. 

  
“Ron…” Harry dragged out quietly above him in an almost threatening tone. “If you don’t want to take care of it you better well let me cause my balls are starting to hurt here.”

  
Ron reached out and grabbed Harry’s cock without thinking anymore. It was soft and smooth just like his own, but undeniable hard underneath the skin. He stroked it experimentally a few times. Brushing his thumb up against the bottom of the head just like he liked since he figured it was a lot like wanking himself. Harry’s cock jumped, and he took it as a good sign. So he repeated the action again and again. 

  
“If…..if you want to try it mate you better soon,” Harry told him after a few minutes. “It kind of worked me up when I was…..”

  
Ron took him in his mouth before he could finish the sentence. Again Harry had gotten that turned on from him and it filled him with something he was scared of. Unlike his friend’s teasing and taking his time he went straight to hallowing his cheeks, causing a pressure to build around the man’s cock. He was afraid that if he licked him first he would get so caught up in it that is all he would do until the raven haired man was coming on his face. Especially now that the faint taste of musk and bitterness dribbled on his tongue. 

  
The hard shaft was heavy in his mouth, but it was just as soft as it had been in his hand. It tasted and smelt distinctively Harry. Trying to think of what his friend had done he kept his cheeks hallowed and sucked backwards. Pulling the man’s skin with him and Harry hissed causing him to let go with worry. 

  
“No no,” Harry whispered from above him. “It’s fine. Just cover your teeth more,” he instructed.

  
Ron curled his lips more and with red cheeks from embarrassment at getting it wrong took him in his mouth again. His heart was racing from wanting to taste him again. Already the seconds he had been on him was intoxicating. 

  
While Ron knew he was already doing a sloppier job than Harry had he couldn’t find it in him to stop or slow down to improve. Hell he hoped he could improve later. He just wanted to keep feeling the soft skin sliding between his lips as he picked up speed. Then he remembered to move his hand as he bobbed up and down on him like Harry had done. Stroking him and sucking him at the same time which had created a double sensation for him. He found it harder to move his tongue as much as Harry, probably due to all the multi tasking paired with breathing heavily through his nostrils. 

  
Ron placed his other hand on Harry’s leg to steady himself, only to find his friends fingers digging into his thigh. He grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed for someone’s comfort as he picked up speed. When he did it the other man reluctantly relaxed his hand, but Ron held onto it tighter, smoothing his palm against the top of it in a soothing manner enjoying the friction of feeling their skin rubbing together. 

  
It was only seconds later that the hand flew to his head. Unlike him Harry grabbed his hair trying to pull him off. To his own surprise it only caused him to suck harder in retaliation. He was completely immersed with the desire to get his best mate off and get a real taste of him. All of it coating his mouth with the spurts he had watched shooting onto his belly.

  
“You better get off Ron or….ohh ohh….” Harry said through clenched teeth. 

  
Ron knew what it meant, but she couldn’t find it in himself to stop. It was like he was sucking on a lolli and wanted the last of the flavor, and only a second later that is what he got it. Like a secret filling hidden inside that started flooding his mouth. Salty bitter spilling onto his tongue that he actually didn’t like at first. It had to get better though. The way Lav had sucked him down and Harry had licked at him like it was melted chocolate it had to be good. 

  
Swallowing only two gulps of his friend’s pleasure he let Harry’s cock fall out of his mouth in shock. He sat there watching as Harry finished stroking himself and he continually ran his tongue along his teeth. Licking his lips that were leaking saliva and come. 

  
Ron slowly sat back on his calves, realizing how much he had liked it. How much he had liked sucking his best mate off, and good Godric he liked the taste of Harry’s cum in his mouth. Even worse without a second thought he knew he wanted to do it again.

  
He didn’t know what was happening to him or their friendship, but he was liking it. Harry didn’t want to touch women though, but he didn’t mind them at all. Yet he was also apparently liking what men could do. Harry was different in a way that had him….

  
“Ron?” came a questioning voice, and Ron felt a wave of panic wash over him like a bucket of cold water. He couldn’t find himself with the courage to crawl out from the table just yet. There was no way.

  
“Good?” he asked to satisfy him with a response of some kind. The word came out uncertain if it was even a suitable word since his brain was jumbled in a mess of thoughts.

  
Harry chuckled above him. “Bloody fucking brilliant mate,” he answered and Ron felt a surge of happiness course through his veins. Whatever was happening inside him he was undoubtedly in trouble   



	3. It's Becoming An Issue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: From here on out I am going to be doing a little bit of time jumping because both it’s still canon to a point and I don’t want to just drag it out forever. So there will be quite a bit of increased emotion and sexual activity in this compared to last time! Hopefully it worked out!

May 18, 1997

Ron could feel his heart beating in his ears. The common room was nothing but noise and the cheers of celebration. Yet to him it was soundless and the air was suffocating. He had the instant urge to blow something up as he watched Harry kissing his sister. It was even worse than watching Dean snog her. Honestly he was considering strangling the man, and it wasn’t all because it was his sister who’s lips he was touching. Okay maybe it was a little, but he couldn’t strangle his sister even if he wanted to. 

  
For months now it was just the two of them. Only he had been kissing Harry. It had even gotten to the point being around Lavender was unsettling to him and kissing her was the awkward situation. The witch apparently picked up on that feeling and much to her own dramatic heartbreak broke it off with him. Granted she had thought the issue was Hermione. It hardly mattered why though. He was rid of her and that was what had mattered to him. 

  
Hermione and he had grown a bit closer since Lavender broke it off with him. He had mixed feelings towards her. It almost seemed like she genuinely liked him, and it was comforting in a way. A way that he couldn’t engage with Harry at all, at least in public. No matter how much he wanted to. So that energy and desire he directed a little more towards Hermione in the Great Hall, classes, and common room. 

  
Trying desperately, Ron worked to imagine someone snogging Hermione as he watched Harry and Ginny snogging in front of the whole of Gryffindor. Fred, Charlie, hell even Ginny. Yet none snogging the witch had his blood boiling like it was seeing his best mate being kissed by one of them.

  
He clenched his fists tightly. The jealousy the redhead had yet to truly feel was overwhelming. It was a surplus of feeling he neither expected nor enjoyed. Even watching Hermione go to the Yule Ball with Krum hadn’t pissed him off so much. 

  
Turning on his heel he exited the portrait. He didn’t have any idea where he was going to go, but there was no way he could be in the common room. No way he could look at either of them doing….that. Harry was gay. Very much so. How could he possibly have the audacity to kiss his sister? Sure he had the suspicion that Ginny was pursuing him harder than ever before, but not once had he considered the man giving in to it. 

  
Before he realized it he had somehow ended up before the Room of Requirement, and with a frustrated growl he left the empty expanse of wall. Choosing instead to walk deeper and deeper into the castle until he finally started coming across unused old class rooms. Even the door knobs were covered in dust. Honestly he wasn't even sure where he was at as he grew tired of walking. The castle always seemed to have untouched areas that they had yet to discover. 

  
Most of the anger having melted away he was left with a little exhaustion. Mentally and physically especially after detention. He wasn’t even annoyed that they had missed the quidditch match anymore which said a lot. 

  
Opening a random door he looked inside. It was simply an old unused classroom. One that looked like it hadn't been used in nearly a century. The desks had all the chairs sat on top of them and there wasn't a single book or piece of parchment anywhere. 

  
There was no one around and that's what was important so it would do. It wasn’t like he had to hide but he wanted, or more like needed, to be alone. So with a sigh he picked up one of the chairs after scourgify, and sat it facing the window to take a seat. Apparently he was still on a decent upper level considering the view he had of the grounds as the moon highlighted every cliff and hill. There was no sign of the lake so he was on the opposite side of the castle.

  
Ron rubbed his face into his hands. His emotions mixed and tangled. If Harry was going to be kissing Ginny they couldn’t keep snogging in alcoves, wanking together or sucking each other off in their beds. Running off to shag in whatever private room they could find would have to stop also. The Room of Requirement was always their preferred space but sometimes it was occupied. Harry suspected Malfoy of course, and other times they just couldn’t seem to wait. That had landed them in an uncomfortable broom closet once but they refused to risk getting caught in the dorms. They weren't exactly quiet when they fucked. 

  
The whole situation, an invoiced arrangement, was more than a habit they had fallen into. Their times together where they were in each other's embrace or naked were relaxing, relieving, and intimate enough that Ron felt closer to his best mate than ever before. He couldn’t imagine that changing. He didn’t want it to change, but maybe it was finally going to have to. The thought surprisingly hurt him more than he thought it would when it crossed his mind. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Ron wasn’t sure how long he sat in the dirty old room. It had to be a fair bit because the temperature dropped thanks to the window that leaked in the cold night’s air. He had annoyingly sealed it with a charm before casting a warming one over himself. Sure his bed sounded brilliant but returning to it sounded daunting. 

  
Hell he didn’t even know how he was going to manage looking at Harry again, or not glare at his sister. It wasn’t like any agreement had been broken, but it felt like it had. Over and over in his head he tried to reason with himself about his feelings. Perhaps he did need someone he could actually be with. If he really wanted to he was certain he could get Lavender back. Hermione was a good possibility, but honestly the idea of dating her was just weird. Then he tried to validate himself with the fact snogging Harry had sounded weird at first too. 

  
Suddenly the door creaked open. Ron pressed his lips together. He didn’t know who it was nor did he care to look. It could be Filch for all he knew. Detention would be worth it as long as he got a little more peace. “I’m not in the fucking mood. Piss off,” he growled lowly although he meant it to be a grumble. 

  
“Ron don’t…”

  
Hearing Harry’s voice sent a spark of annoyance up his spine. “I said piss off!” he yelled without turning around. Of course it would be Harry. All he ever did was look at that stupid map. 

  
“It’s because I kissed her. Right?” Harry asked but there wasn't an actual question behind it.

  
“No fucking shit,” he said. “...and to think they call me the daft one.” The sound of Harry's trainers scuffing the floor got closer until they stopped right behind him. Ron had the urge to turn around and just jinx him.

  
“What did you want me to do Ron?” His friend asked him. “Did you want me to shove her off me in front of everyone and ruin the party? It was expected I would kiss her by basically umm I don’t know….everyone! What was I supposed to do?” 

  
Ron shot up out of his chair and turned on him. Harry was looking at him with annoyance like he was the problem. “How about not kiss her?” the redhead spat at him. “Seems pretty straight forward I’d say. Oh wait you’re straight now right?” 

  
Something sparked in Harry's eyes and his body grew rigid. Ron wished he could see the beautiful green of them in the darkness of the room. It would probably make him punch him knowing how many times the bloke had looked at him full of desire with them. 

  
“You know that’s not fucking true you stupid ass git! Or did you forget I came out to you? That you’re the one I sleep with?” Harry shouted back at him, gesturing widely. “You think I didn’t wish it was a bloke throwing himself into my arms?” 

  
“Well I don’t bloody well know what you’re thinking considering you were snogging my fucking sister!” Ron snapped at him, and he saw the anger build further on his best mates face when he did. 

  
Harry shook momentarily, seeming to restrain himself. Then out of nowhere he rushed up to him until they were nose for nose. What he expected to end up being a physical fight turned into the bloke practically copying Ginny’s moves. Just without the dramatic excitement and run. He threw his arms around his neck and although he tensed at first Harry held onto him tighter. Staring him down like it was a challenge for him. 

  
Ron slowly brought his arms behind his mates back, more out of instinct, just like Harry had done to her. Holding him only a second after he had placed them there before Harry kissed him. Kissed him hard and deep without the overwhelming adrenaline Ginny had possessed. It felt familiar and easy like all the other times they had snogged, but it also somehow felt different. There was a purpose to prove. 

  
Quickly the redhead savored the kiss as long as it would last until hesitantly, their lips wanting to linger, they parted. For a moment they just looked at each other. Ron tried to read the expression on his face, but it was difficult. His face was solid and basically unreadable. The kind of look he gave people that doubted him. It just made him want to kiss him again to melt it. 

  
“That’s what I was thinking Ron,” Harry said firmly without any softness or wavering to his voice. “That’s what I wanted it to be like. I don’t want tits in the way. I don’t want the delicateness, clinginess, or infatuation. I want a bloke to…” 

  
A fire grew in his belly from his words. So he kissed Harry again, partly to shut him up, with a little more of the dramatic energy they sometimes snogged with this time. Like they just couldn’t get enough of each other and he loved it. Loved how they always molded together, and although it still terrified him what he did with his best mate the thought of ending it…..it felt impossible to truly imagine. Even if it wasn’t an actual relationship.

  
It wasn’t one, but Ron realized it sure as hell felt like it. At least to him anyways, and he knew that feeling was wrong. That was what was starting to become the real issue although he could never admit it. He tried not to even admit it to himself.

  
Unknowingly as they snogged Ron was walking Harry backwards. Backwards until they bumped into one of the old desks causing a chair to fall to the ground with a loud bounce. A plume of dust rising into the air beside them. Harry turned to see what had happened, and Ron took the opportunity to cast a cleaning spell on the table. He wanted him so bad so he could get the image of him snogging Ginny out of his mind. 

  
“Turn around,” Ron told him, and Harry gave him a quizzical look. Probably questioning the flip in emotions. Going from potential hexes to potential shagging. To reassure him he slid a hand down to grope at his crotch where he could feel the man's cock starting to fill. Kissing him again he rubbed at it until he was cupping a sizable bulge in his palm. 

  
Harry apparently decided he had had enough of being fondled because his hands went to unbuckling and unzipping his trousers. Their lips staying connected the entire time as he pushed his pants down before turning around to place his hands on the desk. Sometimes they didn’t even really need to talk anymore. They just knew.

  
Ron sunk to his knees as he did, despite the filth. He didn’t even wait for an invitation before he grabbed Harry’s perfectly firm ass and parted his cheeks. Shoving his face in between them with a goal of absolutely causing him to melt. The way the bloke could come undone was fun to watch. 

  
This was one of his personal favorite activities. Eating the man’s ass like a meal in the Great Hall. He loved doing it more than Harry liked doing it to him. Harry preferred giving blow jobs which was just fine. The bloke gave the best head he was sure anyone could. 

  
It has taken then nearly three weeks after their first shared experience at any form of oral sex to progress to the idea of licking assholes. Harry was unsure but eager while he had been down right uneasy on the idea. That had changed quickly for him when his tongue first dipped inside him. Tasting the warm soft savory flesh, and feeling it in yet another way was ball aching. 

  
Ron groaned as he lapped at the man's hole. Pulling his hips backwards to him even more for better access. Sucking and teasing on the ring of muscles before wiggling his tongue past them again and again. He was loud and sloppy specifically for Harry to hear. The man may not like giving, but he definitely loved receiving and knowing how much Ron enjoyed it did something for him. 

  
Digging his nails into his bum Ron parted his cheeks even more. Taking a quick breath of fresh air before going back to work. Going from plunging his tongue inside Harry’s ass to licking it slowly. He could just imagine his friend’s fists clenched tightly, maybe even gripping the desk instead. He hated being teased as much as he did, which only made him love to do it. Which he continued to do by alternating a determined tongue fucking pace between loving appreciative slowness. 

  
Finally when Harry was moaning and was rocking against his face did he lick a long savoring stripe up over the man’s loosened, winking hole. All the way up across it and to the small of his back., appreciating the way he arched for him. “That what you want a bloke to do?” Ron asked, not bothering to wipe the drool from his chin.

  
“Yes,” Harry answered in a pitiful voice, pushing his arse out like he often did when he wanted more. He still didn’t know if Harry did it on purpose or if it was a subconscious move. Either way it always had Ron caressing it in his hands. 

  
“Needy,” he chuckled lowly, undoing his own trousers and freeing his hardened cock that had been throbbing as he ate the man. “Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, stroking himself in anticipation.

  
“Shut up and just do it,” Harry said with no real annoyance behind the words. It caused Ron to smile as he waved his wand to coat his cock with lube. The spell Harry had taught him the fourth time they had slept together because he was getting annoyed having to stop and do it. 

  
He didn’t bother with the stretching spell though since he had already opened him up with his tongue. Lining himself up he let the tip of his erection press against his hole without entering him. When he leaned forward just the head started breaching him, but not quite. 

  
“I will,” Ron purred. Sometimes even how he spoke when they did things together shocked him.

  
When Harry took a deep breath in one swift movement he shoved his length past the ring of muscles and into his body causing the man to mewl loudly at the invasion. He didn’t even give him time to adjust as he withdrew and repeated the action. Another satisfying mewl left his best mate. 

“Is….is this what you what Harry?” Ron asked as he started a steady pace of thrusting. “You want a bloke shoving his cock up your arse over and over again?” 

  
“Merlin yes. Yes. Just like that,” Harry moaned, dropping his head forward. He didn’t even hold onto his cock with his muscles, instead just letting him do what he wanted and graciously accepting it. 

  
“Some witch isn’t ever going to do it for you is she?” Ron asked rhetorically. “You want to feel someone’s balls smack against yours. Large strong hands holding onto your hips like this right?” The sound of their skin slapping together started echoing around the lifeless room.

  
“Fucking hell yes,” he best mate answered sounding more winded as he started to push back and meet him thrust for thrust.

  
“Say my name,” Ron said breathlessly after a minute. He needed to hear it. Harry needed to remember who he was shagging and Ron desperately wanted to hear him crying out his name. All Harry did was whine though as he pushed into him harder. 

  
“Say my name,” he repeated, but when Harry didn’t respond right away he shoved the man’s face and upper body down against the desk so he could drive his cock deeper into him with emphasis. His friend cried out in pleasure when he did. The more they had shagged the rougher he had grown to know Harry liked it sometimes. 

  
“Say it!” Ron demanded again and he began thrusting ruthlessly into his hot ass causing him to whimper continuously. He needed Harry to say it. Something primal in him needed it. 

  
Harry made an incoherent sound and Ron knew he was trying to resist but it was slowly getting the better of him. So he bent over the top of him, keeping himself buried inside, hardly pulling out and instead choosing to constantly rock against the man’s prostate. Ron snaked a hand around the front of Harry’s body slowly and up to his neck. Flexing his hand around it in warning that had the man’s ass clenching around him in excitement. 

  
He applied a bit of pressure and leaned in close to his ear, keeping himself propped up with one hand on the desk. “Fucking say it,” he whispered and Harry whimpered with each rock of his pelvis. “Say it for me Harry,” he said with a silky voice and that was when his mate gave in. 

  
“Ron...Merlin Ron...yessss,” Harry said as if his name was literally being forced out of him. In a way he supposed they were with the stimulation of so many nerves. 

  
Ron felt a spike of pleasure shoot through him hearing his name leaving the man’s lips in such a way. He started thrusting into him in new and complete abandonment. Before pulling Harry back upright with him. His chest staying flush against his back so he remained completely inside him while holding him close. Feel their bodies together. He loved the heat they created. 

  
“Ron Ron I’m….ohhhh Ronnnnn. Yes ohhhhhh….” Harry moaned tightly, beginning to dissolve in his arms. 

  
“Going to come already mate?” he managed in a satisfied but tired laugh. “It will be a new record. Go on. Come on my cock just like you like. Remember that full feeling and how that’s why you want a bloke. Why you want my thick cock stuffing you. My hands wrapped around you.” The redhead nuzzled his nose against Harry’s neck and brought his hand back up to wrap lightly around his sweaty throat.

  
Ron loved they were close to the same height. Sure Harry was shorter than him, but only by a few inches if that. It allowed him to peek around to see his best mate’s eye’s closed, and nostrils flaring from the air being fucked out of him. His face was one of bliss. Ron couldn’t help placing a soothing kiss where his jaw bone connected to his ear.  
“Go on Harry,” Ron whispered beneath his ear. “Show me it’s what you really want. No. No touching,” he said when his friend went to move a hand. 

  
“Ron….” he growled in disapproval from being told not to touch himself. Even though he complained Harry almost always did as he said.

  
“That’s right. Maybe I need to get you on the floor and pound into you until you can’t sit or forget it’s me,” he threatened and Harry’s ass gripped around his cock as he moaned, and ground down onto his length harder, but Ron shoved past the resistance easily. “Oh? Like that memory do you?” his voice full of satisfaction. “I do too. That was a good time. Guess we will have to repeat that soon.” That time had been a particularly down right brutal shag. 

  
Harry reached back and wrapped an arm around his head to hold onto him, and he started chanting his name like a melody. Like instead of stroking himself it would cause him to come off even quicker. Ron nipped at his neck, and Harry’s hand tangled into his flaming hair pulling him closer. It felt beautiful. It was beautiful. 

Then the other man pulled on his hair roughly in absolute desperation as he started to completely unravel. Holding onto his head with both hands so he wouldn't wank himself like Ron knew his body was telling him to do. “Oh Ron….fuck me...fuck me…..fuck….me….” he mewled on repeat as he started to come. Gripping him tighter, asshole opening and closing tightly around his cock as Ron continued to thrust up into him faster. 

  
Ron wanted to reply with something smug, but he was so close to his own edge. Tingles lighting fire to his skin hearing his name and being held so close. The cauldron bubbling in his pelvis spilling over and burning him alive with orgasmic passion. 

  
“Harry….Harry ...ughhhhh...” Ron groaned with a little bit of shame of his enjoyment, burying his face into his best mate's shoulder as his cock started pulsing it’s release inside his channel. Over and over again until he wasn’t sure there was anything left in his body at all and his thrusting slowed. 

  
Saying his name made it so much more personal when he was coming. He caressed Harry’s body instead of forcing him to stay still. Wanting to feel all that was him. Shoving his hands up his shirt to brush his stiff nipples and sliding them down to smooth over his stomach before moving them along his hip bones. Stopping only as he moved them around to his ass and he looked down. Taking in the sight of where they were connected. His heart fluttered and when it did so he panicked pulling out of his body so he couldn’t enjoy the sight anymore. 

  
Clearing his throat to rid himself of the thoughts, or feelings, or whatever it was he righted his trousers from where they had fallen to his knees. He didn’t bother with a cleaning charm right away. He liked the slick feel of Harry still on him until he took a shower. 

  
Ron licked his lips watching his best mate gathering himself before bending down to pull up his pants. Allowing him to enjoy one final view of his ass before it was hidden away again by cloth. Maybe he would just set fire to his trunk so he wouldn’t have any more clothes, but then the thought of everyone ogling Harry’s ass quickly killed that idea. 

  
“Damnit Ron,” Harry said out of breath still, turning around to face him. Ron smirked seeing the little wince on his face caused from their shagging. “Why did you have to talk like that?” 

  
“What’s the problem? You liked it,” he pointed out smugly managing to make out his flushed but happy state in the dim light of the moon.

  
“No I didn’t!” Harry tried to defend weakly as he buttoned his trousers.

  
Ron snorted and then actually laughed unable to stop himself. “Really? Really?” he repeated not believing it for one second. “I say coming untouched on my cock says a bit different mate.” 

  
Harry shoved at him playfully with a smile. “I don’t like it if it causes me to come in the first five minutes.”

  
Leaning in with pride Ron kissed him casually on the lips and took in a deep inhale of all that was Harry to last until their next moment together. Hoping there would be another together. “I think it proved both of our points,” he said when they parted. 

  
“And what were those points?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows. 

  
“You’re gay as fuck,” Ron said hoping he wouldn’t want to ellaborate on the other point. The other point being he was who Harry came completely undone for, and no woman was going to change that. 

  
Harry rolled his eyes. “We figured that out months ago….” and then his cheerful bright smile faded a little and he appeared to be thinking. “...so...why do we keep doing this then?” he asked, a bit more quietly. 

  
Ron shrugged, afraid of the truth. For some reason he felt like saying he loved it wasn’t the right one. “It’s just experimenting,” he answered hopefully with a placid face, just like they had brushed it off as so many times before. 


	4. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another time jump! Sorry if this one seems dragged out. Fucking Ron and his complex feelings and crap wouldn't stop. I'm starting to think the emotional range of a teaspoon is DRASTICALLY an underestimation.

July 30, 1997

The summer had never been more daunting in Ron's opinion. It had been a month since Dumbledore’s death, and the depression could be felt by everyone. All around him the air reeked of it. Bill and Fleur’s upcoming wedding was the only thing that managed to keep people moving. Even going as far as to allow forced, although sometimes genuine, smiles on peoples faces. His mum and dad to be exact. Maybe it was fear for the Order, but they seemed the most bothered. 

  
Emotions within himself had been just as conflicted, probably for more reasons really, since Dumbledore died. Actually longer than that really, but seeing the Headmaster lifeless and Ginny holding Harry in her embrace while he cried had been completely numbing. What they would do without Dumbledore was actually his first concern, while Harry and Ginny’s position actually took a back burner from the shock. That was until he got back to the Burrow. Feeling more alone than ever despite a house full of family members. 

  
It was a relief to have all his brothers, parents, and even Ginny safe at home. Every time his little sister walked by him though, even talked to him, he felt a surge of annoyance. That was when Dumbledore’s death faded a little, and the hurt from his best mate flooded in. He was thankful he hadn’t seen the prat in weeks, but of course it also worried him with everything that was happening. Harry wasn’t safe after all. 

  
When Mad Eye had proposed the plan of moving Harry from the Dursleys, and how they were going to do it, Ron was conflicted with excitement, hopefulness and dread. It was an awful combination. Getting him out and to safety he wanted more than anything, but he knew the task was going to be a fight and he wasn’t wrong either.   
While he had thrown his arms around his best mate for the first time in weeks the moment he saw him there was still worry. He pushed it, and the desire to kiss him, out of his mind though. The only focus being to get him to the Burrow, and it was going to take all his focus. 

  
With the death eaters being on them from the start he had no choice, but to put everything he had into spell after spell, reflexes, and shields. Once he and Tonks had somehow managed to fight their way through and get home once again his emotions were reeled on what was an endless roller coaster. George getting hit with a curse and bleeding from the head was more than a worrisome sight. Luckily his mum and everyone had been right on top of the issue. Managing to heal him to a degree although he would never be able to regrow his ear. Mad Eye’s death hadn’t bothered him as much on top of everything else considering Dumbledore, his brother, and what was to come. 

  
For the most part since Harry’s arrival Ron had sought refuge in his room, even though he was sharing it with the man he didn’t particularly want to be around him. He didn’t want to be around much of anyone really. George needed quiet according to his mum's insistence, despite his perkiness returning so soon. The house had Fleur roaming about with excitement about the wedding while Hermione, Ginny and everyone else tried to share the enthusiasm and lively energy. Not something he was really up for on a constant basis in a house full of traffic.

  
Harry had been quiet for the most part also. Not that he was complaining. Ginny was on him as much as she possibly could be when not in the eye sight of everyone else. It made him want to leave his room even less. Perhaps his best mate could feel his mood because they basically avoided each other besides dinner, and when Hermione wanted to hang out with them both. 

  
Hermione wasn’t as bad off on him as Ginny was with Harry even though he could feel her want to be around him. She was always good at knowing when he needed space at least, even if she was being a bit more close than before. Appearing more relieved than he had ever seen her when he had arrived safely from the battle with the death eaters. It was comforting he had to admit.

  
However Harry didn’t know how to shrug a witch off even if he were to try. Although he didn’t share the same happy expression as his sister he didn’t do anything about it either. They had had this conversation before, and he didn’t know how he could keep allowing him to do it to her unless for some reason the bloke had changed his mind. If he had, Ron didn’t have any idea how he would handle it. It wouldn’t be good he knew that much. 

  
For the first time all summer, the first time in three days since Harry’s arrival, supper was actually a pretty lively affair. Having his best mate around seemed to be a mood booster for everyone. It also probably helped that Bill's wedding was now only two days away. While he smiled and laughed with the rest of his family he couldn’t help but continue to ignore his friend’s presence minus random eye contact. He could see how the man wanted to talk, but he didn’t feel that desire to engage. 

  
Of course sharing a room that finally came to an end after the only pleasant supper they had had so far this summer. He had even already been in bed ready to hope for a good night's sleep that he hadn’t been getting. Perhaps he had gotten to chatty with him, and shared too many laughs together when Hermione had taken them both upstairs to her room to try and discuss what their plan was. While the conversation had started out serious it had eventually turned into the familiar comfort of years of friendship.

  
“Are you just not going to talk to me?” Harry asked him randomly from his own bed hardly ten minutes after getting settled. 

  
Ron huffed rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling. It was unavoidable after all especially if he didn’t want anything potentially dramatic to happen while everyone else was winding down for the night. His mum was a stressed mess after all and needed to sleep also. Arguing and drama were not what he was in the mood for.

  
“What do you want to talk about?” he asked simply giving in easily to hopefully satisfy him.

  
Harry seemingly hesitated for a second as if he hadn’t expected him to answer. “Are you okay?” 

  
Ron scoffed. “Am I okay?” he repeated. There was a moment of silence between them where he debated rolling back over to face the other way. 

  
“I’m worried too,” Harry said into the empty air. 

  
“I think worrying is just the tip of the horn mate,” Ron grumbled.

  
“What are we even really going to do? Sure Hermione has her plan but….”

  
“Hermione’s our only plan,” he interrupted him. She truly was. Ron doubted they would last more than a few days without her on the hunt for these horcruxes.

  
Harry sighed. “I’ve been trying to focus on the wedding….it’s not working though.” 

  
“I’m sure you have plenty of other things you can focus on,” Ron bit out bitterly, desperately wanting to sleep now. Trying to comfort the bloke was not on his to do list.

  
“Like?” he inquired slowly. “Not exactly keen on replaying old memories about Dumbledore like my mind keeps trying. Anything involving school, and he is the first thing that comes to mind anymore. George can hardly make me laugh….what else is there?” 

  
“Ginny,” Ron said instantly before he could stop himself. There was more silence, and this time he did roll back over. Choosing to take a deep breath of the smell of dew that was already starting to rise into the night sky.

  
Eventually as his eyes drifted close Harry’s voice came with a low warning. “Don’t even start with that.”.

  
Ron’s eyes flew back open. He didn’t know why he had any reason for an attitude. If the bloke wasn’t attempting to mingle with everyone it was always just him and Ginny. Hell between the two of them he had more reason for one. 

  
“What?” he asked in fake obliviousness to the unvoiced warning. “It’s not like I’m wrong. If you aren’t with everyone else you’re with her. Honestly like looking at love struck kneazles or some shit….”

  
“You know I don’t feel that way Ron!” Harry snapped, and he heard the bed squeak loudly where he had obviously sat up.

  
Ron only half way turned his head uncaring. “Well how am I supposed to know when you keep letting her put her hands on you? She is my little sister you know. It’s my job to watch how some fake git is treating her.”

  
“No shit stupid!” Harry snapped back at him. “Why do you think it makes it even weirder! Everyone thinks I’m dating my best mate's sister. My pseudo sister.” 

  
Ron felt anger truly swelling up inside finally. Both of them had allowed the situation to continue this whole time. He should have stepped in before now. 

  
The redhead sat up slowly and threw his legs over the bed trying to withhold himself. Narrowing his eyes at the git who was already staring him down like he was in the wrong. “Well then you better fucking stop it….” he growled. “...and quit stringing her along! It’s making you a selfish arsehole and I’m still not going to let you keep treating her this way.”

  
Harry jumped up and advanced on his bed causing him to stand. “Fine I will! I bloody will then! Then..” he said, dramatically poking him in the chest. “...then when she comes crying to you, and your mom and everyone else, and the only people like family to me hate me that’s on you Ron. That’s on you!”

  
“No!” Ron shouted, clenching his fist tightly at his side, pointing to the creaking floor. “It’s on you for going along with this bloody charade the whole time!”

  
“Charade?” his friend pulled back in what almost appeared to be disbelief. “Charade? I do love her Ron! I do care about her! Just not the way she and everyone wants me to! How hard is that to grasp? You can love someone without wanting to get in their pants!”

  
“Tell her that then!” he shouted again. “Tell that to mum! Go on! I’m bloody tired of listening to her prepare your and Ginny’s wedding already. Literally might throw up next time or drown myself in firewhisky the next fucking time she talks about how her cake is going to be this way or that way different than Fleur’s!” Ron wrinkled his nose in distaste. It was something he had tried hard to keep from bothering him and now he felt like an open faucet. His face was hot and his ears throbbed with his anger. He didn’t realize how truly angry he was inside.

  
“You know,” he continued when Harry just continued to stare him down. His green eyes looked like stone and he appeared to be suppressing the desire to punch him. He wished he would. “It’s pretty hard to imagine you snogging, and having babies with her when my cock has been in your ass a hundred times.”

  
Harry actually bared his teeth and Ron watched him shake. “Biggest mistakes of my life,” he said tightly through a clenched jaw. Fucking putting up with both of you.”

  
“Look at you,” Ron said, a bit more cheerful. “Finally telling the truth. Good job Harry. Want some galleons as a reward? Sure I got a few stashed in here somewhere. Might encourage you to do it more. Like training a slightly smarter version of Fang.” Laughter bubbled up from inside him at the comparison. He knew it was wrong, but he just was so mad it didn’t even matter to him anymore. Maybe if he felt like a dumbass he would finally stop acting like one.

  
“Oh Merlin….” Harry growled as if he didn’t know what else to say until he did. “Merlin I fucking hate you!” he shouted, closing a little more space between them but Ron didn’t bother to move. Completely ready for what would come next. If he had anything to say about it would be his mate's face on the floor. 

  
“Yea well looks like we finally share a mutual feeling on all this,” Ron sneered in a way most unfamiliar to him. In a way he thought would probably make Malfoy proud, and he felt both pleased and horrified with himself for it. Before he could decide which one it was though there was a knock at the door. 

  
The door knob jiggled. “Boys?” his mum called through the door, and Ron shot a nasty glare at Harry before shoving him back towards his bed hopping back into his own. 

  
“Yea mum?” he asked hoping he sounded calmer as he shoved his long legs back under the covers. 

  
Walking through the door she looked at them between them. “Are you okay dears?” she asked with a worried expression, eyebrows pinched together with concern. Of course she quickly dismissed him, and turned to Harry causing him to roll his eyes, and settled back into his bed. At least she wasn’t treating them any different and their exchange of words appeared to have gone unnoticed. 

  
“Was it another nightmare Harry?” she asked. “I have a touch of dreamless sleep downstairs. Bill went out and bought a batch as soon as he George arrived. I don’t encourage much now, but just a smidge to help take the edge off should do. You need good sleep my boy.” 

  
“Thanks Mrs.Weasley. I just….” Ron listened as Harry’s voice faltered, and the bed adjusted noisily. “I….guess I could use a bit of it. If you really don’t mind. If you have enough for George. It’s not a big deal I can manage….just another nightmare after all.” 

  
He could practically hear his mum smiling and probably patting him on the bloody cheek. “Not to worry dear there is plenty. I will be back in a minute don’t you worry,” she said soothingly before heading back out.

  
There was a moment where Ron questioned Harry’s hesitant words. He thought he would say he hated him again. Then he wondered if he wanted to say something else, but he couldn’t figure out what. So many options that he tried to shift through and pick that in the end, after listening to his mum enter and exit the room again with words of endearment towards his friend, completely forgoing his existence as always, he forced himself to drift off into an unpleasant fit of sleep. 

XXXXXXXXX  
  
When Ron woke the next morning Harry was already gone. Where he had gotten off to the redhead hardly cared, and he didn’t give it any thought. Instead he made his way down for some left over breakfast considering it was already noon. He also noted Harry’s absence from the lower floor. There had been a bit of ruckus coming from Hermione’s room, but he didn’t exactly fancy the idea of dealing with her. 

  
Much to his surprise the witch didn’t bother him all day. Instead she was on the constant move with the other witches in the house getting things ready for the wedding. A time or two he even heard discussions of Harry’s birthday. Something that panged at his heart for some odd reason just a bit. Maybe considering they were on the outs. Luckily the bloke had been absent all day. He was somewhere on the property though so it didn’t concern him in the least. 

  
To Ron the day passed much like a blur. Boring, fast, everyone moving quickly and constantly changing topics from this to that every five minutes. It left his head spinning. He managed to spend some time with George which was actually quite nice considering his brother was starting to get a similar headache from everything. 

  
The family still had recruited to help with a few tasks, but it was actually refreshing to put his wand to good use. So much so that he had actually volunteered most of the time in the physical labor involved. Enough that by the end of it all most worries and annoyances were put from his mind. Leaving him tired and exhausted. Ready for the next day and the happiness it would bring everyone. Not to mention the allowed indulgence of parent approved alcohol consumption. 

  
Only after toweling off for the night and making a beeline across the hall into his room did he finally see Harry for the first time all day. Ron just looked at him blankly when he opened the door. The bloke had the audacity to sit on his bed, already in his own night clothes. 

  
Ron gripped the towel tighter around his hips. and shut the door so none of the girls could pass by and see him. Harry didn’t move though, and the redhead finally noted his head hanging slightly and slumped posture. It caused his own to ease a little, not having realized how tense he had grown walking in. 

  
“I’m sorry okay?” Harry said softly looking up at him a moment after the door clicked. The room was still quite lit for already past ten pm and it caused him to be able to see the pain on his best mates face. 

  
“I will break it off with her tomorrow,” he continued. “I just….I don’t want to lose the only things I have…” his voice trailed off weakly. 

  
Ron only continued to stand there with his wet hair still, and water trickling lightly down his face. The more he thought about it he could see that point of view. To him though it seemed absurd for the man to think that. Had they not proven they were family time and time again? Hell his mum treated him better than almost everyone. Sometimes his dad also. 

  
He supposed there would be a few disappointed due to what felt like a build up between him and Ginny the last year or so. Longer considering Ginny’s obsessing. Once they found out why though Ron knew it wouldn’t be an issue. His parents understood sexuality. He had two uncles who were gay after all. 

  
“I don’t know if I’m going to tell her why though yet,” Harry went on when he didn’t respond. “I just don’t want to risk it getting out until this is all over. It will just be another distraction from what’s important and happening out there.” 

  
Ron exhaled, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face, but when he looked back his friend had his elbows on his knees and face in his hands. Why did the bloke have to make it a valid reason? Sure it was reason enough in the big picture, but he still didn’t know why he had to hide it from the family and keep stringing Ginny along. Feeling emotionally defeated he walked over and sat down beside his friend who didn’t move despite his presence. 

  
Cupping his chin he lifted and turned Harry’s head up to look at him. His eyes were dull with worry and hurt. It felt like there was so much Ron wanted to say, but just couldn’t. He was almost like the words were at the tip of his tongue…...but he shoved them down deep inside him. He couldn't, wasn’t, allowed to feel that way. 

  
“No one will care you’re gay,” Ron told him simply. “I just don’t want her hurt more than she already will be. That’s the only way I could hate you.” Gently the redhead leaned forward placing a delicate kiss on his lips. As if making up for the previous month, and for his reassurance. Harry seemed to breathe it in as relief, and Ron felt him relax. 

  
“You’ll always have me,” the redhead whispered against him, and once he said it he felt his heart race with fear, and the desperate need to back peddle. “I’m your best mate, remember? I’ll always be here for you,” he clarified with a small smile. At least that wasn’t a lie. 

  
Harry kissed him as a smile finally formed on his expression, a little brightness coming back to him. Then the bloke grabbed his face and kissed him like his words meant the world to him. Maybe they did. Knowing he always had someone he could count on. Sure fourth year he had had a bit of lapse for them, but he had just been hurt his best friend hadn’t confided in him. 

  
They fell sideways onto the bed together. No words felt needed this time. It was just them and that was the way he loved it. He loved the way his towel fell away careless and Harry slowly shed his clothing piece by piece. Taking in one another as each was removed. 

  
Ron latched onto Harry’s collarbone once his shirt was off and twisted him over to where he was laying on his back so he could lick his way down his mate’s body. Down just enough until he could take a nipple into his mouth. Rolling it around on his tongue until it formed that stiff peak he could suck on. 

  
Harry tried pulling him upwards and off of it with a small laugh, but he only sucked harder. Wiggling his hand down in between them to grope his crotch in his hand. Rubbing and massaging it until the man was squirming just the way he liked. 

  
“Quit being a bloody tease,” Harry whined.

  
“Why?” Ron asked, finally letting go only long enough to journey to the other nipple. One hard long lick and he was pleased to find it already peaked, ready for him to nipped at it. It wasn’t his fault he was so bloody sensitive. Flicking it with his tongue he took great satisfaction when Harry tangled his hands into his wet hair accepting the pleasure.

  
“You know what it does to me,” he whined a little more breathlessly as he pinched it between his lips.

  
“I know,” Ron chuckled moving on to kiss his way down the man’s navel, slipping his hand into Harry’s pants to wrap a hand around his cock. Tugging to free it from his final piece of clothing that they both worked to wiggle him free of. “Why do you think I love doing it?”

  
Once his pants were gone Ron positioned himself between the man’s spread legs. Sitting on his knees just taking in the sight that was a naked Harry who was just watching him. He wondered how long the raven haired man could wait before begging. A bad impatient habit he had, but he honestly enjoyed being wanted so much. 

  
When Harry didn’t right away as expected Ron started stroking himself to tempt him. His cock was erect and aching for friction from the moment he had put himself on top of the man. It was impossible not to get hard when they were pressed together, snogging, and devouring the other’s body. 

  
Seeing Harry’s cock jump Ron grinned, and bent over to take his friend's cock into his mouth right away. He never got tired of the taste of him and took it at almost every opportunity. Swirling his tongue around the crown, and slipping it between his slit gathering the precum that was already waiting for him. It caused a barely audible throaty groan and his pelvis to raise.

  
Ron pulled on Harry’s sack lightly as he sucked him before letting his fingers wander down the man’s taunt skin below, brushing over his puckered hole in the journey. He was obviously tight, but then again they hadn’t shagged since before Dumbledore died for many reasons. The mood had been so depressing, Harry had had to return to the Dursleys for a short period of time, Ginny kept trying to make moves on him since the moment he had arrived, and then there was the little fact they were at the Burrow. Which meant little to no privacy. It seemed worth it now that they were in the moment.

  
The redhead realized how terribly he had missed it. Missed being with his best mate and enjoying all of him. To focused on the beautiful taste of precum on his tongue, Ron brought his fingers up to Harry’s mouth. A sign that told him to suck on them enough to coat them in his saliva, which he did generously every time since they stopped using magic for it. He personally preferred to take his time opening him up. Using his fingers instead of magic meant they got to enjoy the foreplay longer. Not to mention it was so much more intimate, and that was when Harry truly begged for him. A sound he couldn’t get enough of.

  
Removing his fingers from Harry’s mouth with a pop, Ron placed them at his hole to start prodding at it. Pressing against it, and circling it teasingly until he inserted a finger. The warmth and softness bringing back so many memories that felt like a lifetime ago with everything happening. Harry’s body didn’t fight it at all and his ass seemed to welcome him back. 

  
Soon he was working on a second finger, granted with a little more challenge and resistance, but he alternated between scissoring him and hooking them. Trying to find that sweet spot that had Harry bearing down on his hand. The third finger was definitely the hardest. His rim tightening roughly around his digits and threatening to expel them. 

  
Gently he wiggled them around as he took to sucking his cock again as a distraction. Which worked brilliantly as the man started trying to loosen around him in favor of wanting to thrust up into his mouth. He had become quite better at blow jobs over the months so it was an expected reaction. One that had his muscles relaxing enough to the point that Ron could start moving his fingers in and out of him without concern for pain. 

  
“Ronnn….” Harry started to mewl. 

  
Letting his friend's cock fall from his mouth Ron withdrew his fingers at the sound, and tugged a little rougher on his scrotum causing Harry to arch up and look down. “Shut up!” he hissed not releasing his balls. “Want mum busting in here asking if you're sick or having more nightmares?”

  
“Okay okay okay,” Harry grumbled, throwing his head back against the pillow like he had just been denied a slice of treacle tart. 

  
Shaking his head in a mixture of disapproval and amusement, the redhead moved forward and scooted back fully onto his knees. Bending his friend’s legs a little, and lining himself up at his entrance which was opening and closing for him. Yet another sight Ron loved to watch. 

  
Licking his lips Ron watched as he pressed into Harry’s body. Sinking into the familiar tightness making him feel at home again. It always felt like he belonged there no matter when or where they shagged. At this point they had shagged probably near six dozen times. Nothing beat seeing their bodies join together. So much so that he didn’t pay much mind to anything else.

  
Finally forcing himself away from the sight of his cock steadily disappearing into his mate’s ass he saw Harry’s face contorted. Either he was going too fast or he wanted to make those beautiful little noises he loved to hear. Ron paused for a second, and Harry let out a deep breath when he did. Clearly he had needed a moment to adjust, but then he was nodding his head for him to continue. 

  
The entire time, until he was buried up to his balls, Harry’s lips were pinched tightly between his teeth. He couldn’t do it himself, even though he wanted to since his mouth formed the perfect o trying to breathe calmly. For a moment he rested nestled inside him as he gathered himself. He felt brilliant. Better than he had since they left school. 

  
As soon as he withdrew, just the tip of his cock remaining inside, and he started to rock back into him, Harry let out the most drawn out moan he had ever heard. Ron quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. The man’s green eyes fluttered open.

“We have to be quiet remember?” he whispered a little harshly.

  
Harry blinked as if he didn’t remember his location at first before nodding his head quickly in understanding. Ron didn’t remove his hand right away though. He kept it firmly in place as he started a steady pace of thrusting in and out of him. Just to be sure he would be quiet. If anyone walked in on them right now he would be torn between infuriated at having to stop, and wanting to apparate and never return. 

  
Only when he himself was starting to feel the build up of a climax did he drop it in favor of holding himself up again. He hadn’t even wanked in weeks so it felt like it was going to be too much too soon. Somehow he needed to control himself but still he naturally started thrusting into his tight ass harder and harder.

  
Apparently Harry was as built up as him because right when he was about to start panting the man started holding onto his forearms. Rubbing them up and down in his own form of calming manner. Every time he retreated and shoved back in his hands gripped them tightly. In a smug surge of desire to see his control resolve Ron pulled out completely and drove his hard length into him again with all his strength. 

  
Harry’s eyes blew wide, he arched, and he squeaked. “Oh Merlin Ron I…Ron I...” he started to moan.

  
Ron silenced him with a kiss. Not hard or deep, but pressure enough the bloke couldn’t speak. At least it seemed to satisfy him because he started moving their lips together until his hands were caressing the sides of his face and neck. Then Harry started tensing all around him to the point he started to shake a little. Holding him as tight as he possibly could, and his ass threatening to squeeze shut on him. Their lips stuck together like a sticking charm the entire time.

  
Shifting his weight he scrambled to grab Harry’s hardness and begin pumping him in desperation. He could tell he was so close. Ron wanted to see him, feel him going over as he crashed into the wall of his orgasm. Harry clacked their teeth together due to the force he also held onto his neck with. He knew he was going to have indentions, and the redhead was sure he would have cried out loud as he came if they weren’t kissing. 

  
Every pulse of the cock in his hand layering his hand in come told him that. It was sweet satisfaction and torture feeling the man unraveling beneath him. Despite what it did for his own climax which was dangerously close. Watching Harry as he continued to be stuffed with his cock took his full attention because it was down right fucking beautiful. 

  
Especially when Harry broke their kiss and leaned his head back for a large lungful of fresh air. Ron wasn’t sure what possessed him, but he brought his cum coated hand up between their faces. Harry looked at him, albeit through a little haze, without any curiosity. Instead it was something else he couldn’t place. 

  
Slowly Ron dragged his fingertips across his friends lips and down his chin. Letting them linger long enough for his seed to drip off his hand little by little and onto his face. Harry parted his lips slightly and the redhead watched some of it trickle into his mouth. 

  
Leaning forward Ron sucked on the top of his own hand even though it seemed weird. It was the only thing separating their lips and it was covered with Harry. That was until his seed was all gone and he could take it no longer. Moving his wet hand off to the side of his face to his jawline, continuing on down to caress his neck and chest with it, he let their lips reconnect. The taste of him on him. Like a double serving of the man.

  
It caused him to pick up speed again. The arousal overpowering breathing, tasting, and feeling him all at once. Enough so that he snapped his hips forward until Harry was practically bent in half so he could mount him. Driving his cock into him over and over again without restraint. All the while Harry simply continued to hold onto his neck as he thrust into him with abandonment apparently content in his perfect little lusty cloud. Happy to let him use him for his own pleasure. 

  
Ron leaned down to rest their foreheads together as his hips continued to bounce roughly paired with his grunts. Breathing together hotly in each other's faces and with a hoarse croak all of the feelings inside him spilled over a barrier as Ron came deep inside him. He tried desperately to remain as quiet as possible. For him though it was because he just wanted to hear their heavy pants and soft suppressed groans mingling in the small space. Enjoying the moment. It felt meaningful. Powerful. 

  
The redhead continued to milk the moment for as long as possible as they took to snogging lazily into the afterglow of sex. His cock twitching with the last of his seed leaking out of him at a much easier and less intense pace. Unlike the explosion he had felt leave him hardly a minute ago. Now it felt like he could stay sheathed inside the man forever and be happy. A warm fuzzy feeling consuming every bit of him inside and out. 

  
Much to his protest, eventually it came to a natural end. Harry relaxing spent below him with no energy left, his eyes closed in bliss almost as if he would fall asleep as they were. Ron closed his own feeling of loss already and reluctantly forced himself to slide off onto the sheets beside him on his small bed. He looked up at the cracked wooden ceiling hardly half a second before rolling over and closing his eyes again.

  
Wrapping an arm around Harry’s cum covered stomach he sighed, and he felt Harry do the same. He loved holding him, but they wouldn’t stay like this for long. When they cuddled afterwards they never really did. Why Ron always tried not to think about, but being at the Burrow the time would be cut even shorter for a very obvious reason. The fear of his parents or anyone finding out what they did together was too great to risk getting caught. Shagging at all had been high risk.

  
What would they tell them if they were discovered? How they were best mates that had been fooling around for nearly a year. That they were just experimenting and liked to shag each other so why not? Somehow he knew that wouldn’t be believed, then again he didn’t even know if he could believe it himself anymore


	5. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Is this some form of sickly sweet angst? Is that a possible combo? I was looking forward to this scene but it ended up feeling incredibly fluffy. Then again I’m not a fluff expert. Just started….giving me the feels or something. Imagine the Grinch withering on the ground under the pressure of starting to feel feelings. That was me during this LOL 
> 
> I also twisted canon words around some to both not be exactly the same and to better suit the fic/my scene. I’m not sure I did any good on it but hopefully it passes as tolerable!

October 2, 1997

“I’m going to go grab us more food,” Hermione sighed, picking up her bag from the table. “I’m not sure I will find much more in the forest so I’m…....I’m going to try the local village also. Merlin I hate it but….”

  
“But we don’t have much choice?” Harry finished for her as she twisted, and turned her bag with nervous energy. 

  
“Right,” she said sadly. Her expression was very worn. Tired and defeated. Ron knew she didn’t want to steal, but there really was no other option besides starving at this point. “Okay,” Hermione said, seeming to gather herself. “I will be back shortly? Give me three hours, and if I’m not back then you can come looking for me. If you don’t find me on the first go around…”

  
“Leave without you right away. We know we know we know,” Ron said rolling his eyes like that was even a possibility they would entertain. The witch seemed satisfied though because she left the tent with a nod and started out. He sure hoped she would find something. Maybe even have the courage to forgo the forest completely, and just head straight to the market. 

  
They both followed and watched the witch walk off until she was no longer visible. “Think she will get anything good?” Harry asked as if he was doubtful that she would be able to get past her moral barrier of stealing from the muggles. Then again if she was capable of obliviating her parents Ron didn’t see how she would be okay with them going hungry. It was just some food.

  
“I’m just hoping she goes to the bloody market. I’m starving,” he half complained.

  
“I know. We all are,” Harry said rubbing his forehead like the whole thing gave him a headache. Either that, or was his scar, and the locket.

  
Ron turned around and walked over to the body of water they were near. He didn’t fancy asking the bloke about that issue right now. Voldermort and horcruxes were not something he wanted to think about. Then again he didn’t want to focus on his belly rumbling either. 

  
Instead he chose to just look out across the lake. It wasn’t a very large one, but the way the half cloudy sky reflected on the blue water as it rippled lightly made up for the size with beauty. Green mountains that surrounded them were starting to fade to a dull color as the weather changed to autumn, and the trees along the bank they occupied were rich in yellow and almost orange leaves. However the weather didn’t dim the beauty.

  
Wondering where his family was, and what they were all doing he tried imagining the look of the Burrow as it changed colors also. He was sure they were all safe, but it didn’t stop the worry that rested inside him. Then again since they invaded the Ministry, and got the locket almost everything felt like a worry. 

  
Harry, out of nowhere, squeezed his hand which grabbed his attention. “They will be fine Ron,” he said, clearly trying to reassure him. “They are all brilliant. You know they can hold their own even if anyone does find them. Which they won’t of course.” 

  
Ron only squeezed his hand in return. It was comforting. Like his family was right there with him, and he felt a little more at home. A little more at ease. They didn’t often get these moments anymore. Stress of the war, being on the run, Hermione always around them. It just wasn’t something he got to think about often or act on when he did. 

  
He didn’t know what to think about it, them, anyways. Ever since that night in his room thinking of what basically their relationship was had his insides twisting like after the first time they shagged. Although this time there was a reason that wasn’t just confused sexuality. One he still tried to pretend wasn’t there. It was difficult sometimes though.

  
For a while they simply stood there hand in hand by the water as he tried to forget about the war. Which was nearly impossible since he could practically feel the locket's energy around Harry’s neck. It was a vile thing that tried to distract him in the most unpleasant way no matter who was wearing it. When he wore it though it made him want to claw at his neck to get it off. 

  
“Can you take it off? Just for a bit?” Ron asked hopefully. He knew everyone wanted to keep it close so it wouldn’t go missing again, but surely it wasn’t going to just up and vanish. It had sat at Grimmauld Place long enough after all. Surely it could survive a little while by a nearby tree. 

  
Harry didn’t take it off right away. Out of all of them he wanted to keep it close the most. Still reluctantly he let go of his hand, and slipped it over his head. Ron sighed a breath of relief as he went, and sat it at the bottom of the tree beside the tent. He didn’t know if Harry was going to come back, which was bittersweet, but at least it suddenly felt a little lighter around him. Marginally. 

  
Without realizing it the redhead inhaled and exhaled heavily feeling Harry’s fingers intertwine with his again. It felt even better than before with no dark magic between them, and now all he wanted was a hug. A refreshing sense of good that was impossible to find anymore. 

  
Perhaps it was obvious what he needed, or maybe the other bloke needed it too, because he didn’t even have to be the one to make the first move to get it. Harry encouraged him to turn, and face him with a light tug that broke his gaze away from the sun. It would be close to dusk around the time Hermione got back. 

  
Ron felt weak looking into Harry’s green eyes. They weren’t as vibrant as normal, and they held a sad cast on them. He knew his own were probably as tired looking as Hermione’s. The whole bloody hunt so far was long, and down right exhausting. It didn’t seem like it would ever end. Maybe it wouldn’t, and they would be stuck in this constant state of uncertainty forever. 

  
Grabbing Harry’s other hand he brought both their joined hands up between their chests. Kissing him long and lightly. His friend's full lips were like a cool drink of water filling him up. It was exactly what he needed. Harry seemed to agree the way his lips managed to almost cling to him, seemingly disappointed when he finally broke the seal. 

  
“I need you Harry,” Ron whispered almost like it was shameful to admit, resting their foreheads together. He loved the action because it felt like he could express things when he couldn't find it in him to say more. The last thing he wanted right now was what was sure to be a love confession on his end that carried the possibility of destroying their friendship. Harry could just take the words, and actions how he wanted. 

  
Apparently the other man took the words as a reason to kiss him again. Not that he was complaining one little bit. It was much more satisfying to something mentally in him more than physically now. Each time he savoured the moment just in case it all came crashing to a halt like it was sure to one day.

  
What started out as a light tender snog with their mouths opening, and closing for one another, slowly turned into something more heated. Despite the few stolen kisses they had shared it felt like they, or he, had been deprived. Ron dipped his tongue past Harry’s lips as they slid together, their breathing growing hot and heavy until they were holding each other's faces in their hands. Almost as if scared the other would disappear. 

  
They only parted long enough to raise their arms up, and rid themselves of their shirts. It was growing too stuffy under them. Even in the cooler crisp air that was present despite the sunlight. Plus Ron just wanted to feel all of him, so he pulled him closer as soon as the offending articles of clothing were tossed to the side and they resumed their snogging. 

  
Snogging didn’t last much long though. Harry titled his head away exposing his neck which Ron took to kissing instead. He wanted desperately to suck on his skin, but he didn’t want to risk leaving marks right now. So he just licked up and down his jugular, tracing it and his jawline back to his ear. Then peppering the wet trail with long light kisses. 

  
Harry groaned, and it sent an absurd amount of vibration down to his erection that had been steadily growing. The bloke pulled his face a little closer into his neck by holding the back of his head, but his grip quickly lessened. Which Ron figured was a good thing because he had been about ready to bite down on him despite it being a bad idea. They would forget to heal it like they sometimes had done and Hermione would notice right away. 

  
“Wait,” the other Gryffindor said, causing him to stop enjoying his meal and look at him. “Do you want to go into the tent?” he asked. “I don't know about you, but I don’t exactly want scraps from all the rocks or covered in dirt. Hermione’s the only one good with healing spells, and Merlin knows I’d be in for questioning and her mothering. Plus I’m going to be annoyed if I have to dip in that cold ass lake to get clean.” 

  
Harry gestured to the leaf scattered ground and body of water to their right, but Ron shook his head. He wanted to enjoy the view. All of it. Make a beautiful memory whereas the tent already held so much unhappiness that it was a mood killer. 

  
“No,” he said right away, but he had to admit Harry had a point. Looking around for a quick idea he spotted their shirts and grabbed one along with his wand. Waving it over the piece of fabric he transfigured it into a decent sized cushion. 

  
Throwing it onto the ground Ron went ahead and slid out of his trousers and pants before sitting down onto the square softness. He patted his naked thigh. “Coming?” he asked, but the raven hair man rolled his eyes with a grin. Ron realized the double meaning behind the word causing him to roll his own eyes. “Are you going to join me down here or not?” he asked plainly. “If not I’m putting my bloody trousers back on. My legs are cold.” 

  
Harry snorted and Ron’s mouth dried out watching as he started taking off the rest of his clothing. Revealing his long legs, and the dark hair that traveled down to the bush that his hardened cock was jutting out from. His balls swayed with it’s light bob as he kicked the trousers off his feet. They both started stroking themselves at the same time, but the redhead stilled his own movement as the man walked over him. 

  
There was just hardly enough room for the bloke to rest his knees on either side of him as he straddled his lap. His bare ass warmed his legs instantly. Their cocks bumping into each other caused a shock of pleasure that made it jump.

  
Ron stroked the other man’s erection once to gather the precum, but it wasn’t nearly enough for what they needed. Even though all it would take was an accio of their wands he was happy to bring his hand up between them, holding out the first three fingers on his right hand for Harry to suck on and get wet. When he didn’t right away, and just kept looking at him he raised his eyebrows and his face dropped a little wondering what he wanted to do then. 

  
As soon as the expression formed though Harry grabbed his wrist and wrapped his lips around them. Coating them in saliva by swirling his tongue all around, making sure to give each finger attention. Sucking hard on all, and providing a generous amount of fluid for him to work with.

  
Finally he had to withdraw them from Harry’s mouth with a pop since Harry was apparently having too much fun with the simple task considering he didn’t seem to want to let go. To satisfy him quickly Ron reached his hand around his still firm perky bum, despite their lack of nutrients, and started working his fingers inside his tight hole one by one until he was a whiny mess wiggling on his lap. He brought his hand back between them and spat in his hand. Slicking his cock up with it a few times.

  
“Ready?” Ron asked for some reason, staring absentmindedly into his lusty eyes. Harry always asked when he was on top but he felt the need to this time.

  
Harry lifted himself up, and leaned in to hum against his lips. “Definitely…..”

  
Taking a deep breath to prepare himself for what he knew for sure going to be the most mentally intimate shag of his life he took his cock and moved it under his ass. Rubbing the swollen head of it against Harry’s loosened opening. The man beared down against it a few times, seeming to tease himself before dropping some of his body weight allowing it to slip inside. 

  
Ron groaned tightly as Harry lowered himself down onto his cock inch by inch. Wrapping his arms around the small of his back the redhead held him closer as he continued the journey until he was fully seated. He felt himself twitch inside the heat, bumping against his inner walls and it caused the bloke to tighten his muscles around him.

  
They sat like that for a second before Harry slowly started to rock back and forth on him. Slowly enough Ron thought they would fuck forever, and he didn’t mind it one bloody bit. He just encouraged him along by letting his arms drop lazily behind his bum which fit into them perfectly each time he moved back. 

  
The only time Ron moved his hands was after Harry took to fully sliding up and down his shaft quicker. He brought them up enough to hold onto the top of his shoulders so he could help lower the man harder onto him like he clearly wanted. Harry moved faster and impaled himself over and over again until they were both breathless. Only then did the other man slow down, and just enjoy the calmer seconds with heavy kisses. 

  
The position wasn’t as easy as the redhead had thought it would be. If he had a back rest it would have been better, but they had to make do. And that they did because they kept alternating between shagging fast and slow while snogging again. The beautiful glide of Harry’s smooth channel tight around him the whole time.

  
“Merlin Ron. I’ve missed this,” his best mate breathed parting their lips as he continued to roll his hips like a wave. “Oh….oh fucking hell I’ve missed this.” 

  
“Mhmm me too,” the redhead moaned, and then suddenly his mind was trying to get him to say the thing he dreaded. It was so hard not to. They were so close. As close as they ever could be with them connected. The words were on the tip of his tongue.

  
“I….I….” Ron let out a deep panting breath alternating looking at him directly, and his black hair flipping around his forehead as if scared his eyes would drag the statement out. Even half looking at them they tried. “I lo….lo…” he choked on the words. Right there, and he almost said it until Harry smashed their lips together silencing him. He wondered if it was intentionally, and if the man was returning his feelings without saying so. Or if it was just an unmeaningful decision. It was scary to think he might as much as it was to think he didn’t. 

  
Ron watched in fascination as Harry bit his own lip, and closed his eyes shut in concentration. He started dropping his body weight down onto his stiff cock again that was aching at this point. His grip slackened on his neck, and instinctively the redhead grabbed his back and shoulder to help hold him steady as he lifted himself up and down. Each time a whimper now left him as he no doubt found the angle to rub against his hidden bundle of nerves.

  
His body wanted to thrust up into him, but he couldn’t from his sitting position on the ground. He was stuck letting Harry control their orgasms as it built in his chest and balls. It gave him nothing but energy and time though to watch him work. Bouncing up and down beautifully on his long shaft, never even coming close to completely coming off him. 

  
Harry then made a hurried grab for his own cock. Almost as if in a panic need for the last amount of friction to come undone. It caused more of his body weight to fall into his arms. It caused his left arm, still a bit sore at times from being splinched, to throb. The pain was worth it though as Harry practically threw himself down onto his iron hard rod with incredible enthusiasm. Pumping himself only a few times until he came with a tight mewl. “Ronnnn….” 

  
Ron let out heavy puffs of air, filled with excitement and pleasure, as he watched the ropes of white cum spurting out of Harry’s angry red crown. Littering his rapidly rising and falling freckled chest. It caused him to encourage the man down into his lap even harder, harder, and harder until he felt his own orgasm unleashing like an earth shaking bomb of thunder.

  
That was when Ron let go of Harry’s body entirely, and grabbed his face instead. Crashing their lips together as if he had no choice, even though he couldn’t breathe. His nostrils couldn’t bring in enough air at all but it wasn’t worth letting go. Only his cock pulsing in the distant heat along with spark after spark under his skin told him he was still coming. An absurd amount of seed probably coating his insides.

  
It was so intense and emotionally satisfying kissing him in that moment that Ron started to naturally fall backwards in a daze, feeling like he was floating on a cloud. Harry grabbed his shoulders, and leaned the opposite direction to keep them upright though. His head felt dizzy from either the lack of oxygen or his mental barrier finally snapping. He loved the bloke so fucking much it was down right stupid. Stupid because it was wrong, but there was no longer a single doubt in his mind he loved his best mate.

  
Ron only vaguely registered his orgasm ending. He was so lost in the softness of Harry’s lips, the feeling of their bodies pressed together, and how much he was realizing he loved him to pay attention to it. When his neck started lacking stability to kiss him properly was when he felt Harry’s lips slowly leave his, causing his head to drop back a little. It left him panting heavily, only partially grateful for the air. He tried blinking his eyes open to regain focus on the present. Leaves and emptying branches came into view above him, a faded blue sky peaking through it all.

  
Then Harry buried his own face into the crook of his neck. Still sitting on him with his cock nestled deep inside his body like it was grounding them both. No one cried, but the tears felt right on the edge. Ron stared off into the sky trying to calm himself from a surge of emotions while he held onto the back of Harry’s head. He rubbed soothing circles on the small of his back the whole time. It felt like enough, but also like he would never get enough. 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Ron glared at the curtain separating him from Harry and Hermione. Sure he had been asleep, but something so crucial how could they not be including him? He was the one wearing the bloody locket after all. If there was a break in trying to destroy it wouldn’t they want to get it off of him as soon as possible?

  
Apparently not. There was no doubt they already thought he was mental. Off his rocker. Then again maybe he was. As the months were dragging on what else was he suppose to be when he was hold up in a stupid tent constantly on the move with some evil hunk of metal lingering about. His best mate, always hanging close on Hermione was no help either. It was like he was the outcast of the three of them just tagging along. 

  
He hardly mattered. Harry was Harry and Hermione was the brains. Constantly getting his attention full focus. Smiles and praise. It pissed Ron off to no end for so many reasons.

  
Harry was HIS best mate, not hers. Hermione was supposedly the one crushing on him all this time so shouldn’t her attention be on him? Instead the both of them constantly talking closely together. If anything he was supposed to be with the witch. That’s what seven years of nagging and bickering was supposed to be leading up to, despite it being annoying as hell. 

  
Ron wasn’t sure who his jealousy was directed. At Harry for not being as gay as he claimed considering how much he enjoyed his sister, and now Hermione all up on him. It might just as well be to both of them. Clearly he had everything wrong. Everything in his past, and entire life, was wrong. The worst of which was before his eyes. Always around him reminding him he wasn’t bloody good enough for anyone.

  
Hermione had always just tolerated him, only ever really being Harry’s real friend. To her he was just down right dumb. Then there was Harry himself. Harry had always just let him tag along. Attached himself to him since he was the first person seeming to care about him at all, other than Hagrid in his life. There wasn’t even a possibility the bloke felt the way he did now. At all. They were just best mates that snogged and had sex. 

  
That was the way it had been the last year after all. As he himself had once said a mouth was a mouth and a shag was a shag. He hadn’t actually believed it at the time, but apparently he should have. Harry did. 

  
Again he was just the stupid side kick trailing along behind them both and whatever they were doing in their lives. A surge of anger shot through him at the realization of what he was. What they were without him, and he flicked open the deluminator to steal the lights. It was the only thing that would get their bloody attention. He was right when their little whispers went silent. 

  
Ron walked around the curtain in front of the table and allowed the lights to return. They both just looked at him as if he had interrupted something important. Which he clearly had the way they were hunched over the table together. Hermione's hands were laid out on a book, and Harry’s were in front of it. He wondered if they had been holding hands as they had their lovely little discussion without him. His skin prickled with irritation.

  
“Uh… is something wrong?” Harry asked him when he didn’t say anything, while Hermione just looked at him confused. 

  
Ron narrowed his eyes at them. “Guess you don’t find me important enough to include in your little discoveries together do you? Would I be interrupting your precious time?”

  
Harry furrowed his brow. “What?” he asked at the same time Hermione spoke.

  
“We only just figured it out,” Hermione was saying, and they shot each other a look for talking over each other causing Ron to snarl. Trust Hermione to have something to validate their conversation while Harry wouldn’t know what to say.

  
“We thought you were asleep,” Hermione said almost convincingly looking back at him. Her brown eyes seemed truthful.

  
Ron huffed nastily though. “Exactly. You two just love it when I’m asleep don’t you? Out of your way aren’t I?” 

  
Harry turned to face him fully on the bench looking annoyed. “You have some kind of problem?” he asked firmly like McGonagall would when they questioned her decisions.

  
“Yea. Yea I do,” the redhead said back bitterly and uncaring. “I thought I fucking knew you, and you,” he said eyeing Hermione up and down distastefully like he had never seen her. She was beautiful. A witch. Only he liked witches. Harry shouldn’t be sneaking around with her. “Thought I knew what you wanted to. Guess I was wrong about you both. Hmm Harry?” he said looking back to the raven haired man. Supposed best mate. “Still like sneaking around isn’t that right….mate.” 

  
That caused Harry’s eyes to widen and eyebrows to raise. He stood up along with them. “What….in the fucking HELL is your problem Ron?”

  
“I see the way you two spend time together! I can hear you talking! I’m still here, you know!” he shouted with a wild gesture. 

  
“Of course you are!” Hermione said loudly like he couldn’t hear her. When in reality she did seem a bit distant to him despite now standing only a few feet away. 

  
“Tired of being here or something?” Harry asked dramatically as if he was stupid. “Did you think this was going to be a happy little adventure? Cheerful? Over and done with by Christmas? Finding a horcrux every other week and killing him easily? Like people haven’t been trying the last two fucking decades?” 

  
“I thought you knew what you were doing Harry! I didn't sign up to be used!” the redhead spat angrily. He was tired of being used by everyone from every angle everywhere. 

  
Harry's eyes grew like an emerald fire, and he advanced on him confidently. Unlike their disagreements and arguments before, this time the bloke actually had the audacity to shove him, and Ron felt like a volcano was about to blow when he shoved him back. It filled him with incredible satisfaction as he did it. Harry grabbed a hold of his shirt in his fist before he could be moved too far away, and pushed at him harder again, not letting go. He only let one hand go, probably to hit him, but Ron easily pushed him away with all the strength he had when his grip lessened.

  
His supposed friend stumbled back almost acceptingly, and made a frustrated noise looking tense like he was forcing himself not to do anything. Ron didn't know why. He wanted to finally have it out with the bloke. Harry deserved it in his mind.

  
“Go!” Harry yelled at him moving even further back, breathing heavily with his own fuming anger starting to pace. “Go on! Leave then!” he waved a hand at the tent opening. “No one is making you stay! Go on! Leave!” he yelled again. 

  
“You know I will. You two have fun together,” the redhead said lowly, no longer caring about anything. Going over he grabbed his bag from beside his cot. Snatching it from the floor as he started out to leave. It would be a blessing to leave all this bullshit behind him. 

  
“You can’t leave Ron!” Hermione said in a distressed voice.

  
“Well I'm done being a third wheel while you two cuddle about behind my back…” he snapped back at her. 

  
“What? No! No that’s nothing Ron! That’s wrong! It’s not like that I swear! Why would you think that?” Hermione started to cry. 

  
When he turned to look at her her tears hurt him, but Harry’s emotionless face hurt him more. At least Hermione faked caring about him. She didn't deserve to be around this, him, either. 

  
“You,” he snapped again at the witch, pointing to the ground wanting her answer right away. “Are you coming or are you staying?”. Hermione looked between him and Harry far too many times dwindling any patience he had had down to none. “I get it,” he said under his breath, exiting the tent with an angry throw of the flap. 

  
Right away he heard the fabric rustling again, and footsteps running up behind him but he didn't turn around. He wanted nothing more than to get away from the two of them. From the whole stupid mess he has found himself in. They didn't need him anyways. 

  
“Ron, just take it off,” Hermione said far too closely, and as soon as he felt her fingers graze his jacket he yanked his arm away with a growl. “Ron you wouldn’t be saying any of this if you hadn't been wearing the locket all day. Take it off please!” she pleaded desperately. 

  
He could hear her crying still following him, but if she wanted to cry she could run back to Harry. That's where she wanted to be after all. They wanted each other for everything. Not him. 

  
“RONALD!” Hermione begged him loudly through sobs, and it was finally enough to stop him in his tracks. The pulse around his neck reminded him what he had been carrying around for them for what seemed like day after day. He didn’t want the bloody locket anyways. It was part of the whole problem. 

  
Pulling it over his head roughly he threw it to the ground with all the anger he felt. Glaring at her tear streaked face before taking one final look at the tent that Harry still resided in. Hurt replacing anger. 

  
“Ron…..please don’t….” her words softer, but it was all he heard as he apparated away.


	6. Dead Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Working around and with canon scenes sucks ass! I will never ever EVER do it again. This chapter is short because of that even though it took a fucking week. As much as I wanted to scrap it there are two scenes here that are crucial in my opinion! It’s understandable if you hate this chapter because I do too. Hate. I cried and I hate it and I have received some pretty shitty comments. I blame it being from another persons POV.

May 2, 1998

Hearing the broomsticks, and fangs clattering to the floor didn’t drown out the sound of Hermione’s running feet or the heartbeat in his ears. He knew it was coming. It had been hovering in the air around them, but it still caused him to internally panic slightly. The action had long been building somewhere inside them both. However Ron wasn’t sure he wanted it especially now that it was about to. 

  
It was only confirmed he didn’t when it happened. The kiss was awkward. Even more awkward than he had originally imagined because it just felt wrong on so many levels. Not even just because he was thinking of Harry the entire time. 

  
Still despite himself he tried to return the kiss, but his lips refused to cooperate. They left his facial muscles tense. Holding her face to try and encourage himself more didn’t help. Ron didn’t even know why he was trying. Did he have to satisfy that curiosity? Satisfy her curiosity? Or was he hoping for something to take Harry’s place?

  
Hermione got the message though through his unvocalized response, and slowly stopped kissing him when she felt the stiffness of his body. She only pulled maybe an inch away when she did though. Her deep brown eyes looked at him with an expression he couldn't, and probably didn’t want to read. He closed his eyes, hating himself for his feelings, and shook his head much to his own defeat. Carefully he guided her arms off of his neck needing air and regretting the action completely. 

  
“I…..I can’t do this Mione. I can't. I’m sorry I just…” he stumbled over words trying to find the right ones without saying too much. Even if they weren’t the mix of battle he wasn’t sure he would be able to find the words.

  
The witch’s face held sadness, and a hint of regret aside from a flushed and tired look. However when she spoke it was without hurt. “I know. I see the way you look at him,” she said solemnly, stepping away a little but never dropping his hands.

  
Ron blushed something fierce, and tried not to avert his gaze. If he did he knew it would be a give anything away. The witch would read it in a heartbeat. No one knew of his and Harry’s “not actually a relationship” relationship, and he thought they had done a damn well good job of keeping it unknown this whole time. Of course of everyone it would be Hermione to somehow figure it out. 

  
“I’ve loved you so long though,” she continued, pushing some of the curled hair sticking to her forehead behind her ear. “... and you two have never said anything so...I thought….I just….I had to be sure. I’ve loved you so long I had to.” 

  
Ron nodded his head mutely in understanding, not knowing how to respond. He had never said he wanted the house elves to be free either until now either. Nor had he been able to confess he had made the biggest mistake of his life, and was basically undeserving of her and Harry’s friendship by abandoning them in the middle of a forest in a time they needed him until a day after he returned to them. All he had managed was a desperate I’m sorry at first. Maybe the time would never come to tell Harry he loved him, but it didn’t mean his feelings weren’t there. 

  
“Do you actually love him?” Hermione asked him with a pointed look that seemed to question his heart and motivates. Her tone prickled his skin at the same time something shattered in the kitchen as the elves continued out of the door.

  
“Of course I love him!” he snapped back unnecessarily thanks to already being on edge from everything. Being questioned by one of his closest friends felt like an insult. All he had done for what seemed to be months as he searched from them across the country was go over every moment of both their friendships. Their moments together individually and as a trio. What he loved, and had done wrong every step of his life until he had heard of her voice. Granted he had thought he was going mental at the time. 

  
Hermione raised her eyebrows at him which caused his face to turn even redder, if possible, realizing he had outed himself so bluntly. With everything happening, and almost two years of built up emotion on the subject he had just been unable to restrain himself in his stressed state. He was hot, sticky,, and worried with guilt lacing it all no matter how many times he apologized to them both.

  
“Does he love you?” the witch asked him, but Ron only chewed on his cheek instead of responding not wanting to say anything more. Of course with Hermione he didn’t have to. “Oh Ron. You haven't told him?” her voice held pity and disappointment he didn’t want to hear.

  
“Let’s just focus on winning the war first yea?” he said, a little rougher than he meant trying to deflect and end the conversation. It wasn't the time or the place anyways. People were dying and they needed them. His family, Harry, their friends. Everyone on the light side needed them.

  
Thankfully Hermione was satisfied with his response because with a small innocent kiss to the cheek she started to tug him back up the stairs to the rest of the battle. Ron didn’t have to be encouraged to run back though. In fact he ended up being the one to tug her behind him as he took the steps two at a time. He only hoped it wouldn’t take much to find Harry because the castle was an out right wreck. People were everywhere, and curses were flying all around them. 

  
If they hadn’t found an alcove to duck into, and break open the Marauders map he doubted they would have ever been able to find him. Especially considering he ended up being all the way up on the seventh floor, pacing back and forth before his dot disappeared. Their timing had been more than lucky so Ron didn’t even give Hermione time to think. He took off in a run while trying to deflect spells, and throwing up the occasional shield for someone else he saw struggling. The main and only goal was reaching Harry.

  
“Where….where are you….going?” Hermione asked when she caught up beside him out of breath. 

  
Ron stunned a death eater above them as he started up the second flight of stairs. “Room of Requirement,” he breathed out of happiness knowing where Harry was going instead of having no clue what they were doing. “It doesn’t show up on the map!” 

  
He thought he heard something along the lines of her saying ‘bloody brilliant’, but there was too much noise to actually know or not. They had six more flights of stairs to make it up, and each step was feeling like twenty. The journey seemed to take longer than it would have if he was weighed down with a full bookbag while being forced to climb up to a divination class paired with Snape teaching potions again. 

  
Once they finally reached the hidden room though, and were granted permission inside, really the rest of the battle went by in a blur for him. It took a few minutes to find their friend in between mountains and mountains of junk stacked next to each other. Mountains that towered all the way up to the ceiling. 

  
The only thing that had helped lead their way to him was the low sound of voices amongst everything. Seeing him standing so carelessly at the three Slytherin's wand points tipped him and Hermione over the edge in a panic not knowing what was happening. They shot off their own disarming spells, or in his case curses, as Harry took off after something. What he didn’t see as he chased after the other three men.

  
Then the Room of Requirement quickly turned into a room fueled by anger and hate. Even complete with fire thanks to an incompetent's Crabbe. He paid for his ignorance with his life though, and although he was perfectly content to let Malfoy and Goyle pay equally for their actions, Harry was above their deaths. Much to his personal disagreement he still had followed the man’s lead. It was only thanks to them, or actually just Harry’s humbleness, that Malfoy and Goyle escaped by the skin of their noses just as they did.

  
All the anger and hate melted away in the room though, along with its contents, when the doors slammed shut just in time. Containing the incomparable amount of rage from part of Voldemort's soul lashing out at them through the fiendfrye as another horcrux was destroyed. Loud and shaking with only Hogwarts walls saving them from the wrath of it. Hogwarts magic couldn’t save everyone though, and he would have gladly faced the fire all over again with what happened next. 

  
The crash of stone, and screams from down the hall of his family proved that as Fred was crushed beneath the collapsing ceiling. That sight was truly unregistrable to him. Fred’s, no doubt immediate, death filled him with a rage that rivaled Voldemort's himself. How he managed to be led away from the stone pile hiding his dead brother, and crying family by Hermione was beyond him. Something along the lines of focus were said in the background. Still all he really wanted to do was fight for revenge.

  
Fred’s death was at the forefront of his mind as they made the trip to the Shrieking Shack. It felt quick but pointless. The creaking swaying wood building was so unlike everything else that was happening. Aside from the calm words exchanged in the room by Snape and Voldemort, it was disturbingly quiet compared to the castle. It gave him time to hear his thoughts, but his head couldn’t wrap around any of them considering they were a jumbled mess.

  
The three of them hiding crouched in a corner under the invisibility cloak was one of the oddest and most confused places he had been in in a long time. They only listened to the story unfolding until Snape was attacked and Voldemort left. Leaving them to watch Snape die. Harry revealed them and neither he or Hermione protested. Their old professor was no doubt going to die with the snake's venom rushing through him, and Voldemort left him to do so now that he assumed himself to be the owner of the most powerful wand.

  
Even though it was a man they truly loathed, the man that had bullied them since their first day at the castle as kids, he was still someone that had been a constant presence in their lives. The feelings were mixed, especially as instead of begging for them to save his life he simply begged and begged for Harry to take his tears like a truly desperate man. There was something unsettling about the scene especially as Harry obliged, and it had Ron watching him do so with something he realized was akin to sympathy. 

  
The uneasy silence of the Shrieking Shack followed them on as they left their dead professor behind. Even all the way back into the castle. It was silent outside the sobs and cries of pain. Harry insisted that he visit Dumbledore's office alone as Snape said. Ron didn’t even put up a fight on the matter. It was just Dumbledore’s office, and seeing his family broken around Fred’s body called for his full attention. Everything else fading into the background feeling he needed to be with them. 

  
His mum was crying endlessly, and Ginny’s face was buried in her hands. Then there was George. Seeing him was the worst of all. Even worse than seeing Fred’s lifeless body. George was doubled over and completely beyond himself in an emotional pain. Easily more unbearable than many of those surrounding them in the Great Hall hit with curses. It was horrible to witness the suffering of his brother. Fred was like the other half of him and while he lost a brother George lost something more. 

  
Trying to comfort them all, his dad allowed George to shove him. Instead going to hug Ginny and then his mum. Charlie, Bill and Percy simply stood beside them all, but Ron paid them not nearly as much mind since they seemed to be gathered. He however sunk to his knees, accepting George’s pushes away until he gave in and accepted his hold. His brother wouldn’t move from being bent over his twins' stomachs though. While the twins liked to have their go at him he was closer to him than any of the others. Feeling him shaking and crying at an unbreathable rate caused him to drop his head against his back and begin crying almost just as hard. 

  
That was until the sound of shuffling, and an increased amount of whispers disrupted their mourning. He didn’t know how long it had been, but George’s body had relaxed beneath his arm and forehead at some point into shallow breathing. All he had tried to think of was his brother's breathing. Working to match his own and calm them both until his own tears managed to stop. 

  
Slowly as even his family began moving around them he managed to lift his head to see what was happening. Everyone was shifting around, pushing together and forming a crowd. Getting to his feet along with his mum and Ginny, he and many of the other order members naturally took to maneuvering to the front of them all. Almost like a subconscious move.

  
The reason for the lower layer of distress was obvious seeing the unmasked death eaters slowly, and confidently making their way inside. Everyone on their own side just watched, appearing defeated and almost too tired to fight back. Their small break in the battle seemed to have taken what was left in them, and chucked it out the window. Mentally and physically. 

  
It was when he saw Hagrid carrying a limp form in his large arms that he registered the true severity of their invasion, and his stomach dropped right out of his body. While Ginny threw herself forward with a scream he on the other hand felt numb. Like he was frozen solid, and the world was standing still despite him watching everyone else continue to move around. Pressing closer together as more death eaters flooded the Great Hall, and the pale snake-like man laughing sadistically paved his way through the lot of them with ease.

  
When Voldemort proclaimed Harry dead was when he knew his stomach was still actually in his body because he thought he was going to be sick on the spot. When had he gone to him? How could he go without seeing them first? Why would he go at all? Offering himself up basically counted as suicide. Time had evaporated into nothing without his realizing it as he allowed himself to be consumed by grief. He had all but forgotten about Harry as he focused on his brother. Realizing that he didn’t know how he would ever live with himself. 

  
At that point he felt completely dead inside. He’d lost a brother, more friends than he could count or even knew about yet, and now out of everyone the one person who probably meant the most to him out of everyone. His best friend he shared more with than anyone, was gone. What more was there possible to lose unless George, Ginny, or his mum and dad were taken from him next? 

  
Then something happened as he stared at Hagrid and Harry that caused the battle to break out again in the middle of the mad man’s speech. First he heard and then he could see the centaurs and Grawp thundering towards them. The rest of the death eaters fled into the Great Hall filling it to capacity. Leaving no choice but for them to keep fighting, and he with great strength managed to force Harry’s death to the back of his mind. Using Fred and his death as the anger behind his magic. 

  
It was either a good idea or a bad idea, which he couldn’t tell, but the unforgivable left his tongue with an absurd amount of ease. Every death eater deserved to die worse than anyone else had. There was not a single bit of hesitation in him to kill them anymore. Harry may have been satisfied with stunning and crucio’s, but there wasn’t enough time to simply watch them suffer. They were at the end of the war and it was going to end tonight. For better or worse and it required their all to make it for the better. 

  
Ron didn’t even pay attention to Hermione or where she was. The only thing that eventually got his attention was the flash of magic bouncing off in front of Ginny. Her long red hair waving into his sight with the air. It caused the first wash of worry to shoot through him seeing Bellatrix laughing, but in his own duel he was unable to stop. He was able to get enough of a look to see his mum move in front of her, not that it helped his worry which turned to more fuel for him. 

  
The next look he got was shorter. Only a brief glimpse of the duel she was engaging in with the psychotic witch, which caused him to cast faster and harder, wanting to help. He just couldn’t lose his mum on top of anyone else.

  
As soon as the death eater blew back away from him he was able to look and see Bellatrix’s body on the floor. He relaxed just enough, but moved forward with in panic when he noticed Voldemort's wand pointing at her. Then just when he thought his mum was going to die Voldemort's curse bounced off of her. 

  
Out of thin air Harry appeared near her. His wand up, and silence fell the second everyone noticed. It took him a second to try and process what he was seeing. Adrenaline was coursing through him at an alarming rate as his friend who seemed alive and Voldemort began circling each other. There was no other sound or movement around the room.

  
Seeing them about to duel it out at long last was surreal to him, and surely everyone. Especially the way he registered Hermione gripping his forearm in the first actual ounce of panic he had seen in her the entire battle. The urge to help was strong, but he just knew he had to do it alone no matter how much he hated it. Fear alone from that was absolutely terrifying. He went from believing Harry alive to dead, and alive again all in the course of five minutes. It gave his heart and brain whiplash.

  
Loads of talking was actually happening between the two. None of which he really listened to. All he could do was watch with bated breath. Watch Harry moving over and over again, ready, in a slow circle. Waiting for something to happen, and when their wands erupted with magic Ron’s heart lurched. Apparently he went to move subconsciously, but Hermione’s grip kept him in place. 

  
Then Voldemort fell to the ground simple as could be, just like half the other people he had witnessed fall all night. Just like before, struck with his own killing curse as the Elderwand flew through the air to Harry. Clearly unwilling to defeat him meaning Harry was it’s true master the entire time. 

  
Knowing that he couldn’t be defeated Ron let out a breathless, disbelieving, relief filled laugh. Still his friend kept his wand raised even though he had already caught the other. Seeming to challenge the other death eaters himself just waiting for something else to happen. Nothing did though except the stampeding sound of death eaters starting to flee the castle.

  
As soon as the last left and everyone let the reality sink in, cheers erupted. Echoing around the Great Hall at an incredible level of sound. Only then did Harry finally drop his shoulders and Ron kept his eyes locked on him as he just stood there looking at Voldemort's body. His own heart raced with happiness. It was only when people started closing in on him like the press that his friend moved, quickly spotting them, and began walking over. 

  
While everyone made a move towards him he was by far the quickest. Without thinking Ron threw his arms around Harry’s shoulders, despite there being more than a hundred witnesses. Just like Ginny had done to him last year, and Hermione had done to him earlier. Except he pulled Harry incredibly close and tight into a truly bruising hug. He was so overwhelmed with emotion he didn’t know if he could let go.

  
“Bloody hell Harry,” he choked out trying hard not to cry. “Godric….I never thought I’d see you again.”

  
Harry wrapped his arms around him much slower, and he could feel the slight impression of the bloke nudging his face against his so subtly. Probably, and hopefully, unnoticed by everyone. If he even actually had done it. It was hard to focus on much else than holding him. Ron really just wanted him to kiss his cheek, and tell him it would be okay so he would stop the tears he hadn’t been able to. He didn’t of course, but it didn’t stop him from wanting it. 

  
“Love you too mate,” Harry whispered softly in his ear with breath he thought he would never feel again, and that alone felt comforting enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm going to go cry some more because this was to much damn emotion for my angsty heart to handle.


	7. Enjoying Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not quite as done as I thought. Another chapter spontaneously formed. After this there are only two more chapters and the epilogue left to go! Adding this chapter threw me for a loop a little and felt amazing coming off the last one which I found incredibly difficult. It took me a bit to get back in the groove from all the emotions! Hopefully I was successful! Say bye bye to canon finally!
> 
> Also drunk Ron went a little rogue on me. I’m not sure I’m complaining though lol just a warning.

**September 13, 1998**

“Ron! Get off! Someone’s going to see!” Harry said in a desperate whisper that actually wasn’t so much of a whisper considering he had to talk over the pub music. It hardly mattered though. Most of their friends were off dancing or already as off their asses as he was. Laughing Ron allowed himself to be pushed away.

  
“So?” he was really too happy, and drunk to care about much of anything at all. If Dean could sit in Seamus’s lap and snog each other to death in a booth in front of everyone why couldn’t they? Hermione and George were to busy grinding on each other on the dance floor with Neville and Ginny by their side. He had been surprised to see what a minx Hermione turned into after too much to drink. Ron never would have guessed she had it in her. Now George’s dirty dancing, and roaming hands he definitely knew about.

  
“So?” Harry repeated, catching his attention again. “Do you really want everyone to know about us?” 

  
“What about us?” Ron asked, wiggling his eyebrows hoping for a good answer so he had an excuse to start snogging him like he wanted too. He was wearing a dark muggle t shirt that reminded him of Gryffindor and dark muggle jeans both of which caused his skin to look darker than it actually was in the low light. In his state it reminded him of caramel and all he wanted to do was lick it.

  
Harry just rolled his eyes with a smile though and took a drink of his beer. 

  
“Let’s go dance with them,” he found himself offering randomly despite somewhere knowing how bad they both were at it, and after he said it Harry furrowed his brows seemingly confused as he was for having said it. “It’s dancing or snogging,” Ron said, shrugging and clarifying his point. “Your choice mate.” 

  
“Well I’m not dancing, and we aren’t bloody snogging with everyone around,” he said firmly while taking another drink of his beer. 

  
Ron was feeling far to giddy on the inside. He tossed back the two shots he had left on the counter and grabbed Harry’s hand. Pulling him off the bar stool. He heard him drop his beer on the wood, but the bloke kept moving with him so he kept pulling him along.

  
“What the…” 

  
“You don’t want to snog here so we are going somewhere else,” he smirked glancing back at him, but not long enough to read his expression. If he didn’t want to he wouldn’t be following him so willingly. 

  
They had almost made it to the door, which was the farthest away from the dance floor when someone called out for them. He didn’t care, but Harry pulled them to a stop causing him to groan. Looking to see what the issue was he groaned seeing it was Ginny and Neville. His sibling was wearing clothing far too revealing in his opinion. Short beige shorts and a hot pink tank top. Being the good older brother he was and considering it was Neville with her he had done a good job at ignoring it. Especially the drunker he got and more focused he became on his friend. 

  
“Where….are you two going?” his sister asked, appearing out of breath. Considering all the dancing, alcohol, and catching up to them she probably really was.   
Ron smiled cheerfully at the opportunity to finally rub it in her face. “Somewhere to sn…” 

  
Harry clamped a hand over his mouth before he could finish. “Somewhere to uh...a snack. Yea grab a snack.” 

  
“They serve fish and chips back there. Other stuff I assume,” Neville said pointing back to the bar. “Why don’t you just grab something there. You can’t just leave us in the muggle area mate. You’re the only one out of us that knows anything.” 

  
“There is Mione,” Ron offered up tilting his head out of Harry’s hand. “He just doesn’t….” 

  
“I don’t want an actual meal or anything,” Harry talked over him quickly. “I just...uh I know this great muggle place not far. Small things. Great late night snack stuff….” 

  
“Oi where are we going? I want to come!” George shouted loudly a little ways off coming up to them with a tired looking Hermione following behind them. She had pulled her hair up into some messy bun on top of her head, and she was fanning herself. It caused him to chuckle considering half of it was probably George’s fault 

  
“Yea me too,” Ginny said, straightening up seeming a bit brighter having gained herself despite the sway. 

  
“Bloody hell if muggle places are like this I’m in,” Seamus said, stumbling into Neville’s side knowing him a bit off balance. Dean pulled them both back to a stable position though since they both were having trouble. It was like the laughter was contagious. 

  
Contagious enough that Ron started laughed again. It was made even worse causing him bend over seeing Harry cringe a little before glaring at him out of the corner of his eye. 

  
“Uh...brilliant I uh...um I need to use the loo real quick. Yea? Ron you needed to go?” the man asked, looking at him a little too hard. 

  
Ron tried calming himself down a little so he could think. Despite his intake he didn’t feel the need for a trip to the loo, and he definitely didn’t recall saying so. “Don’t th…umph! Oi my bloody arm mate,” he complained as Harry drug him through the crowd much rougher than he had not even letting him answer.

  
They bumped into a few people who just moved out of their way, and before he knew it Harry was shoving him into the public loo causing him to stumble into the sink. He watched as the man looked down, and under the line of stalls before facing him

  
“You prat! Now look what you’ve done!” he hissed more with worry than anger. 

  
“What? What did I do? I just wanted to snog. You’re the one wanting to take us on a muggle tour,” Ron said in amusement. He wasn’t sure anything could take the smile off his face tonight. It had been five months since the end of the war and they were free. They could laugh, run around, and do anything they wanted just like any other young adults. Harry may still have been getting used to the idea but he was more than ready to take full advantage of that.

  
The bloke exhaled roughly with mild annoyance. “Well you were going to say we snog! In front of everyone! Including your bloody sister and brother!” he said dramatically with a concerned gesture to the door. 

  
Looking up at the dull white ceiling Ron tried to find the downside in that. He was sure there was something, but he couldn’t quite place it. All he could place was every reason he loved the bloke, how his lips felt, the good times they had, how they could do whatever the hell they wanted…

  
Ron sighed dreamily, and then Harry was right in front of him snapping his fingers in front of his face causing him to blink. His eyes were like dark emeralds that were tempting him. Sucking him in enough that Ron just leaned forward and pressed their lips together like he had been wanting. His friend didn’t protest, but he didn’t return the kiss until he slid a hand up to the side of his neck. Then Harry’s tension melted away a little. 

  
He moved their lips together slowly at first. Gently encouraging the bloke’s mind to ease. Licking them with his tongue every time his mouth opened wider to feel all of them. They snogged a lot at home but doing so in public felt even more amazing. It caused him to start coaxing his lips open, and his other hand to move below his armpit. 

  
It didn’t take much more to motivate Harry into snogging him in return. What started out slow and hesitant picked up to an enthusiastic battle of tongues. Their bodies pressed together as Harry rubbed his chest and nipped at his lip. Ron couldn’t help but moan at the challenge. He moved to sloppily kissing the light stumble on his friend’s jaw causing him to tilt his head away opening his neck up for him.

“Ugh,” Harry groaned as Ron sucked hard on his neck. “I don’t….I don’t even know anything around this part of London.”. 

  
“Well we are surrounded by muggles,” Ron pointed out right before sucking particularly hard on the man’s jugular causing him to hiss with pleasure this time. “One of them has to know somewhere. Quicker we get them somewhere the quicker we can get home.” 

  
The redhead dropped his hands down to squeeze Harry’s firm bum causing him to push away playfully at his chest which moved him to move back against the sink. He made sure the bloke came with him and it finally caused him to laugh. Then he even started snogging back up himself. Kissing him happily holding onto his face while he continued to hold his cloth covered ass cheeks in his hands.

  
“Harry? Ron? Are you two com…..” 

  
Harry broke their kiss in less than half a second hearing the words, but Ron kissed his neck oblivious and uncaring to the interruption before the bloke could scramble away. He leaned back away from his lips, and Ron opened his eyes. They were having too much fun to stop. Some bloody muggles shouldn’t ruin that. Being in a dance club, and the loo, snogging should be expected.

  
“Oi where are you going?” he asked, and then Ron’s eyes focused over Harry’s shoulder. He saw Dean’s shocked face. Despite himself he couldn’t help but laugh at the expression. His eyes were wide, and his jaw dropped appearing completely stunned. 

  
Then the door nudged open a little more out of Dean’s weak hold on the door knob revealing Seamus. “Dean are they…” the Irish man stopped in his tracks with an equally shocked look. Unlike Dean though his quickly morphed into a smile. “Ohhhh yeaaaaa!” the man laughed loudly with a grin Ron imagined might break his face. “Get some boys! Get it!” 

  
“Oh Merlin save me…” Harry said in a small weak voice moving to stand beside him avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

  
“Care if we join? Make this a fucking orgy mates,” Seamus laughed grabbing the back of Dean’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss which the other man seemed to be trying to resist.

  
Harry spun around to face them shaking his head. “No no no no no no no,” his friend said on repeat like he couldn’t stop. “No. No. No.”

  
Ron grabbed him by the waist to calm him, and pulled him closer to his body. Leaning in he placed a kiss again and again on his neck that was still wet and warm from before. “See?” he mumbled. 

  
“Ron stop it!” Harry insisted, trying to bat his face away. 

  
“Seamus get off me!” Dean said, sounding equally as annoyed as Harry. Ron giggled goofily seeing him push the Irish man away. 

  
Leaning against the closed door, Seamus pouted crossing his arms. “Ruin all the bloody fun. It’s just the four of us. Not like we don’t know each other.”

  
Harry gaped at him. “We are not having an orgy Seamus! Fucking hell! Do you not know how to control your cock?” 

  
“Nope,” Seamus said with a cheeky smile. “He does though.” The Irish man nodded to Dean. “Maybe he can teach you to control Ron’s.” Snickering he flickered his eyes down to Ron’s crotch. 

  
Following them the redhead noticed his tented trousers. He wanted to look embarrassed due to Harry’s blush but he just couldn’t make himself so he bit his lips to keep from snickering alongside Seamus. The man was looking at him holding back his own laugh with as much restraint as he was. 

  
“Dean please,” Harry said pleadingly, moving a little closer to their friends. “Please please please please please. Don’t say anything. Don’t please. I’m begging you.” The other Gryffindor looked at him with something akin to sympathy and understanding.

  
“Awwww he begs,” Seamus said like Harry was an adorable puppy. His face melted from a good time to something of awe. “Ronnnnnnn.” Seamus whined looking back to him. “I need a begging buddy pleaseeee.” 

  
Ron barked out a laugh, and Dean smacked Seamus upside the head causing him to wince and cover his sandy hair that was already ruffled from their previous snogging. “Seamus shut up!” the other man said seriously. 

  
“Well if you're smacking me around you’re starting the foreplay not me! Wait...does that mean I can take my clothes off now?” The Irish man ducked down out of the way when Dean went to smack him again. 

  
“Please?” Harry’s voice sounded far to pleading and it made Ron’s heart hurt a little. 

  
The redhead moved up beside him and took his hand. Turning his head and kissing him soft and deeply. “They won’t bloody say anything love,” Ron reassured him, wanting him to feel better. “They do and I will tell Neville about the time I caught them in his bed at the beginning of sixth year with his favorite notebook.” 

  
Seamus moaned shamelessly without care. “Merlin, was that a good one. My arse was sore for nearly two days. Who would have thought from a bloody notebook eh?” The man looked between them all like that was the nightly revelation, not even caring to notice that both Dean and Harry were covering their faces with their hands.

XXXXXXXXXX  
  
By the time the Knight Bus dropped them off at Grimmauld Place Ron was so dizzy he practically fell out of the vehicle. Harry’s buzz seemed to have worn off just a smidge since he had somehow kept his balance on something moving faster than a firebolt. Probably because he hadn’t indulged in the extra alcohol Hermione had bought them at the shop they stopped at with some little card. All the different kinds of muggle liquor, and the good time they were having it basically had called his name.

  
Somewhere between the sidewalk and falling into Harry’s bed their clothes had been lost to them. Ron only registered that fact when their bodies pressed together as he caught the man on the downfall. Their skin was hot together, and then the only physical feelings were his lips and their hardened cocks brushing each other. It was glorious being so lost and free in the moment especially after a never ending night of wanting him. 

  
“I fucking love you Harry,” he said kissing the bloke’s jaw as they tumbled around on the bed. They seemed to be too restless to stay put in one position, or at least he was. “I love you love you love you.”

  
Harry didn’t respond to him, but he didn’t care. The redhead just kept kissing him like he couldn’t get enough. Kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, his chest. All of him. Finally getting to taste the tan skin he had wanted to all night. 

  
They had sex just as often as they had in school since they had started living together only a month after the war. If not more. While Harry usually ended up content for a few days he felt like he couldn’t have a higher sex drive. He decided to subtly ask Charlie about it at the Burrow when he was in town, knowing that brother wouldn’t turn it into a joke for the whole family to know. Apparently sometimes people just had higher sex drives. It could come and go, and no one really knew. 

  
It had made him feel less abnormal, and like he was obsessed. There was just an extra wank or two thrown in throughout the week for him. Besides it was Harry who reaped the benefits of his overactive attraction. Whenever the bloke wanted to shag he basically got it. 

  
Ron didn’t think there was any way possible he could ever say no to him about anything. Maybe no to that curry he liked to order on Friday’s, but definitely nothing important to their relationship. Whether it was friend related or their not-a-relationship relationship. 

  
“Mmmm,” Harry moaned, vibrating his brain back from wherever it had gone. It caused him to feel around with his face and latch onto the first thing his mouth was near which happened to be a nipple. “How….do you want me?”

  
The bloke constantly running his hands through his flaming hair kept his attention with extra stimulation. Ron found himself rocking with the movement of them until he popped off the stiff peak he had been nursing. Of its own accord his tongue licked it’s way up his best mate’s chest bone, to his adams apple, and finally to the corner of his mouth. 

  
“Roll over,” he whispered with a slur even he could detect. All he could see in the dark of the room was the memory of Harry's ass bent over in front of him like so many times before. All his quidditch years, and still regular flies, had his ass as well formed and fit as it would ever be. Hopefully forever. Maybe he could get him to have another look at being a professional quidditch player. 

  
Harry’s torso brushed his body as he rolled over beneath him. When he pushed up onto his hands and knees it forced him up also with a renewed smile. Ron grabbed onto the bloke’s hips to steady himself, but instantly parted his cheeks to lean in and taste the man. Licking a stripe up his ass and back down to tongue at his hole. It usually didn’t take much to open him up with their frequent shags, but he still had to get his tongue in there often enough to satisfy a hunger within himself. 

  
However he realized after a few minutes of circling his rim, and wiggling his way inside that he was getting light headed from not being able to breathe. So instead he licked his way back up to the small of his back quickly for air, and slipped a finger inside the slightly wet warm channel instead. Moving it in and out briefly before shoving in a second roughly. He tightened around his digits, but didn’t complain. 

  
“You’re fucking beautiful,” Ron mumbled kissing the small of his back. Harry must have heard him because he reached between his body and the sheets. He figured to hold his cock. Then though his cock suddenly went cold causing him to hiss. 

  
Grabbing himself concerned he relaxed feeling the slickness of lube. There was only half of a second he chastised himself for forgetfulness before he was dragging his fingers around his member to coat his fingers, and shove three inside of the man’s little hole. Ron heard him groan heavily, and the sound hurt his cock. It wanted them to be connected. 

  
As soon as Harry responded to his thrusting fingers by moving back and forth with eased muscles he withdrew them. Fumbling around Ron finally placed the head of his cock against winking furrowed skin. He slipped the tip inside him as soon as he felt it causing Harry to whimper and tightened around him. The bloke didn’t complain though as he continued to let the man’s ass swallow him whole as he sunk his length into the heat. 

  
“Merlin’s fucking beard Ron! Fuck!” Harry eventually said loudly, and Ron could feel him banging his head against the mattress. Clearly trying to get his body to adjust to him with so little prep work. He didn’t tell him to stop though. 

  
“You know how rough you like it,” Ron said in a husky slur reaching the hilt. He rubbed his pelvis against his bum where they were joined and smoothed his hands over his back. “You also know how much I love it when you scream my name for me.” 

  
Harry made a throaty noise of potential agreement that turned into a high pitched whine as he started to rock his hips back and forth. It was just enough to cause the man to let out little continual whines that quickly turned to oh’s of pleasure. Ron wanted to laugh at his satisfaction, but he could only exhale heavily.

  
Having his body upright as he thrust was making him dizzier than he expected so he put both hands onto the top of Harry’s bum hoping to keep himself in place as he moved in and out of him. His body had other plans though as he wound up laying his chest down against his back. The position allowed his cock to take more control as he started thrusting into him faster while his head rested against his body. Thankfully Harry was starting to meet him each time he pushed inside until his own movements started becoming erratic. Like something more primal was taking over. He could feel his balls tightening paired with an insane amount of pressure from his friend's inner walls clenching his cock.

  
Ron was too consumed with his own upcoming orgasm to register the crying out his name and other words on the high of ecstasy like he had wanted. He could only hear the blood rushing in his ears, and the distant sounds of himself making noises until he was coming with a stuttered breathless grunt. It felt like the climax would never end as it pulsed within himself. Almost like he just couldn’t stop coming. His body tingled constantly. 

  
“Harry….oh….” he moaned with a tightened throat before simply falling off to the side of him hoping to get the overwhelming feelings to ease up. 

  
They didn’t though, especially as Harry’s body stayed seemingly stuck to him. Upper body pressed hard up against his side, and limbs draped over top of him keeping him grounded. Sighing he was able to relax his muscles into the embrace long enough for things to momentarily calm down. Allowing his mind to fall asleep with them a sticky naked tangled mess like never before.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ron buried his head under the pillow as light blasted him in the face, pulling the covers over him also for extra protection. It was too early to get out of the warm darkness of the bed. His head hurt too much from the night before, and it had him feeling exhausted just from that alone. 

  
Then the blankets were completely ripped off from over top of him and he tensed trying to bury his body deeper into the mattress as the cold air of Grimmauld Place hit his naked body. The stupid house always stayed chilly. Growling he maneuvered around for warmth still refusing to get up. 

  
“You’re going to be late,” Harry said from somewhere close by, but Ron merely grunted his acknowledgement. Apparently it wasn't a satisfying response because Harry jumped onto the bed hard causing him to bounce upwards a little. It caused him to lose any little warmth he had found, and caused his head to throb. 

  
“Fine mum,” he grumbled annoyed. Mostly because he was cold and his head hurt. Groaning and forcing himself to sit upright the redhead rested his elbows on his knees. It took too much effort to move so he dropped his head into his hands and massaged his pulsing temples with his thumbs. 

  
Trying to adjust to the light flooding the room now, and the state of being awake Ron blinked a few times. It sucked unsticking his eye lids that were determined to stay close. When they managed to open wider finally and see more clearly he wrinkled his nose at the sight. 

  
“Ewwwww…” he dragged out deeply, wrinkling his nose. While he enjoyed cum he did not enjoy sleeping in it. His dark red pubic hair was stuck together in patches from what looked like far too much lube with flakes of come all over his pelvis region and thighs.

  
“Yeaaa….think you need a shower to,” Harry said.

  
Ron looked at him out of the corner of his eye, only long enough to see his equally wrinkled nose before looking back. The angle hurt his head. The bed shifted indicating his friend had gotten back up. 

  
“Better move your ass. Robards isn’t exactly the tolerant sort now is he?” Harry asked rhetorically. He knew plenty well he was, but only because he had griped about it quite a bit the first month of constantly being in trouble for tardiness and foul language. 

  
The redhead wanted to scoff, but he couldn’t even muster a glare. “Not like you’d actually bloody know. You’re an asshole for not going into auror training with me.” 

  
Harry shrugged unbothered. Then again he and lots of others had given him a hard time about choosing not to join the aurors like was expected of him. While it didn't actually bother him the hangover made it seem irritating when they could just be going to work together. 

  
“Like I’ve told everyone Ron,” Harry said in a bored tone. “I’m done fighting. It just makes me angry. I've spent my entire life fighting. Why would I want to make a career out of that?” 

  
The bloke took one of the hands holding his head up forcing him to actually lift it. Harry put a hangover potion in it. “Go on. I don’t want to listen to you bitch tonight when he puts you through extra drills for being late.” 

  
Uncorking the potion feeling enterally grateful he drank it down in one swallow. The feeling of inner cleanness washed through his blood, and the lingering alcohol hanging about evaporated out of his system. “Thanks mate. Guess go have fun whittling some wood today. Get you ready for mine later,” Ron managed with a small laugh slowly getting his energy back, but then Harry smacked him upside the head. “Oi! What the fuck!” he exclaimed loudly. 

  
“Dean taught me a few tricks while you, and Seamus were busy stuffing your faces with chocolate, tripping over the curb, and laughing like you were hit with a tickling jinx,” Harry chuckled smugly at his pouting expression while he continued to rub the back of his head. Then the bloke smirked at him. 

  
For a second Ron studied Harry's retreating form, dark grey joggers with no shirt, while trying to remember the previous night with Seamus. Vaguely after all the chatting people running off to dance he remembered them almost outting themselves to Ginny, or well he almost outted them. It caused him to cringe a little, but he remembered a hand over his mouth. Harry wasn’t mad this morning, so clearly he had saved them from that little accident. A small twist in his chest told him he couldn’t tell if he was grateful or not. 

  
By the time he had proper time to decide if it would have been a bad idea or not, Ron had run into the shower just long enough to wash off the top layer of filth and run back out. Tossing on the first set of auror robes he found he all but jumped down the stairs in a hurry fueled with slight panic having finally checked the time. Harry was very right about how much he hated running drills and being late on a Monday morning would make his boss extra pissed. 

  
Like always though Kreacher had breakfast already laying out on the table, and Harry was reading a book on wand cores. Notebook beside him and a line of small samples Ollivander had given him. It was still a little weird seeing him work with books and hands instead of actually with a wand. Or at least his own wand in his hand.

  
Snatching a bagel and apple off the table near him he leant down, capturing Harry's lips in a goodbye kiss like all the other days since he started training. “See you later yea?” he said with a smile. 

  
“Yea. Have fun getting in trouble,” the bloke said, leaning up just a little to peck him on the lips again. 

  
Feeling satisfied with their good bye Ron took off towards the floo with the bagel in his mouth. It was going to be a long ass day, but when days started like this he was able to go in with a mostly optimistic attitude. After all, he couldn’t imagine being much happier than this.


	8. McLaggen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think only one more chapter to go loves! I'm not entirely sure. It decides how I want to play out the last scene at the Burrow. It might feel weird at the end of that chapter but it's not enough for a 10th chapter, and I don't want it as a close tiny epilogue. So we shall see. I've had this chapter 1/2 written for a while now and I'm excited to finally post it! Hope it's enjoyed!

**November 29, 1998**

Neville pushed his empty dinner plate away from himself with a groan. “Honestly Ron I’m stuffed. Can I go home yet?”

  
Ron swallowed his mouthful of mash so he could talk. The Leaky Cauldron definitely didn’t have the best food on Diagon Alley, but it was low key and they got a lot for their money. They were just killing time anyways. 

  
“Come on mate just a bit longer,” he said before taking another bite. 

  
“It’s Friday. Robards ran too many bloody drills,” Neville complained “I think it is his personal mission to make us too tired to want to do anything until Sunday. That way when we finally feel recharged he can drain us all the way down again.” 

  
Continuing to eat on his own sandwich Ron silently agreed. Robards was ruthless in the auror department. To him helping take down a dark wizard, and fighting in battle wasn’t enough training. They needed to be prepared to take on twenty at a time. Once training was over and they took on actual cases he knew it wouldn’t be nearly as bad though. At least that was what he told himself. 

  
However Neville liked to ruin that by mentioning the paperwork they would have to do. Ron didn’t know how he or Neville would survive that bit. While the bloke had struggled with his wand many years once he had gotten his own and found himself he became quite the gifted wizard in action. Homework though? That hadn’t been something either of them really excelled at finishing or keeping track of. 

  
At first he had been surprised when the other Gryffindor had applied to join the aurors. When Harry had pointed out the reasons he would make a good one though it started making more sense. Both his parents were aurors. He had spent over a year boldly defending fellow students from dark wizards despite being in harm's way himself. Despite being gifted at herbology, if his heart was in it he would make a brilliant auror. 

  
There was no other option, but to agree. Honestly he was thankful to have a good friend to be working at his side. Especially since Harry was set on being a wand maker ever since Ollivander had made the offer, which he had said he would have offered to no one less. Being a delicate science needing a humble heart.

  
Ron finished the last bit of his meal. “There are only twenty more minutes. Don’t make me sit around by myself,” he tried to reason. 

  
“What are we even waiting on?” Neville asked, propping his head up with his left hand looking tired. “It’s been nearly an hour.”

  
“I have to go to Flourish and Blotts before I can go home. They said it should be there about five,” he told him.

  
“You? Go to Flourish and Blotts?” Neville asked, confused. 

  
“Well just insult me why don’t you,” Ron laughed, accepting the jab at himself. He knew it sounded absurd without context. At school he had loathed reading, and that hadn’t changed. Pushing away his own basket he took a drink of his butterbeer. 

  
“Nah it’s not for me mate. I ordered this book for Harry on the actual wood design for wands, and how all that has been done or inspired or whatever over time,” he explained with a chipper tone. He wasn’t that excited about it, but he was excited Harry might be.

  
“Harry went on this whole ramble a few weeks ago about his wand handle and Hermione’s,” he continued. “The plainness of Malfoy’s, and how he was ever going to get creative enough for that aspect of wand making.” 

  
Ron shook his replaying the conversation. The bloke had stressed over the subject after the old man had started discussing it with him at the shop one day. He was apprenticing, but Ollivander had him both basically doing homework and helping in the store front. Experiencing people’s reactions to their wands, seeing the surplus of designs, and the realization he would be crafting his own had caused him to go into a frenzy. 

  
“I don’t know,” the redhead shrugged finally. He didn’t understand much about wandlore. Mostly he just listened to Harry and offered opinions or support. “Apparently Ollivander says it just comes to you which Harry thinks is rubbish. He says the only reason he thinks he is good at the makeup of the wands is because he can feel all the magic intertwining. Cores to wood and all that.”

  
Neville pulled out his own, and showed him the handle. “Well I mean mine is pretty simple,” he said.

  
Ron looked it over. He never really paid any mind to others peoples considering they were usually concealed in their hands. Neville’s was smooth, but curved like a spiral. Simple but not as plain as Malfoy’s. 

  
He nodded his head approvingly at the example. “Yea see he is worried about stuff like that. Simple versus complexity. I thought the book might help with explaining more than Ollivander can.”

  
Neville slid his wand back into his robes. “Tell him to just talk to Dean. He is an artist. Painting and all that. I’m sure he has some tips he might be able to share.” 

  
Ron’s eyebrows rose at the suggestion. “That’s actually a good idea mate. I’ll do that. I’m definitely no bloody artist.” The idea caused him to laugh. He had quit doing art when he was ten unless you counted doodling nonsense on notes art. 

  
“Same,” his friend agreed with a yawn from the side. 

  
Half wondering if Neville might just fall asleep on the counter he checked the time again. It was only a few minutes until five pm. Surely it would have arrived by now. The fact he had stated this long was a miracle of its own. He was usually the first one out of the department the second it hit four, but he wanted to pick it up for the weekend since Harry would have relaxed time to start on it if he wanted. 

  
“Alright you’re free Nev. I’ll talk to you Monday,” Ron said cheerfully getting up from the chair and putting his auror robes back on.

  
Neville got himself to his feet and put his own back on as well. “Thank Merlin. See you later,” he said, turning with a short wave and starting for the door to the muggle street. Ron smiled back as he headed off to the back of the pub for the brick wall. 

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**  


  
Walking in on the sight Ron could hardly believe what he was seeing. Actually he couldn’t believe it at all. Not ever would he have imagined watching Cormac McLaggen kissing Harry. Especially so casually. Even having the audacity to smirk at him when he saw him standing just inside the room from the angle they were communicating. 

  
“Owl me the address. Yea?” he heard the older Gryffindor say to Harry.

  
“Alright,” Harry said with a small smile, and even from across the room Ron could see the little blush at the top of his cheek bone. While it was probably sparked by good feelings the red on his own cheeks was not. 

  
Harry scratched behind his ear. A flustered nervous tick of his. It caused his own eye to twitch. While still oblivious to his presence, Cormac however seemed to be enjoying showing off their little display of affection. That was if the grin that grew on his face before stepping back into the floo was anything to go by. 

  
They both watched him disappear into the green flames. While Harry stood there a second after the bloke was gone he took a very deep breath trying not to feel angry. Despite himself though it was bubbling under his ribcage. When Harry finally turned around, and noticed his presence, his face still brightened like it always did. Instead of the normal happy feeling it caused this time his fist clenched. 

  
“How was work?” Harry asked him like it was just any other day. Like he hadn’t just kissed Cormac McLaggen in his sitting room, and wasn’t apparently making plans with a git they had disliked in school. While they hadn’t loathed him like Malfoy he was probably the one they hated the most in Gryffindor Tower. 

  
“You brought that arrogant prick into our house?” Ron asked, completely emotionless. There were so many feelings that they all seemed to cancel one another out leaving him with nothing. 

  
Harry furrowed his brows. “Uh my house,” he pointed out with some irritation. “I can bring anyone here I want. Especially my bloody boyfriend.” 

  
Ron's jaw dropped at the word and eyes widened at the word. “Your…..your what?” 

  
Harry shrugged a shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. “Yea,” he answered suddenly looking sheepish. “Came across each other at Gringotts last month and got to talking. Then you know…. one topic led to another and….yea.” His voice trailed off a bit. 

  
For a second Ron felt like his brain had broken before it fired back up. Dating McLaggen? Sure over the last month or so they hadn’t really interacted like normal. The bloke usually wasn’t sitting at the kitchen table or even downstairs at all when he left for work in the mornings. They hadn’t gotten to see each other much in the evenings.

  
As he thought about it the changes in their more romantic and sexual life had started to cease over the weeks. That’s when he realized it had been nearly two weeks since they had last shagged. With training increased for exams before the holidays he hadn’t paid much attention to it. Harry had apparently been ending whatever they still called it between them without his even noticing, and it was because he had grown interest in someone else. 

  
“You’re….you’re actually dating McLaggen?” he asked Harry quite dumbly as he was still trying to process the realization and information. 

  
Harry nodded his head appearing to mock the dumbness. “Umm yea. Pretty sure I just said that.” 

  
“What?” Ron said loudly in disbelief, finally feeling the truth. Hearing it again shook him from head to toe. “No. No you can't date him!” 

  
Probably shock from his almost demand caused Harry to be visibly taken aback into a defensive stance. “I can date anyone I want, Ron,” his friend emphasized angrily.

  
Ron opened and closed his mouth a few times not knowing what to say. He was right. He could date anyone he wanted. Just like he could. Even though it wasn’t what he wanted. They had never said anything. Finalized or accepted anything outside of what had turned into a friends with benefits situation. Still it hurt something inside.

  
“Seriously Harry? McLaggen?” he said more numbly this time without it being an actual question. 

  
Harry sighed, shaking his head. “Look. He isn’t as bad as you think Ron. Sure he was a bit arrogant and full of himself in school. He felt like he had something to prove then being a pureblood with gay tendencies he was trying to make himself out to be that jock all the witches wanted. You don’t think we talked about it first? He is actually getting ready to work….” 

  
“How the hell am I supposed to know what you talk about with your bloody boyfriend?” Ron spat not wanting to hear anything about the man. The name alone was causing the pulse in his neck to throb without needing to know the details of how he was supposedly someone who had changed. 

  
“Exactly,” Harry said. “So why the hell are you so worked up?” he asked, throwing a hand up appearing genuinely confused. “You don’t think I can handle myself and who I date?” 

  
“It’s McLaggen!” Ron shouted again.

  
“I’m very aware of that Ron!” Harry yelled back at him. “I’m not blind or fucking deaf you prat. Quit being such an asshole! People can change. If Malfoy fucking can anyone our age can. He is a nice bloke when you get to know him. Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve. He isn’t what you think he is anymore.”

  
“McLaggen….McLaggen…..” Ron repeated to himself under his breath. Maybe if he said it enough it would sink it and could figure out what to do about anything other than just standing there. “McLaggen.” 

  
“What do you want from me Ron?” Harry asked, a bit calmer. “It’s not like there are a million gay wizards out there. Especially ones that don’t just want me because I’m their stupid saviour! Cormac...” 

  
“What about me Harry! What about me?!” he shouted on reflex, and even he could hear the desperate plea in his voice begging to be heard.

  
Harry adjusted his head like he hadn’t quite heard him right despite the shouting. “What about you Ron? He isn’t buggering you,” he still managed on the calmer side although clearly confused. 

  
“I bugger you!” he said like it would explain anything in case the bloke had forgotten. 

  
“And?” Harry asked like it was a completely pointless statement to their argument, which it really was. “We can't just shag each other forever. We were just, I don’t know…..experimenting or whatever for a while. You wanted a good shag, and we are best friends. It just….worked out I guess. Unless you were taking pity on your gay best mate?”

  
“But I am Harry! I am! It wasn’t….,” Ron was shouting before he could help himself, but then he stopped his shouting at the last line. Harry couldn’t possibly think that. “NO! No! It’s not like that!” he insisted furiously. 

  
“That’s good to know. I like to think you wouldn’t be that much of a prick. I still don’t get what your problem is Ron.” 

  
Ron pulled at his hair. He felt like he was going to explode from a reducto. Maybe if he pulled hard enough it would quicken the process. “I do like blokes Harry! I do! How could you not know that by now!” he admitted without restraint before realizing what he was saying. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips tightly together trying to get a hold of himself. It resulted in a tighter tug on his hair. “I...you…...you….I….I just.….GAH!” he exclaimed loudly, letting go of his hold dramatically letting out a deep breath, and giving up defeat on trying to communicate. 

  
Harry furrowed his brows not understanding what was saying. Then again he didn’t blame him considering he wasn’t even able to get his own thoughts out properly. More due to some mental barrier than lack of understanding himself, but maybe it was for the better. 

  
“Then…..what were….kept…” Harry started thinking aloud, speaking in unformed sentences himself. “You…”

  
A sense of dawning hit Harry’s face, and his eyebrows rose enough that they were nearly covered by his hanging bits of black hair. That was when Ron realized he had said too much, and the realization of his best mate understanding something he swore he would never reveal came crashing down on him. He felt tears welling up in his eyes knowing he had just ruined his friendship all because he couldn’t control being bloody jealous. It felt like Hermione and Krum all over again, but it was so much worse because they were closer than he had ever been with Hermione. Also Cormac was not the gentleman Krum was. 

  
Harry just stared at him for a few seconds. His heart was racing because he was terrified of what he might say. He didn’t even feel the tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

  
“Ron. Are you…” he started.

  
When words finally left Harry’s mouth he felt a horrible rush of panic that made him nauseous. It was completely over. Just like he had feared so many times before.

  
Turning on his heel, Ron made it out into the hall, ignoring Walburga’s angry scream due to accidentally brushing open the curtain as he ran. He was grateful he had made the stop at Flourish and Blotts, and hadn’t flooed in from the Ministry. Who knows what he would have stepped into, and he definitely wasn’t moving past Harry to get to his fireplace now either. 

  
“Ron wait!” Harry’s voice echoed down the hall. 

  
It vanished into the distance though as he threw open the front door. He had to force himself into a complete stop, and catch himself from falling off the stoop so he could apparate to the first place that came to his mind. The place he had realized what he actually wanted.

  
  
**XXXXXXXXXX**

It was still early evening when he landed, admittedly falling to his knees because his mind instantly became unfocused again, but the air felt as cold as a dementor nearby on his cheeks. The redhead was incredibly grateful he was still in his auror robes. While he cursed the heat of them at work or in summer, in the quickly sinking sun of nearly winter they were practically a life saver. 

  
There was no other way he could have stayed there until nightfall. Even under the heating charms he was regularly casting every ten minutes. While normally a nuisance, flicking his wand up to renew it quickly became a habit. A habit that was bringing him back from his thoughts as he stared out over the lake he once had. 

  
At the time it had felt like weeks, but now the time seemed to pass too fast as the sun vanished. The water rippled just as calmly as before. Soothingly. The orange sun had reflected just as beautifully as the rising moon did. Only occasionally had he and Harry been able to share a tender moment of embrace here while Hermione slept. Each time seeming to renew them until the moment his heart had swelled to the point it hurt when the bloke had sat in his lap. Heated skin against skin seeking comfort. 

  
Before caving to his spot on the rocks, and replaying the mixture of happy and sad memories, Ron had walked the exact path Hermione had taken to the village those few times. Holding his hand out as if he could feel something in the air or among the empty branches of bushes. When he had slowly made his way back towards the lake he felt horrible realizing he actually missed the tent that had felt like hell for nearly a year. 

  
As the chill worsened and the stars twinkled which caused his heart to hurt a little. It had been an earlier fall when they were here but the stars shone the same. Still he couldn’t manage to make himself stay the night, no matter how much as much he wanted to. He’d brought no supplies and transfiguring a bloody expensive book, and rocks didn’t seem like they would turn out so well. He was bollocks at transfiguration. 

  
Returning to Grimmauld Place was not even a remote possibility in his mind either. He decided on the only other place there was unless he wanted to stay at a hotel or drop in on a friend for what would appear to be no reason and weird. So despite his wishes, a potential onslaught of motherly questioning, he apparated to the Burrow. At least his mum wouldn’t care about him sleeping over.

  
The moment he landed on his feet, and caught sight of the warm glowing lights of his mums house he sighed in relief. It was probably going to be annoying, but at least it felt secure. Granted there was a good chance he was going to steal one of his brother's beds instead of his own. Feeling so emotionally raw he would probably be able to feel Harry’s body against him from when they had shagged in his. 

  
Thankfully the flickering candle light against the door and bench prevented him taking a second step forward. Saving him from what could have very well been an utterly embarrassing row with his mum and dad listening in. In the yellow highlight, he was able to see Harry sitting on the bench. Bent over with his head in his hands. 

  
Just as his hopefully still friend, started to lift it probably to inspect the sound of apparition he was gone again. It probably made him a coward, but he just couldn’t handle what might come from a confrontation. At least not today. 


	9. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here we go loves. I know this chapter turned out long but the boys had a bit to work through and you know how they are. Hopefully it works out good though, flows, and you all enjoy it! Thank you for following the journey! I'm sad and happy to see it end. <3 Just gives me time to focus fully on another Rarry piece (of about 17) though!

**December 1, 1998**  
  
Having spent the rest of the weekend at Shell Cottage Ron was torn between finally going home, or just going straight to his mums again. Of course he wanted to go home to Grimmauld. His stuff was there, his other change of auror robes, and it would be nice to be in his own bed again before work Monday. There was no doubt the day would make him more exhausted than ever when paired with his mental state. 

  
From the Burrow he had apparated into a field he frequented with his brothers as a boy not very far away. They had gone there to sneak in short games of quidditch when they weren’t allowed to, or just escape from their mums nagging. For a few minutes he used it for a spot to regather his thoughts and figure out where to go from there. Because with Harry there, there had been no way he was going to stay.

  
He didn't have a lot of options though, and he wasn’t going to go to his friends. Almost all of which were mutual. There was George, but he just knew he would rat him out in a heartbeat. Plus it was probably an expected location next in line from the Burrow. 

  
So in the end he finally thought of Bill. His other brother lived the farthest away, and definitely was the most mellow among their lot. Perhaps there wouldn’t be a lot of fuss on his arrival so in the end he decided on the risk compared to his choices. 

  
Luckily he brother had proven him correct. Bill hardly asked questions besides why he was there, and if he was okay. It actually was a little odd, but he didn’t risk his good luck. Brushing those simple questions off was easy as Bill accepted them even though he was sure he didn’t believe him. Then by some miracle he was allowed to hide up in the spare room most of the weekend minus meals, and the occasional casual conversation. 

  
Now though it was clearly time to go. Bill was getting antsy and he was tired of being there. Which left him stuck between dealing with his mum, who Harry no doubt had told of his arrival and departure, and there was a chance Harry could still be there anyways; or he could just suck it up and go back to Grimmauld. It wasn’t like he could hide from the bloke forever after all. 

  
In the end he decided to go with the lesser of two evils. At least at Grimmauld he only had to deal with Harry. So with a simple goodbye, and a promise to see him again very soon, Ron threw the floo powder into Bill's fireplace and was whisked away. 

  
Ron wasn't surprised to find the floo unlocked when he popped through the gate and into the sitting room. Harry kept it open more often than he honestly should, plus he was no doubt keeping everything open for him to come back. He had asked him to wait in the end, but his brain just hadn’t allowed it. Sometimes he just needed space, and to cool and calm himself. Which the frigid ocean breeze in the beginning of December had definitely done. 

  
Much to the redhead’s relief the sitting room was empty. He still scanned it though unlike he had since their short stay there before intruding into the Ministry. Raking in the walls and grooves for any sight of his friend. He had a bloody invisibility cloak so it's not like it mattered, but he couldn't help inspect it for movement. 

  
For a minute he just stood there, even after his approval of the room, to see if Kreacher would appear, or maybe hear a sound from somewhere. When neither came he slowly walked over to the dark kitchen to find it empty. It didn't look like Harry or Kreacher had done anything in there all weekend. Maybe it meant he had spent the weekend at Cormacs after Friday night. 

  
Although it caused his mind and muscles to relax at being alone, it also caused a pang in his heart he tried to shrug off. Something he has been working on the entire time at Bill's house. He needed to work harder to control himself, and just be happy for Harry. Which meant schooling his emotions, and getting over whatever they had had. High school romances didn't last anyways. A topic he had brought up with his older brother. Although it didn't help much when he had said the best relationships were built on top of friendship. 

  
Taking one last look around he found himself even more comfortable, and he started making his way up to his room. Even though they frequently shared a bed they both still had their separate bedrooms. Something he had always been mixed on because he understood best mates needing their own space, but he loved snuggling with the bloke at night. 

  
Climbing the stairs he frowned, unsure what exactly he was going to do. Living with Harry sounded a bit weird now. His nose wrinkled at the idea of sharing the same house he may have to come across McLaggen frequently in, and knowing what he was doing with his best mate. The possibility of seeing or hearing them do things together made him feel physically ill. Maybe there was a chance he could move up to the third floor if things turned out okay between them. That way they weren't on the same landing. 

  
It wasn’t like he had a good enough pay for his own flat just yet anyways. He was only in training, and there was also no way in hell he was going back to living with his mum. Opening his door, and seeing his bed he sorely missed he couldn't help but smile genuinely. He could figure that bit out later. All he wanted was a good lay down in his soft mattress. Bill’s spare, from not receiving company that stayed over often, had been far too firm.

  
When he took a few steps towards it though he was smacked on the back of his head with what felt like a brick. It was hard enough it knocked him forward, and caused him to stumble from the unexpectedness. There were not even five people keyed into the wards. That’s what they got for leaving the stupid foo open. 

  
“Fuucking….” he growled holding the back of his head as he grabbed for his wand, only to get hit in the side of the face with a fist when he was spinning around. It caused him to lose his balance again. The pain moved from the back of his head to his jaw, but he was able to raise his wand.

  
“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU STUPID SELFISH GIT!” Harry yelled at him, smacking his wand hand down to step closer.

  
Ron didn’t relax seeing him, but his defenses dropped. Allowing him to go back to rubbing all of his head which now hurt. “You don’t sneak up on people you asshole! I was going to fucking hex you!” he yelled back. “Bugger…” he complained from the pain. 

  
“Hex me?” Harry spat at him. “You're lucky I didn't hex your fucking bloody bollocks off the second you stepped through the floo, and trust me I thought about it!” 

The redhead noted Harry’s worn look even in the dimly lit room. His black shirt was wrinkled like it hadn’t been washed in days along with his trousers. The bloke's raven colored hair was more of a nest than it normally was and his green eyes sparked vividly in what little light there was. 

  
“What are you even doing here?” he asked annoyed from being surprised, and the ideas that came to mind of what he may have been getting up to. “Shouldn't you be cozying up with someone?” 

  
Harry, whom he expected to shoot something back at him or maybe even hit him again, ignored his question completely though. Instead stepping up to him toe to toe and with that dangerous look he got in his eye. The kind that made him almost too dangerous to be an auror with the way he focused in. It caused Ron to straighten back up, and swallow thickly in mild worry. 

  
“Don't you EVER…..apparate on me again you prick,” Harry bit out lowly in a threat. “EVER!” 

  
Ron winched at the anger in his voice. The last word nearly caused his ears to ring, it was so loud. After what happened on the run, ditching them in the forest, he supposed it would trigger more anger than he expected. Maybe reliving bad memories. Perhaps two times in the same day might be considered a bit much paired on top of that. 

  
“Where the fucking hell have you been?” Harry asked angrily. “I've hardly slept in two days, and I've been fucking everywhere!” 

“Bill's,” he answered, simply not wanting to keep up the shouting, dropping his hand from his head finally.

  
“No you weren’t,” Harry stated bitterly like he was being lied to. “Your mum flooed all your brothers after I got there Friday.”

  
“Yes I was!” he repeated irritably for being called a liar. “I went there after I stopped at the Burrow. I couldn’t stay at the bloody….” Then his voice trailed off on it’s own, not wanting to give out the location.

  
Harry’s eyes narrowed on him. “Ron….” he said dangerously, practically requiring an answer. 

  
He reasoned with himself the location hardly mattered. After all you could apparate anywhere once you had been there, and anything could come to mind. “It was just that one lake we stayed at for a while on the run. You know….the one with the trees and rock bank,” he told him, trying for no emotion to be seen or heard like he had practiced. 

  
That seemed to take his friend off guard a little. “The one where….” 

  
Ron nodded his head quickly, glancing away not wanting to talk about what happened there at all. They had only shagged or engaged sexually a few times in those months, and that was by far the most emotional of them. One that couldn't be forgotten. Frankly one of the most beautiful locations too. It had the changing leaves, colorful skies, and clear water.

  
“Why there?” Harry asked him, finally a bit calmer and interrupting his memory. 

  
Surprised by the follow up question Ron bit his lip. 

  
“Why?” Harry asked again, drawing the word out.

  
“Don't make me say it,” Ron said weakly looking back at him with a little bit of a plea. The bloke was being persistent, and he just wanted to say sorry, and put the weekend behind them. 

  
“Well if you don't say anything how is this supposed to work out?” his friend pointed out.

  
“If it even will….” he mumbled. 

  
Harry stiffened again, causing him to growl and his eyes to spark once more with a murderous glare. “Don’t treat me like I’m fucking stupid! Do I have to remind you how lucky you are to still have your bollocks attached?” 

  
“Alright alright alright! Fine!” Ron caved tilting back and away, holding up his hands in defense. “Alright. Fine. Merlin. Quit threatening my bloody bollocks! It’s just where I….I….”

  
His throat tightened as he almost said the word. A last subconscious effort to prevent the inevitable. It caused his heart to start thumping against his chest bone. “It’s where….where I…I realized….” he tried again, at least making a little more progress.

  
Ron tried taking a deep breath to help, and he couldn’t help it as his eyes started darting back and forth from Harry, who seemed perfectly content to wait him out. It caused his face to scrunch up knowing this was it and he wasn’t letting it go. He just had to get it over with. 

  
“It’s where I….I realized I really love you,” he said in a rush. Ron let out an exhausted breath as soon as it was out. It felt like his heart was in his throat, and he had just run two laps around a quidditch pitch. “Ugh...” he breathed heavily, leaning his head back dramatically in both relief and tiredness from the mental admission. 

  
While he desperately didn’t want to look at his friend, part of him also did. He had to know what was going to happen now. Especially if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t punched in the face again. What he saw though was unreadable, but at least they weren’t sparking with anger anymore. 

  
“You love me?” Harry asked him blankly.

  
Ron licked his lips slowly. His mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry, still it felt a little easier than before. “Yea….” he trailed off quietly.

  
“More than best mates?” he asked like he needed clarification.

  
That time Ron bit the inside of his cheek painfully hard. How many times was he going to make him say? His lips pressed tightly together, but he managed to get it out even if it was practically a whisper. “More than best mates….”.

  
His friend started bringing his hand up to his face causing him to jerk and turn away in what he shamefully admitted to himself was a bit of fear. The man turned his face back to him though with it, despite slight resistance. Ron’s heart was racing a mile a minute as he did so. 

  
Harry was searching him with a confused expression, and Ron wasn’t able to tell what it meant. Not knowing caused him to frown deeply. 

  
“Why didn’t you say anything?” was all Harry asked him. 

  
Ron scoffed at the question. “That sounds bloody brilliant doesn't it?” he asked in return. “Hey Harry I know we have been best mates since we were 11, but now I love you. I know you were just wanting to figure yourself out, but now I have these desires for us to be together forever, be boyfriends, have a family and all that rubbish.” He didn’t even really realize what he was saying as he rambled it off. It felt freeing enough it just rolled off his tongue. It all hardly mattered now anyways now that it was out. “That would just go over well now wouldn’t it?” he asked rhetorically with a fair amount of sarcasm. 

  
“Yes,” Harry said plainly as soon as he finished, and Ron’s eyes widened slightly taken off guard when the bloke started caressing the side of his face with his hand. “Yes,” he said again with a smile growing on his face as his caressing got a bit faster. “Yes it would. I love you Ron. I fucking love you.”. 

  
It sounded like it was a joyous moment for him to say it, like he had been dosed in some kind of potion, and the redhead looked between his arm and face carefully trying to make sure he was okay. There wasn’t much time though before Harry smashed their lips together in a deep kiss. Holding onto him with a strong hand on his cheek. Then he began peppering him with kisses. 

  
“Merlin I love you,” he laughed in between every few, and Ron felt too in shock to return anything. 

  
The redhead tried to shake him away a little trying to process his words. “Wait...what?” 

  
“You’re a fucking prat, and I fucking love you,” Harry laughed freeing his arms that he had pushed down so he could grab his neck and kiss him again. 

  
Ron smiled despite himself, almost unable to believe what was being said, and kissed him back with the same amount of passion. Enjoying the moment, and holding onto each other like it wasn’t true. Harry had never shown any inkling of ever wanting more. He knew he let terms of endearments slip, and sweet gestures when he was just feeling content and happy. Harry never had though. 

  
They were nearly full on snogging when he forced himself to pull away for another question before being kissed again. It sounded too good to be true. Something he had always hoped for, but never dared to think was a possibility. “Since when?” 

  
Harry gripped his neck a little hard like it was taking great effort to keep himself from continuing, seeming as pent up with emotion as he had been. “The battle,” he admitted without the hesitation he had shown. “Since you threw yourself at me. That’s when I realized it. I realized out of all the people in the world you are the one I would have missed most of something would have happened to you. I love you Ron and the idea of you not being with me hurt so much in that moment.” 

  
At that Ron wrapped him up in his arms and squeezed him tightly. He tried to prevent himself from twirling him in a circle , yet he found himself doing it anyways. Leaning their heads together as they laughed at the absurdity of the situation. Letting things get this far, and hard to say anything. They were both prats. 

  
“I just thought it was a casual routine,” Harry continued when he sat him on his feet again. “Living together, and all to the point it just became a habit. It was understandable after so long. We’ve only been shagging and snogging since sixth year after all. I thought if I started moving on….” 

  
Ron shook his head. “It was a habit…. but it wasn’t. It’s just….what I wanted. I just wanted you. Being with you, hanging out, kissing you, shagging you, waking up and coming home to you every damn day….” Ron kissed him again, and it was like no more words were needed. Like all the rest of his words were in their kiss. 

  
He felt free, and for once like there was nothing holding him back. Nothing in his head telling him it was wrong, or that it needed to stop. That it wasn’t real, and he had to enjoy it while he could. There was no fear or worry. It was just them. 

  
Harry took to rubbing his hands over his chest. Something he always liked to do, but this time it felt sweeter and like it meant more. Or maybe it always had, and he just hadn’t paid attention. It felt so much more intimate the way his hands roamed his body while they snogged. 

  
They seemed to be making up after weeks of neglect. Their lips sliding together already swollen. For once they didn’t nip at each other or suck on each other's lips. There was no pressure to make sure it was amazing because it already felt that way inside. The power of what three little words could do to him, or them, was shocking. 

  
Especially proven when the bloke rubbed a hand over the bulge in his trousers Ron didn’t realize that he had grown. He was so caught up mentally that his physical pleasure had taken to the background. Even as their tongues were constantly brushing each other and intertwining. That was of course until Harry touched him. 

  
When his friend slipped a hand into his pants Ron hissed at the contact. “I love you Harry,” he repeated on contact again like he couldn’t say it enough. Every time they had hugged, kissed, or touched each other in such a way it always had wanted to fall out of his mouth. Now he could let it. Say exactly as he felt in the moment as he wrapped his hand around his erection. Sliding his hand up and down painfully slow as his kisses grew lighter. 

  
They only grew lighter though as he removed his hand again, and started unbuttoning their trousers. “I want to feel you,” Harry said, and Ron looked down to see him pulling out his own hardened cock. The one he had touched and sucked so many times, but now looked like he had never seen it before. “I need to feel you against me Ron,” he said again as he took to stroking himself.

  
The words and sight almost caused the redhead to moan without anything even happening. Undoing his own trousers the rest of the way he freed and stroked himself also replaying his words. He felt on a high of love and lust. Like it was some kind of dream. 

  
Pushing his pelvis out Ron wrapped his hand as much as could around both of their erections. Pressing their cocks hard together as he held them together. They had only done this maybe three times in the last two years. Experimentally he moved his hand up and down, pulling their foreskin along with them. 

  
Then he remembered why. It was so stimulating, they were so close together, forced to stand and look at each other deeply in the eyes unless one of them closed them. He remembered every time that had been Harry. This time though Harry didn’t as he started twisting his wrist as he started actually wanking them together. 

  
“Is….is that why you’ve always wanted me to say your name,” Harry asked a little breathlessly as he fisted them, holding onto the blokes hip to keep them steady and close. Ron allowed the palm of his hand to loosen, and rub over the tips. Smearing their precum around before sliding back down a little easier thanks to the fluid of their arousal. It caused Harry to buck up into his hand as he encased them tightly again. 

  
“Yes,” he moaned softly as Harry dragged his cock back down his shaft. He started stroking them faster, leaning in to lick the corner of his mouth before swallowing his lips with his own. “I’ve always wanted it to be me. You actually wanting me. Coming because of me.” Ron held their cocks together as tight as he could, causing them both to hiss from the pressure. “I’ve wanted my name on your lips so you could never forget what we do together.” 

  
Harry rested a hand on his shoulder almost like he was trying to keep himself together as his hips started rocking. “I could never forget,” he breathed. “No matter what. I could never not think of you Ron.” 

  
“Ohh…” he allowed himself to moan out loud. They were words he had longed to hear. He started pushing himself up harder into his fist that was moving even quicker as they continued to leak from their slits. It forced Harry’s cock up with him faster than his hips were moving.

  
It caused the bloke to whimper. “Talk to me Harry. Talk to me,” Ron asked, growing short of breath. Harry’s hand kept tightening and loosened on his shoulder and his eyes were fluttering. 

  
“What do you want me to say?” Harry asked quickly before he started panting. Ron knew he was getting close to the edge and he wanted to hear everything.

  
“I….I don’t know,” Ron admitted. “I just...oh….oh…” he had to pause to take a deep breath. His blood pumping with a pulse through him. Sparking his skin as his balls started drawing up. “I just want to hear you.” 

  
“You mean like…..oh hell….” Harry panted, sounding stressed. “Like I love you? Like I’m ten seconds from coming all over your hand? Like it’s the best fucking wank in my life because it’s you?” 

  
“Merlin yes,” Ron grunted, wanking them hopelessly like it was possible at all to go faster or twist his wrist more with the size of them both. All he could do was keep tugging them upwards and pulling Harry’s hips closer to him as the heat pooled in the base of his belly and cock ready to explode. “Fuck Harry. Look at me. Look at me,” he said far too desperately as the bloke looked down to their cocks. 

  
When their eyes met again Ron saw Harry’s green eyes melt a little. They visibly weakened under his blue ones. His lips parted, and he thrust up into his hand again and again without breaking contact. 

  
“Ron,” Harry said in a small voice. “Ron….I’m coming. I’m coming for you Ron. Oh bollocks...I’m coming for you,” he sounded like he couldn’t breathe at all as he spoke, but he was determined to for him. 

In a surge of satisfaction Ron captured his lips. Wanting to give him his air, and breathing heavily through his nose feeling Harry’s cum coating his hand as his cock twitched under his touch. The hot liquid of his friend’s pleasure spilling over top of them both his own body to surge from the overwhelming mental and physical feelings. 

  
It was enough so that he had to break their kiss and simply lean their foreheads together as he alternated panting and grunts through his own now erratic strokes. What was their first shag together going to be like after all this if his body was tightening like a wire just from mutual wank. So much so he thought he might combust until it finally snapped. His orgasm flooded him so quickly he got dizzy. Coming hot and heavy over Harry’s release. 

  
Instead of latching onto his neck and biting down on him like he wanted, it just didn’t feel right for the moment. A moment he felt like he had been waiting for forever. Ron wanted to make sure Harry knew what he did to him. How it made his knees weaken. 

  
“I love you Harry...oh…” was all he managed before a tight mewl though, and he hoped he could see it in his face and by the enthusiasm in which he continued to stroke them both through his own orgasm. He figured he did by the way Harry grabbed his face in both hands. Kissing him soft and comforting as he made the most pitiful noises until his body quit shaking.

  
It allowed him to slow his arm, and start trying to breath properly despite their locked lips Harry was determined not to let go of. Ron squeezed their deflating cocks coated in cum together one final time before letting go, and it caused his friend to part their lips with a pop. 

  
“Fuck me Harry….” he half laughed half groaned finally allowing himself to close his eyes. They were dried out from his stubborn determination to keep them open. 

  
“I will tonight if you let me,” the man replied and Ron’s eyes snapped open from the cloud of bliss. Harry was grinning at him, wiggling his eyebrows. It caused him to narrow his own like it was a challenge. It would be an outright lie to say he hadn’t considered it on numerous occasions. Deep in his pelvis a mental amount of arousal stirred. Having just come so hard though his cock was too spent to twitch. His ass on the other hand made it’s interest known by clenching and unclenching.

  
“Maybe….” he drew out playfully before walking away, not even caring if his hand was covered in cum or his cock was hanging out. He sat down on his bed, feeling exhausted again as his breathing still wasn’t fully calmed, and laid back. He felt like he had been through the emotional strainer. 

  
“Does this mean we are boyfriends now?” he asked Harry, blinking up at the ceiling. He still felt a little high with his head swimming happily. The tingle of magic washing over him and cleaning away their mess didn’t help the lightened feeling.It only heightened it. 

  
“I don’t know Ron. Did we just confess we love each other?” Harry asked him. 

  
It was probably meant to be a rhetorical question, but Ron found himself replying to it anyways. “That’s still not a yes though.”

  
“Prat,” he heard Harry chuckle. “Yes Ron. I want to be your boyfriend.”

  
The redhead closed his eyes happily. All those morning kisses didn’t compare to his current state. “Come on,” he said, patting beside him. “I will forget you hit me, twice mind you, if you cuddle. I fucking love it when you’re asleep and act like I’m a fucking teddy bear,” he admitted and when he did he felt another surge of satisfaction. Was he going to get that every time he admitted something he had felt over the years? “That sure as hell feels good to finally say,” he exhaled with a smile.

  
Harry snorted. “Who says I’m asleep when I do it?” 

  
Ron’s heart fluttered at that and he smiled even larger at the information that he had sometimes been awake. “Just get your ass over here.”

  
When Harry didn’t sit down beside him though he looked down his body to see what he was doing. He was standing there uncomfortably, having tucked himself away already. Scratching behind his ear which wasn’t a good thing.

  
“Ummm. Well….we uh….let’s hold off on the cuddling and celebrating until later,” he suggested. “We can go out to eat, and go for a fly or the cinema, then we can shag each other silly and everything but….” 

  
“But what?” Ron asked a little worriedly, propping himself up on his elbows. What did they possibly have to do that took away their happy time together after a weekend of being on the outs? 

  
“Is it Cormac?” he asked a bit brighter with a smile. “Please tell me you broke it off, he is pissed, and I have permission to hex his sorry ass any time he contacts or comes within five feet of you.”

  
“Of course I broke up with him Ron,” he said sounding slightly offended. “I was pretty sure what you were trying to say so I ended that yesterday. But uh…” Harry made a painful face and averted his gaze to the corner of the room away from him. “I uh….might have….promised your mum when I found you I’d take you to the Burrow so she can basically yell at you.” 

  
Ron’s face fell into one of defeat, and he rolled his eyes as a weight of disappointment crashed onto him. “You know I’ve been dreaming of real pillow talk with you for ages now….” he sighed falling back down flat. “All dreams most definitely do NOT come true.” Then he thought for a second before propping back up. “Wait. Do I still get to hex McLaggen?” he asked hopefully. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Ron fidgeted with his red jumper. Tugging on the long sleeve edges so he would have something to do while Harry grabbed his cloak. He didn’t see the point considering they were flooing. Besides he was too hot to even think about another layer of clothing.

  
“Oh Merlin's beard, are we really going to do this?” he asked, and even his voice sounded stressed.

  
“Well if we ever want to act normal around everyone we can’t pretend we aren’t boyfriends,” Harry said, fastening the clip around his neck seeming calm about it all and like they weren’t about to come out to his family. Both him being gay and them dating all at the same time on top of his getting yelled at for avoiding everyone. It sounded like too much. 

  
“I know I know….” he admitted tugging on his collar. It felt like it was tightening around his throat. “I just don’t know how they are going to take it. Especially mum mate. Shouldn’t we wait a few weeks? Does it have to be now?” 

  
“Quit it. You’re making me nervous again, and one of us has to be confident here,” Harry said shaking himself. 

  
“Hey! I’m confident!” Ron protested, pacing a little now. “I just think this weekend might make it a bit much, yea?” 

  
“Sure you are Ron. Sure,” Harry mocked him. “You’re mum is already mad at you, and if they don’t take it well we...or well mostly you, can just take it all at once. We won’t have to worry about it another day. It will be all over with.” 

  
Ron bounced on his heels from anxiety as Harry picked up the floo powder. “I’m not sure that makes me feel better,” the redhead said.

  
Harry took a deep breath seeming to steel himself for what was about to happen. “Well….you have about twenty seconds to let it make you feel better.” Then he threw the powder down into the floo and disappeared. 

  
Groaning loudly Ron took a handful of powder trying not to fidget anymore. Cracking his neck and letting Harry’s reason work on sinking into his mind. He was right. It was better to get it done tonight since there was a good possibility it was already going to be dramatic. No matter what he was going to get thoroughly yelled at. Might as well let her get it out in one go if she or his dad had a problem.

  
It had just been such a long day with the two of them working themselves out. Confessing. Making up. In the end it had worked out amazing, but that was no guarantee with everyone else. How were they going to take his dating his best mate?

  
Everyone knew Harry was gay so that didn’t matter. He came out right after the war like he had said he would. No one but Hermione knew of his own preferences though. He had never shown or told others he liked blokes at all. Sure George was known to swing both ways, and his uncle was gay, but he doubted anyone would expect such a thing from him. It was sure to be a shocker. 

  
“Shite,” he said loudly trying to get the nervous energy out right before he threw the powder down.

  
Far too few seconds later he was stepping into his parent’s house, and his eyebrows rose in surprise looking around the small sitting room. It caused his anxiety to spike again. People were everywhere. All his brothers except Charlie were there. Ginny also even though she should have been in school. Hermione, Seamus, Dean and Neville were squished in between them all. Harry stood off to the side looking equally confused and embarrassed clearly not having expected the gathering. 

  
“Uhh….What is everyone doing here,” he asked, trying not to sound distressed. “It looks like a bloody intervention.” 

  
“Watch your language young man!” his mother chastised him from behind as she moved around him, pushing him a little towards Harry as he stepped out of the way. “It basically is!” she said roughly turning around to face him with her hands on her hips. “How could you just up, and vanish on everyone? Repeatedly! Spending all weekend moping about Bill and Fleur’s? What is wrong? Harry was jumping around all of Britain looking for you Ronald Weasley!”

  
“Bill!” Ron said exasperatedly, turning his head in disbelief to his older brother. He hadn’t seemed to care what was going on and was happy to talk to him. Telling their mum where he was hadn’t even considered something he would do.

  
“What?” Bill asked for his reaction. “You should be grateful I bought you bloody time, and convinced her to give you a few days! If you didn’t leave before Monday I was required to drag you here by the ear. Better your ass than mine.” 

  
“William! Language!” his mum got on him without turning around. 

  
“Sorry mum,” Bill apologized, and Ron watched him sink back into his chair. 

  
Ron was still confused at everyone’s presence. “Okay so what? Has everyone been having a sleepover waiting for me or something? I would’ve come back!” he told her like it was ridiculous to think he would just disappear forever, and everyone needed to help in the search. 

  
“Harry sent a patronus saying you were home and would be over soon,” his dad said from the far left. Ron growled a little, glared at Harry from the corner of his eye. The bloke looked away though. “Everyone wants to make sure you’re okay. Harry was very worried.”

  
His mum ignored his reaction and dad’s words. “Now what was your problem Ronald?” she asked firmly just below a yell. “What kind of trouble are you in now? Are you on potions? Is someone out for you?” 

  
“Mum!” Ron said, feeling insulted at her lack of faith in him. “I’m going to be a bloody auror! I’m not doing potions, and if someone was after me don’t you think I would just catch them myself?” 

  
“Okay then so what is going on?” Neville asked from the sofa, sounding concerned for him before his mum could get on him again. 

  
Suddenly the room was quiet as everyone waited for an answer. Except for the huff his mom gave, crossing her arms and staring him down. The room felt like it was getting smaller, and when his dad raised his eyebrows encouraging him to explain with a nod it only caused him to suck his lips in refusing to speak under everyone's waiting eyes. 

  
“Well we….” Harry started.

  
Harry’s voice caused his heart to lurch and an onslaught of unbearable panic to dump on him. He grabbed his hand quickly for reassurance. It either caused or allowed the words to just pour out of him. “Me and Harry are dating,” he said so fast he hardly registered them. Even after he said it he couldn’t seem to breathe because of everyones reactions.

  
Around the room there were a variety of expressions. Some jaws dropped, eyes widened, and others looked unbothered. Harry squeezed his hand hard to get his attention causing him to blink out of his tense state. 

  
“Subtle Ron….” he grumbled in a whisper. 

  
No one spoke at first and Ron had absolutely no idea what anyone was going to say or do. He had half a thought that he needed to repeat himself, but Hermione cleared her throat dramatically to get everyone’s attention. Ron’s eyes darted to her, and she straightened herself up with a smile. 

  
“That will be 18 galleons each. Neville, Molly, Arthur, Ginny, Percy,” Hermione said formally with her hand held out on top of her shoulder for people all around her to reach easily considering she sat in the middle of the room.

  
Ron gaped at the witch, completely forgetting his worry due to his friends behavior. “What? You took bets on us dating? You don’t even approve of gambling Mione! How many times did you get onto the whole lot of us for placing bets at quidditch matches!”

  
Hermione shrugged and held herself a little higher. “I only gamble when I know the answer,” she smirked uncharacteristically.

  
Out of nowhere a low whistle echoed around the room, and all eyes turned toward the sound. George was looking far to pleased with raised eyebrows, and a hungry smile. “Damnnnn Granger,” he said in an impressed breathless voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you to be my girlfriend more than I do right now.” 

  
Hermione’s expression turned into an embarrassed kind of smile tinted with a blush. It caused any tension he had felt melt away as he laughed. 

  
“Boys….” his mother groaned softly, seeming tired and like chastising them properly was too much work. 

  
“Are you really?” his dad asked interestedly from the edge of his seat. 

  
He went to say something, but Harry tugged on his hand basically telling him to shut it.

  
“Uh...yes sir,” Harry answered for him. 

  
“So you two like...love each love each other? You’re actually dating as in boyfriends?” Ginny asked. 

  
Ron sighed. “Gin….” 

  
“Hey I’m just making sure!” she insisted despite the grin on her face telling him she was enjoying his nervous state. 

  
Again the room was silent as everyone seemed to be processing the news. “Since when,” George asked. 

  
Uncertain about answering that one he went ahead and did when Harry didn’t say or do anything. “Today?” he told him hesitantly.

  
“Bugger,” his brother grumbled, taking two galleons out of his pocket and placing them in Hermione’s waiting hand.

  
“Okay children enough. Enough,” his mum cut in more sternly, regaining herself and clasping her hands together looking torn between relaxed and stressed. “Now. I’m going to go make some fresh biscuits and tea for us all to enjoy since we are all together for what is apparently good news and not the turmoil that it felt like. Arthur?” she said nodding towards the kitchen. 

  
When his dad got up she started to follow him but then she stopped just beside him. He winched a little thinking she was going to yank him down to her level by the ear. “You young man,” she said in a warning tone, pointing a finger at him in a familiar fashion that told him she wasn’t as angry as she seemed. “...you are denoming the garden ALL next season Ronald Weasley. You will learn to never stress any of us out like that again. Especially Harry. He was beside himself. Don’t you ever treat him like that again. You’re to be the best and proper gentleman, do you understand me?” 

  
“Yes mum….” he answered slowly making sure not to sigh or grumble. Either of which would have only irritated her further even if he was annoyed by being told what he needed to do like a 13 year old.

  
“Right then,” she said, sounding satisfied. Walking past him she joined his dad as he was rounding the corner into the kitchen “Honestly Arthur, what other surprises can these kids possibly spring on us? Godric himself wasn’t…” he heard her whispering before it faded out. It actually caused him to smile a little. 

  
Licking his lips though remembering there was still a room full of people he faced his brothers, Ginny, and friends again. Some were already talking amongst themselves while Percy and Neville were still looking between them in what was still a form of doubt. He couldn’t say he was surprised they were the most uncertain about the revelation. Percy probably was more shocked he was gay in general, while Neville was probably shocked it was with Harry. 

  
“So now that it’s out, how about that orgy mates?” Seamus called out from the back of the room with a grin, and Ron’s face heated so fast it felt like sunburn. His eyes widened at his friend's bold suggestion. 

  
Thankfully the entire room turned on him at once, clearly just as put off from hearing such a thing. “SEAMUS!” 

  
“What?” the Irish man asked innocently, throwing a hand up like everyone else were the unreasonable ones. “Tell them not to go around snogging in public and groping each other’s arses then!” 

  
All eyes turned to them this time, and Ron looked to Harry nervously for an explanation at his accusation. Harry was a deep shade of red even under his tan skin. 

  
“You uh….you might get a little handsy when you're drunk,” Harry mumbled to him.

  
Ron squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment as more than a fair share of memories came back to him over the last few months. “Bloody hell….can we go home now?” he asked, not wanting to meet anyone's faces again. 

  
“Can we come?” Seamus asked far to cheerfully, and Ron glanced at him fast enough to see the hopefulness on his friend’s face, and watch Dean smack him on the back of the head. It made his own head hurt remembering the feeling. 

  
“Seamus!” Dean said, sounding embarrassed himself. “You have to at least give them time to come out before offering the fucking four-way.” 

  
“Thank you. Merlin Seamus can you not….”, Harry started to thank the darker Gryffindor before furrowing his brows causing his sentence to falter processing what he had said. “Wa..wha...Dean?” he asked in something akin to shock. When Dean had enough shame to look guilty, but still merely shrugged in response. He and Harry looked at each other not even knowing what to think about what was being suggested.

  
George spoke before anything else uncomfortable could possibly be said. “Hey Granger. I’d planned on waiting until after this,” he said gesturing up towards him and Harry. “... but will you go on a date with me? I will even let you obliviate me afterwards if you hate it, as long as you take that memory with you.” 

  
Ron watched him wink at Hermione who rolled her eyes with a smile while others were groaning, suppressing laughs, or rubbing their temples. 

  
“Well,” Ron said, feeling a bit better, having everyone ignoring them again, appearing unbothered. “Brilliant. Guess it could have gone a lot worse than degnoming, and being offered an orgy in front of family and friends eh?” he asked Harry with a smile of his own, laughing and nudging him as everyone was talking. 

  
Fleur was massaging Bill’s shoulder’s as he rubbed at his face, while George moved to sit near Hermione where Ginny was whispering in her ear giddily. Neville was having some stressed looking conversation with Dean who was shaking his head. Ron pulled Harry a little closer by the hand, starting to feel a lot more comfortable with the acceptance. 

  
Just when he thought about taking a seat with them Seamus called out over top of everyone. “Is that a yes?” he asked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for Seamus. He is a bit uncontrollable. I tried to shut him up twice and as you see that failed!

**Author's Note:**

> I've created a group on facebook called Ron's Chessboard. 100% Ron centric and no bashing at all is allowed towards him! Feel free to join to share Ron fics, aesthetics and more!


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